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AIBU?

My colleague apparently has never done a poo or even farted while at work.

130 replies

Babybunny88 · 28/08/2013 23:53

AIBU to think she's either lying or has had a really sore tummy for the past 8 years? Confused

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joanofarchitrave · 28/08/2013 23:55

I hear all sorts of things about other people's bowel habits, including that they never go in certain places or that they never actually sit on a toilet seat.

Makes me feel like a complete slob but when it's time to go (well,actually a bit before that) it's gonna happen, there's not a lot of choice in the matter.

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LeaveTheBastid · 28/08/2013 23:57

I'd believe it, I've trumped but the only time I've ever actually needed a poo at work was when I had a dodgy tummy. And I was literally shitting myself incase someome came in and caught whiff of me Grin

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FannyMcNally · 29/08/2013 00:01

Euurgh! People pooing at work! Will no one think of the others?

The pooers at work never clean the bowl after them. They should be hunted down and shot. I'm sure they only do it to save buying toilet paper at home.

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silkboots · 29/08/2013 00:02

I bet she/he has done a sbd (silent but deadly)

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M0naLisa · 29/08/2013 00:03

I e trumped at work albeit quiet Wink but the only time I have had a poo at work is when I've been ill or IBS had a flare up Confused

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joanofarchitrave · 29/08/2013 00:04

Seriously????

I just have no idea how - and why - anyone holds it in for that long.

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LadyStark · 29/08/2013 00:04

I don't poo at work. I do work near fortnum and mason and often pop in for a poo at the lovely F&M bathrooms.

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joanofarchitrave · 29/08/2013 00:10

How much warning of an impending poo do you get, then?

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DuckToWater · 29/08/2013 00:11

I poo two or three times a day so one of them would usually be at work. If you've got to go, you've got to go, it's very bad for you to hold it in!

Also if I get stressed at work it goes straight to my stomach, I can hardly help that.

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BrokenSunglasses · 29/08/2013 00:11

I don't see anything unbelievable about that. For years I never did a poo outside my own home unless I was on holiday for more than two nights. I still don't really.

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JulietBravoJuliet · 29/08/2013 00:12

I can't poo anywhere other than at home. Even on holiday, I have major problems and usually return from a week away looking 9 months pregnant. It's not for want of trying, my body just will not go anywhere else! I have trouble if there's even anyone in the house!

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Chottie · 29/08/2013 00:12

Does it really matter either way? Do you really sit there discussing this at work? I would not be interested enough to even think the question

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Wuldric · 29/08/2013 00:13

I never do a poo in the office. Never. Had the trots badly once and took myself off to the disabled loos. Could not would not ever willingly do a poo in the office.

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Boaby · 29/08/2013 00:14

I try not to poo at work but if I really have to go I use the toilets across the hall (in a business centre) I have been known to let rip big stinky farts at my desk though & be all 'ooh what's that smell? Must be the harbour' haha

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utreas · 29/08/2013 00:15

Your colleague is a liar

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sarascompact · 29/08/2013 00:15

You asked? Shock Grin

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Binkyridesagain · 29/08/2013 00:16

Home and when stopping in a hotel with ensuite, any where else is a no no for me.

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2kidsintow · 29/08/2013 00:18

I also have a colleague who claims this. I admire her restraint. I would rather avoid it, but sometimes it can't be avoided. :)

Oh, and I have mastered the art of passing wind silently in my classroom and then walking away, leaving the children to blame each other. Most amusing. :)

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joanofarchitrave · 29/08/2013 00:26

Am truly mystified.

FannyMcNally, the flaw in your argument is that if a pooer at work Hmm does clean the bowl, you don't necessarily notice they have shat there apart from the industrial smell. And I don't do it to save toilet paper at home FGS, I do it because if I don't go to the toilet pretty much when I get the urge, I shit myself - I've done it twice in the past two months due to putting it off too long. It's unimaginable to me that anyone can hold on in the way you're talking about - what eventually comes out, pig iron?

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EBearhug · 29/08/2013 00:30

When I was a child, I would go a whole day without using the school loos (this stopped once I got my periods.) It was probably terribly bad for me, and I don't even know why I did it, I don't remember any particular fear or anything, it's just I was either in lessons, or playing with my friends, so there wasn't time.

And also as a child, we stayed with someone for a couple of nights during the hols, and it was not a very pristine place, and I refused to do a poo till I was back in a nice place (not that I told anyone, I just couldn't do it.) My mother unusually agreed when I said I didn't ever want to stay there again.

As an adult, I've travelled all over, and when you've dug your own long-drop and stuff - I'm just not that uptight about using loos any more, because real loos and running water and so on are a bit of a luxury. Although I do prefer the other cubicles to be empty if I need a poo.

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ChubbyKitty · 29/08/2013 00:36

Only time I ever pooed at work was when I was ill. I blocked the toilet.


Never. Again. Hmm

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ScornedWoman · 29/08/2013 00:38

I believe it - I once drove the 8 miles home from work to do a poo, then drove back. I'd no more do a poo at work than do one in a public toilet!
My ex- husband could poo anywhere. He regularly used a carrier bag over a bucket in the back of the work van :*)

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NuggetofPurestGreen · 29/08/2013 00:43

I am fascinated by this. How can you dictate when you will and won't poo?? I couldn't hold it in if I tried!

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Babybunny88 · 29/08/2013 00:43

Yes, actually, we did discuss this at work once, and I can post a topic about it if I like. And working with babies, poo is often a talked about subject in my work. Don't like the topic then don't post.

I can understand never pooing at work, but surely nobody would hold a fart in?

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Toadinthehole · 29/08/2013 00:52

If you fart at work, please remember to do so near at least two other people. Let it drift out before moving away or it will follow you.

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