Going on a short break with my parents this weekend with DH and DD (2.5), long weekend up north. My mum is quite unwell and dad needs a lot of support and respite. I go down about once every three weeks/month to help out. Don't resent this at all as he needs the support but its stressful sometimes, he can be quite entitled and a bit selfish about it, just not saying thanks for the fact that we do a ton of housework/cooking for them or taking into account that I have a small child I need to care for alongside fitting in with what he wants to do.
He's also paying for our accommodation though we're chipping in for petrol and have agreed to go halves on meals.
He wants to head off very early on Saturday morning to get a good start driving. Fair enough, as the drive will be (conservatively) four and a half hours without factoring food/loo breaks. He asked if we could be at their house on Friday night. We can't because we're both working. He gave me a hard time about this as he has trouble grasping that we can't just drop work at a minute's notice but has now accepted it but is now saying we need to be there by 9am on Saturday.
For us to be there by 9am on Saturday we would need to be leaving our house by about 5am (we don't have a car and would have to travel across London to get to the place where we'd get our train where it would then take a further hour and a half to get to their house.) DH has been working until around 7pm every night this week and isn't expected back until about 8pm on Friday. We were also all at their house last weekend.
I called this morning and said was there any way we could get a train to somewhere that's en route which would allow us not to have to be up at the crack of dawn and also wouldn't mean he would have to make too much of a deviation from his journey (I have somewhere specific in mind and have worked out that it would mean he'd have to drive about 45 mins out of his way.) He said flatly no way, he's old and doesn't want to have to go too far out of his way.
Now I know that his life is a bit shit at the moment as looking after my mum really takes its toll and I know he's doing us a favour by paying for us. But AIBU to expect him to at least consider meeting us half way on this?
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AIBU?
really don't know if I'm BU and need to calm down or if my dad is being a twat...
70 replies
quesadilla · 29/08/2013 13:15
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