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To wonder how two kids can be easier than one?

(24 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Thu 29-Aug-13 17:24:14

Apparently is it according to some of my friends; because they play together apparently.
But what about the expense, the fighting, the logistics? Lovely to have a sibling but I struggle with one. Is two a good idea if you find parenting hard? In my circumstances I wouldn't anyway but am thinking of dating again and the issue of children in the future is playing on my mind!

ITCouldBeWorse Thu 29-Aug-13 17:25:41

That's it. They might play together, when they are not battering each other.

However, as an adult, I think some 'only' children find an absence in their life, but I'm sure there are variations

dingledongle Thu 29-Aug-13 17:32:45

OP having three kids here today, I would say looking after one would be a piece of cake. It would depend on the one though!

Some children able to play on their own (my DS) others are not (my dd)!

Some days my kids play lovely together, other days it is shout, hit and argue.

It does make it feel really easy when you are only left with one as the others are at a friends house.

It is easier with one most definitely, parents of two or more IMO justify their life choices by telling you it is easier with two (duck and run!).

TallyGrenshall Thu 29-Aug-13 17:38:11

I find it easier when DS has a friend over because they entertain each other but I've only had minor squabbles not full on sibling rage. I often struggle with DS because he is just so full-on all the time.

Last week, I had a back spasm and even with 2 very active, highly charged boys (4 & 5), I found it easier than just DS on his own

waltzingmathilda Thu 29-Aug-13 17:42:10

Two are easier than one, but three upset the equilibrium. Four again is easier. Keep to even numbers.

hobnobsaremyfave Thu 29-Aug-13 17:44:02

I have four tis still easier than the hell that was pfb as an only for four years.

MarshaBrady Thu 29-Aug-13 17:44:30

I find it easier to have two around as they play with each other.

Then they have an argument over lego, plus one might want to go the park and the other doesn't.

But overall I do find it easier as the 8 year old entertains the 3 year old.

But it took a few years to get there.

HorryIsUpduffed Thu 29-Aug-13 17:46:16

I find two easier than I found one, despite the conflicts. Having a ready playmate whom you have to compromise with all the time is a lifeline.

I am pg with DC3 (final) so am ignoring comments about even numbers. grin

youbethemummylion Thu 29-Aug-13 17:46:33

I find my two easier than when I just had DS1 as he was completely incapable of playing by himself so DS2 keeps him busy and DS1 helps me look after DS2. However if they didnt get on so well it would definately be harder; just depends on the kids.

Kaekae Thu 29-Aug-13 17:50:58

My two are only two years apart DS 6 and DD nearly 4 so they do play together and entertain each other. They almost all of the time get along with each other. I would find three a challenge it seems one usually gets left out of games etc.

BackforGood Thu 29-Aug-13 17:59:04

I have 3 and they do'occupy' each other. Yes, sometimes it's fighting, and sometimes it's being nice to each other. The older they get, the nicer they are to each other. They've ALWAYS had each other's backs when out and about though, however much they've been horrible to each other at home.
My eldest is was very hard work. Fitting dc2 in was a piece of cake, tbh. Same with dc3 if I'm honest. Finding the first dc difficult does not automatically mean you'll find a 2nd one difficult.

Squitten Thu 29-Aug-13 18:04:38

I have found it easier for two reasons really.

Firstly, I found dealing with baby 2 was much easier. Birth was better, I felt more confident about what I was doing and everything went much smoother than the rather shell-shocked panic that was pretty much DC1's entire first year!

Secondly, they do play together and occupy each other even if does turn into a fight a lot of the time! Kid 2 was also much more complacent about fitting into Kid 1's routine (which it had to from day 1) and generally likes to copy him so it made teaching the younger one how to do stuff much easier

Obviously not a universal experience but that's how I found it

NoComet Thu 29-Aug-13 18:05:45

Despite being as different as chalk and cheese, my DDs do play together, they chat, they do each others hair.

They lookout for each other in our large garden, if one falls of the swing etc. the other comes and finds me. I'm happier if they cycle, or go to the shop together as a pair.

As I say they are not alike, if we didn't live in the middle of nowhere, they prefer the company of friends, but as it is they make a unexpectedly good team.

I'm not particularly good at small children, so I was delighted to let them play together or chatter in the car and not have to entertain them.

Yes it's more expensive, and yes I end up taxi driving in opporsite directions, but on the whole I think we all win on the deal.

