AIBU. I don't even hear my own mind now. My brain has just slid. I had diagnosed depression for 18mths during which I really was poorly. I think that a combination of workplace bullying, childhood abuse and an EA partner caused it. I screwed one job up with the depression and am very lucky I know to have a job now but the thought of another slide is terrifying me. My NSDP has been awful for this week. I am desperate to leave or for him to leave. In my head is just a tangle of noise and stress. In the space of a week close family member and my mum were both diagnosed with cancer. My mum is terminal. I have huge debts. But you keep going, and I can cope as long as NSDP is nice. Our kids and family are wonderful.
Sorry. My AIBU to ask for time to see my Dr etc and sort myself out. I had the last two weeks of term off as well. I am normally a loyal and hardworking type but this start is appalling. I'm scared I'll get the sack. My job is highly responsible in a private care company and I am very concerned that I will not be capable of fulfilling my role with clients who need my total focus. myself sliding down like last time. I think I may be been self harming I can't stop crying. AIBU to ask for help tomorrow am and expect it?
Thanks so much 
.
AIBU?
... To feel like I'm going mad. Need advice. Thanks x
daiseehope · 02/09/2013 01:52
daisyhope Your Mum has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. 
That is enough for anyone to cope with.
If I was your employer I would be telling you to take some time out.
The depression you are talking about sounds very much like reactive, stress related depression. You are not going mad, your body and mind are just telling you you need a break. Just be open and honest with your doctor and take the medication. I think, if you haven't told your employer about your Mum, that you really need to.
The thing with depression and stress is that most people feel like they are going to pieces inside but in most cases, on the outside appear only to be mildly under par. You are stronger than you think you are. I imagine your job is very demanding too. Don't worry about your work. Unless there is anything you aren't telling us they will have no reason to sack you. If you can make an appointment with CAB about the debts while you are off, this will help you feel a bit more in control of the debt issue.
I bet you haven't had a second to do anything for yourself for ages?
[tea]
Be kind to yourself.
I have just returned from the doctor. I told him about my partner, how I felt as well as I could. He basically sat there and asked me what I wanted him to do. I was then told I had to be proactive. He didn't feel a change in medication would help, but how I dealt with the situation which he admitted was stressful. I have seen the practice counsellor before and did not find her helpful. I asked for CBT and he said I got a letter and had not responded. I didn't, not blaming Dr, but I didn't. He told me to self cert for a week and return to see him in two. I don't feel helped. 
Sounds like you drew a short straw with that Dr. What a cock!
Go home, put your feet up and rest. Being proactive can wait a few days. You are mentally exhausted. 
Have you got any friends you can chat too about Partner?
Thanks Cat, I thought so too. I don't trust my own brain at munute
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