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AIBU to still be cross even if DH says it was a mistake?

(69 Posts)
ShadeofViolet Tue 27-Aug-13 15:07:01

DH and I have been overpaying off our mortgage in the hope that we can be mortgage free by the time I am 40.

Last summer I overpaid £5000 which I had saved up in the previous year, it was hard work but I though we had the common goal. Mortgage overpaying was his idea. I asked DH to call the mortgage company to tell them we didn't want to change the payment amount. He said he had. Its his mortgage so I cant do it.

Got the statement this morning and he has not done it, he has been paying less each month so my overpayment was for nothing. When I asked him why he lied he told me that he did it to stop him nagging.

We havent rowed about it, but I am pretty annoyed. He says its a mistake and therefore I cant be mad.

AIBU. I am prepared to be told I am petty and I probably am, but TBH I am annoyed.

Purple2012 Tue 27-Aug-13 15:09:06

I would be annoyed. I could accept making a mistake and forgetting but not the not telling you to stop the nagging. Luckily I am the one that does all our finances

QueenofallIsee Tue 27-Aug-13 15:09:12

He has pissed away 5000, lied about it and you think you are being petty? I would clock him. Twat

MaxPepsi Tue 27-Aug-13 15:09:47

What has happened to the £5k payment you made?

Has it not gone on the mortgage?

MimmeeBack Tue 27-Aug-13 15:10:07

So where is the extra money that has not been paid each month?

squoosh Tue 27-Aug-13 15:10:18

So he encouraged you to overpay by £5000 in the belief it would go toward reducing the mortgage and then he reduces his own payments? Very sneaky, I'd be raging.

Mistake my ass.

CiderwithBuda Tue 27-Aug-13 15:10:33

How is it a mistake if he has knowingly being paying less? And why is it 'his' mortgage?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 27-Aug-13 15:10:50

Where has the extra money gone and why are you overpaying his mortgage? Are you on the deeds?

DoItTooJulia Tue 27-Aug-13 15:11:00

Get your name on that mortgage! Don't pay anymore until that's sorted.

livinginwonderland Tue 27-Aug-13 15:11:36

Why are you paying towards "his" mortgage?

squoosh Tue 27-Aug-13 15:11:55

Yup, I'd be concerned if my name wasn't on the mortgage. You're married, why is the mortgage his alone?

TylerHopkins Tue 27-Aug-13 15:12:04

I'd be raging too.

Where has the money gone then?

Are you going to ask him?

ShadeofViolet Tue 27-Aug-13 15:12:16

The mortgage company reduced his monthly payments to reflect the overpayment.

The mortgage payments come out of his current account, so the extra money will be in there. He says he 'spent it without realising'

He hasn't pissed away £5000, the mortgage payments have been reduced by about £45 a month.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Tue 27-Aug-13 15:12:45

Why are you not on the mortgage??????

He has taken your £5000 - tell him you want it back.

This is not a mistake, he knows he is paying much less each month.

Pantone363 Tue 27-Aug-13 15:13:09

You saved up and paid 5k towards someone else's mortgage? He lied and said he was doing the same but actually reduced his payments?

Fuck that. Where's your money?

TylerHopkins Tue 27-Aug-13 15:13:35

Is there a reason both your names aren't on the mortage? being nosey

squoosh Tue 27-Aug-13 15:13:38

A 12 month reduction of £45 per month matches a £5000 overpayment?

ShadeofViolet Tue 27-Aug-13 15:13:45

I have my own mortgage on another property which I kept when we bought our house. Because there wasn't enough equity to remortgage when we bought our family home I wasn't put on our mortgage here.

Pantone363 Tue 27-Aug-13 15:14:05

Oh ok. So the payments reduced by £45 which he didn't notice? Why aren't you in the mortgage?

squoosh Tue 27-Aug-13 15:14:28

OP aren't all your alarm bells ringing very loudly?

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Tue 27-Aug-13 15:14:32

OK - well he owes you however many months of £45.

But you have bigger problems than that. The fact that you aren't on the mortgage and that he lies to you to stop you nagging, if he lied about this what else does he lie about?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 27-Aug-13 15:15:17

Why didn't you overpay your own mortgage?

TylerHopkins Tue 27-Aug-13 15:15:50

Agree with chipping. The lying bit would really worry me.

QueenofallIsee Tue 27-Aug-13 15:16:10

But her DH said he didn't tell her about it to 'stop her nagging'. If 5k was saved up and not used for the agreed purpose, instead reducing his outgoings then I would call that pissing it away, sorry. I would be raging with him

MaxPepsi Tue 27-Aug-13 15:16:13

Is he going to rectify it by upping the payments by £90 from now on and put you on the mortgage?

And if that is going to be a long drawn out process give his immediate authority to discuss the mortgage with you in the meantime?

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