Most of all having two so different makes you stress less about their faults and moderate your praise. Having two takes on everything makes you a much less neurotic, stressy parent.

It's very rare they both choose to worry me or wind me up at the same time. Unlike DSIS and me they don't fight.

Partly I'd like to say because of good parenting, fighting and point scoring is forbidden and each is given plenty of space and time alone, but mostly luck.

DD1 is dizzy, dyslexic and socially immature and her younger sister the exact opporsite. This compresses the age gap and means sometimes DD2 is better at things than DD1. DD1 has a quiet confidence and doesn't worry that DD2 reads better than she does. DD2 acknowledges, that for all the surface dizziness and hopelessness at making friends, in a real emergency DD1 won't panic.

It's hard to explain, briefly, but somehow they compliment each other in a way that works.

moominmarvellous Thu 29-Aug-13 18:06:08

Having one child is easier than having two in my opinion. I have two, my second is quite hard work.

Looking after two or more children can feel like it makes things easier because they play together and I know I can send them home!

ViviDeBeauvoir Thu 29-Aug-13 18:11:13

I have 3DC and find 3 easier than 2 and 2 easier than 1

This is because when there are three they can all play together or if one isn't interested, there's still another one to play with. When there's two, they keep each other company. When there's only one, they always want me.

So basically, I'm a lazy parent and like the easy option.

searching4serenity Thu 29-Aug-13 18:14:00

They're lying...! Two is bloody hard work.

Maybe I'll change my mind when DD is older though? Hope so.

If you find one-on-one intense time with your PFB really hard... Then I can see how having a siblIng could help with entertainment!

ProfYaffle Thu 29-Aug-13 18:17:29

Well, I found the baby plus a toddler stage horrific but now they're 9 and 6 it's way easier. We have finally reached the stage where we go to the park, dh and I can sit down and the girls just run off together and play. Bliss.

JenaiMorris Thu 29-Aug-13 18:21:03

I think one can be quite intense and I often wish ds had a sibling. I'm not saying it would be easier though, not by any means.

I think we're a bit too adult-geared in our house, sometimes.

BackforGood Thu 29-Aug-13 18:21:09

This is a good point by starballbunny

They lookout for each other in our large garden, if one falls of the swing etc. the other comes and finds me. I'm happier if they cycle, or go to the shop together as a pair.

Never really thought about it, but it does make a lot of sense.
Great example today - my dds' school is a mile and a half away and they can walk on any number of different combination of roads to get there / home. Before dd1 started secondary, I spent quite a few hours going on walks and bike rides with her, so she felt she knew the roads really well, and could stroll as far as a friends house on different routes and still know where she was. dd2 starts this year, and dd1 has taken her for bike rides and shown her how different roads connect up. I've not had to have anything to do with it this time round. I know, tiny, and 'personal to us' example, but it's been repeated so many times over the years, with that first 'going to to postbox alone' trip or first time going to shops on own, etc. It's great to see them go off together with growing independence. smile

PaperSeagull Thu 29-Aug-13 18:23:34

I have a friend with three sons. The first two boys are only a year apart in age, and due to luck, temperament, or something else, they were always very good friends and playmates. When the older boys were 10 and 12, my friend had her third son. She says it was a huge revelation to her that she had to think of ways to entertain him, as the older boys had always played together with very little intervention on her part. She now says it would have been much easier to have had a fourth child, but I guess that is assuming that the younger two would have been as close as the older two. If they had fought constantly, two would have been much more difficult than one.

Interesting discussion.

littleducks Thu 29-Aug-13 18:40:00

The crying newborn and attention seeking toddler combination isn't easier but when they grow up they become companions for each other. If something happens in the playground and one gets hurt the other comforts them (even if they fight at home).

pianodoodle Thu 29-Aug-13 18:53:54

I haven't found out yet but will in a few months!

I have a feeling the two is easier than one only applies to dogs...

meddie Thu 29-Aug-13 19:02:21

I had 2 children just 14 months apart.They have never got on. Always fought, refused to play with each other and as adults don't even have each other on FB or each others numbers in their phones. I felt like a referee for the whole of their childhood. So you cant guarantee that 2 kids will amuse each other

PaperSeagull Thu 29-Aug-13 19:38:53

Oh, I just noticed a mistake in my earlier post. It should read "When the older boys were 10 and 11." Not that it matters, really, but since I noticed it I thought I'd correct it.

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