Trivial but...

[Whirliebirdie]

Partly needing to vent, but also really wonderng...

So, was putting away laundry this evening. I don't iron, usually leave clean clothes in separate basket for each family member to put away. To get them out of the way, since lots extra after summer holiday, I hung husband's shirts in his wardrobe. Well, what a mess it was!! NOt organised at all-everything hung completely randomly, many items on the wrong sorts of hangers (heavy wool jumpers on thin wire hangers, shirts on child-sized hangers, etc). There were clothes that haven't been worn in the 20 years we've been together. Many of the clothes are unwearable:motheaten, frayed, torn, not to mention hideously out of style. Some clothes I had recently bought him (with his approval, if not at his request) still had tags on, while yesterday he wore a too-small jumper (he said I had shrunk it) despite having a lovely, brand new one hanging there.

I tidied (didn't remove anything, though sorely tempted), so he could clearly see what he has, and mentioned that maybe sometime he could have a look and get rid of what he doesn't wear. His response was to get really cross, saying it was all fine as it was and I should instead spend my time cleaning up my piles of filing etc that are lying around the (shared) study. Fair enough I guess, but as I'm the one who does the laundry, and often buys his clothes (he's usually "too busy") it frustrates me. I'd love to tell him to just wash his own damn clothes, but it's not very efficient (we have a large capacity machine) and though he's offered to do all the washing, I know he would never separate, ie white vs dark, delicates vs. regular, or know what (ie bras, etc) to hang vs tumble dry.

I'm not at all OCD about these things, it really is a question of not wrecking good clothes (which I buy&wash) and not taking up space with useless crap. So, I guess my question is AIBU to want him to look after his clothes properly or let me do it?

[LuvMyBoyz]

YABU. Leave him to it.

[KissMeHardy]

I never separate white vs. dark, delicates vs. regular actually. I don't even think it takes up one brain cell of a man !!

They are HIS clothes, he will look after them as he wants.

Don't interfere because you would go ape if he did the same to you, no doubt

[littleblackno]

I would have done it. I don't see a problem. I guess its a problem if he expects it iyswim. I'd have thrown out the old clothes too!

[SomethingOnce]

You have my sympathy. What is wrong with him?! (And my DP, though not quite as bad.)

Unless you're sharing a wardrobe, as we do, I don't think you can insist. Doesn't mean you can't bitch about it, though.

[Whirliebirdie]

Thanks, something. Sympathy helps, and sadly, bitching about it does, too, a little ;)

[Whereisegg]

As you do the washing, just leave anything that's too small, moth eaten etc in the basket.

[Whirliebirdie]

Where's, the trouble is 90% never gets into the laundry, just hangs around in the wardrobe year after year!

[Jan49]

As long as the wardrobe is just for his stuff, I'd just let him get on with it. And maybe not bother to buy him anything new as you know he won't look after it. I'm impressed you have only just noticed this after 20 years. I bet he's messy in other aspects of his life, isn't he?

I don't wash whites and colours separately either.

[twosmallbuttons]

A while ago I would've probably done as you did OP. Now I leave all DH's crap stuff as he leaves it so he only has himself to blame
(Learnt that from MN, I did )

[Pennyacrossthehall]

So you haven't even looked in his cupboard for 20 years?

I'm not suggesting that you were meant to be hanging up his clothes and (meticulously) folding his socks every day . . . . but you've just noticed clothes that you last saw 20 years ago?