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To wonder how having two kids is easier than one?

(229 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Thu 29-Aug-13 19:31:06

My friends tell me that two children is easier than one because they play together. I only have one and I find it really hard work. I do want another in the future but worry I won't cope.
It sounds a lot harder logistically and financially.I think it is lovely to have more than one but then I love the lifestyle I have with one. I am in no position to procreate anyway atm as am single and this is purely hypothetical. Thought I posted this thread earlier but I lost it!

SoupDragon Thu 29-Aug-13 19:34:09

It is both easier and more difficult smile


They do, generally, play together.
You are more confident in parenting.
You are pulled in two different directions
You have two children needing your time

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Thu 29-Aug-13 19:35:32

It can be less intense as they tend to play together more and you're not the default playmate as you are with one. Also looking after the younger child is much easier as you're a dab hand at the things they need having practised on the older one. However, you do obviously have more work to do overall and you do need to juggle competing priorities (eg, stopping breastfeeding hungry baby so potty training toddler can use the potty!). I'd say two is 1.5 times the work of 1 but not twice the work smile

appletarts Thu 29-Aug-13 19:36:13

It's bullshit. It's 1000000 times harder. They play together and then they fight together. The housework is insurmountable. It is the most exhausting thing I have ever done.

treaclesoda Thu 29-Aug-13 19:38:02

I don't think it is easier. Some people might find it easier, but I'm not one of them!

PoppyWearer Thu 29-Aug-13 19:39:01

I'm with appletarts but then I'm still in the 5yo-and-under age bracket. You have to divide and conquer.

Maybe it gets easier when they are older? But I doubt it!

TwasBrillig Thu 29-Aug-13 19:40:37

Its an easier experience in the sense you already know how to parent and aren't all pfb. However no way is at easy as one! I'm permanently exhausted.

Dackyduddles Thu 29-Aug-13 19:41:56

Agree 1.5 times the work. I've got 2.5 and 7mths. The baby was by far easier than the toddler. I'm guessing because I knew what I was doing this time. 99% of stuff thus far I haven't thought about, I've just got on with it.

Toddler is different. I'm learning all the time. She's always on the go and I'm always feeling guilty I don't do enough and I'm a sahm! I'm accepting I'm just far more up tight re her. Because I don't have experience to draw on.

That's what I'm telling myself at least......

Harryhairypig Thu 29-Aug-13 19:42:31

It's really not, not if they don't play together and suffer bad sibling rivalry. It probably is if you get two that do get on and play together but I wouldn't know - been the hardest thing I've ever done/am doing. Love them both immensely though, which is why the fighting hurts so much. They are getting better as they get older.

Rhino71 Thu 29-Aug-13 19:42:40

One is a thousand times easier, on the very odd occasion my twins have been separated, it's like a holiday with just the one.

themaltesefalcon Thu 29-Aug-13 19:43:54

I wouldn't even consider having a second child until this one is at least five. It wouldn't really be fair to her.

emuloc Thu 29-Aug-13 19:45:03

As Appletarts says. I sometimes wonder what on earth was I thinking of by having two. I have no time to think when they are at home and their demands for attention/food/drink/tv is never ending. All that before I even look at all the washing/cooking/ironing that needs to be done. I am always tired.

MrsBungle Thu 29-Aug-13 19:46:18

Well, I haven't found it easier at all! Mine are 4 and 15 months, they don't really play together. It's much harder than just one! IMO!

Dirtymistress Thu 29-Aug-13 19:47:18

What appletarts said. I have two under two. Easy doesn't come into it.

MrsBungle Thu 29-Aug-13 19:47:27

Oh I agree with rhino when I have just one with me it's so easy and calm!

emuloc Thu 29-Aug-13 19:50:18

Ditto the rare times when I just have the one is easier as no fighting/yelling and less mess to tidy up.

Thepowerof3 Thu 29-Aug-13 19:52:31

I find it easier now they are 4 and 6 and they play together instead of asking me all the time, I have 3 though so must be mad

LanguageTimothy Thu 29-Aug-13 19:53:26

Like Rhino I have twins. I used to wonder what all my singleton friends did with all that time.

On the other hand it is lovely to hear them laugh, giggle and whisper together and I can't imagine only having one.

My best friend was an only child and always says they had a great childhood and never missed having a sibling.

If you only want one, that's fine. Sometimes it's easier than two, sometimes it's harder.

If you have another in the future that'll be lovely too. Sometimes it will be easier and sometimes harder.

slightlysoupstained Thu 29-Aug-13 19:55:29

How long before it gets better? Being an old gimmer, don't really have the luxury of waiting till DS is five.

happy2bhomely Thu 29-Aug-13 19:56:05

I've got 5. The eldest is 12 and the youngest is 14 weeks. I think the gaps between children make the difference, not the number of children. From my experience, 3 year gap is ok. 4 1/2 yr gap is great. 22 month gap, not so much!

Saying that, I don't see how having one child to look after could possibly be harder than two.

On Tuesday I had my 5 plus my twin nephews, (18 months) for a few hours. Having my older children here to help entertain the little ones definitely made things easier.

Nomnew Thu 29-Aug-13 19:56:59

It's much more difficult (for me).

"Three Shoes, One Sock and No hairbrush" is a good read for those finding it tough with two.

It is lovely and easier when they play together but mentally I have really struggled with the noise, the fighting, bedtimes, being pulled in different directions, them needing different things, shouts of "mummy", "mummy" all day long. The logistics can be tricky. When they are younger a sling and pushchair combo is great.

When they are older one gets tired and won't walk, so the other decides they want to be carried too. You have to find things to do suitable for two children of different ages/stages in their development.
One wants a toy, the other wants the same thing at exactly the same time. Neither wants to go to bed first. Or if you are trying to get one to bed/nap, the other will sabotage it by shouting loudly or jumping up and down while you are trying to read to the other or calm them down. Doing bedtimes on your own is hard. I used to draft in people to help occasionally if DH wasn't around.

Having a baby the second time was a breeze but once that baby started grabbing things off its sister, things got very tricky for a while. Now they are both talking, yelling, it's very difficult to get any mental space in daylight hours. It can be fun and I'm sure it will be fantastic to have two when they are older but when they and I are both at home it is hard.

It's great when the eldest starts school though. Looking after one seems so easy once you have two.

Icantstopeatinglol Thu 29-Aug-13 19:57:33

Oh god it is a thousand times more difficult with two but worth when in that split second of a day you hear them giggling together!
.....the rest of the time they fight and are constantly trying to get one up on each other. I've got a 5yr and nearly 3yr old and it's all about who's getting/doing what first at the minute.
My nearly 3yr old dd never, I mean NEVER stops talking to the point I don't even know what I'm agreeing to most the time!
I love them!! grin

AcrylicPlexiglass Thu 29-Aug-13 19:59:27

I wouldn't even consider having a second child until this one is at least five. It wouldn't really be fair to her.


Are you serious?

Thepowerof3 Thu 29-Aug-13 20:00:54

I've had a couple of mums of one child tell me I have it easier with multiple children, how they know that I'm not sure!

Thepowerof3 Thu 29-Aug-13 20:01:36

I did raise an eyebrow to that Acrylic

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