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AIBU to have to clean up after house guests who are not toilet trained

(42 Posts)
barbsb Mon 26-Aug-13 18:34:46

AIBU to expect the parents to clean up the bathroom after their little girl has soiled the loo bowel and urinated on the floor

ZeroTolerance Thu 29-Aug-13 19:06:25

Chaos, she didn't have the conversation in front of guests. It was afterwards, with her DH.

Dubjackeen Thu 29-Aug-13 19:03:43

Poor little girl. It's awful that she is being put on the naughty step for something that she can't help, and that she needs treatment for.

barbsb Thu 29-Aug-13 18:54:22

ok so this is more common than i realised. nine year olds messing the loo- holy smokes. Yep Im in Ireland. I grilled the granny on the whole thing and she said the public health nurse had referred them to an incontience training service we have here, but the mom didnt bother going.

TBH the whole things a mess which i dont want to be dragged into. Some families talk alot but nothing is ever done. I find it so frustrating. They all talk about the little poppet but noone ever does/suggests anything to be done

I told the mom to take her to the GP to sort it out and i felt like i was crossing a major line doing even that . However this thread has been good cos now i realise there are children smearing loo's up and down the country- No wonder Marks and Spencer bathroom mousse is such a big seller

oscarwilde Thu 29-Aug-13 18:40:56

The parents sound disastrous. YANBU

Neo - definitely say something. Make a joke of it and say that coming to your house clearly scares his bowels into action. Insist that she takes him to the bathroom before she leaves. She can't avoid changing his nappy if she sits him on the loo for 5 minutes

japonicabumsplatt Thu 29-Aug-13 18:36:54

Erm. Overflow constipation? I would fear pooing too if the outcome might be a smack or ritual humiliation.
don't fancy the psychotherapy bills that young one is going to be facing later in life.
parents sound like twats to be honest

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Thu 29-Aug-13 18:32:20

Funny all this pee and poo talk. I have a friend who has a late training DS....he's almost 4 and in nappies still but he's getting the grip of toilets slowly....I babysit him and TWICE now she's dropped him off and then when I've said "Does he need a nappy change? I think I smell poo" she's legged it and denied it....I've then had to deal with a large boy's shitty nappy. angry

I am definitely saying something. She should change the poor liitle thing before she goes shouldn't she?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Thu 29-Aug-13 18:30:21

If she is only 3 then her parent should have gone in with her ffs! I'd never leavt my 3 year old alone in the loo in someone elese home!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Thu 29-Aug-13 18:29:17

YANBU. How old was the girl though? My DD has a friend aged NINE who regulalry leaves shit smears in the loo. Gross.

musicposy Thu 29-Aug-13 18:25:52

Oh I have a friend like this. Her children pee and poo all over everyone's bathrooms every single time they come round. Youngest is now 5 and eldest 8 - it's a little better than it used to be but they are still notoriously unreliable. We always ask our friend to go and clear it up and she does. But we get fed up with having to ask, if that makes sense. As they are so poor at bathroom useage I think one of their parents should check every single time.

The rest of us all have teens so I wonder if we have just got intolerant in our old age! But once when we went out the girl peed herself in the ball pool and when mum found out she just left quickly without informing anyone. I thought that was gross. Thank goodness mine are too old for ball pools!

WeileWeileWaile Thu 29-Aug-13 18:24:56

If she actually has overflow constipation, then she won't be able to tell when she needs to go - she needs the doctor.

She'll get impacted and have serious problems.

Are you in Ireland OP - is mum put off going to the doctors because of the cost? Or does she not think it's a problem?

barbsb Thu 29-Aug-13 18:21:08

I cant do that because in the family its known and accepted that she cant master toilet training. I asked the granny who minds her one day a week and she said " well yes most days she has an accident so i dont really bring her out, into town etc "

is this common in three year olds?

Floggingmolly Thu 29-Aug-13 18:14:21

Why don't you give her mum a call and ask how her dd is feeling, as it looked like she'd had an upset stomach at your house?
One loo is an accident, two is a ridiculous lack of supervision.

Floggingmolly Thu 29-Aug-13 18:11:33

She crapped all over both toilets? She should definitely have been supervised, that's gross sad

barbsb Thu 29-Aug-13 18:08:59

yeah at meal times its all " if i see you do that again i will smack you "-back to the seventies. I always thought this approach was crap, even when i was really young.

what a tangled web we weave..

but im not mom of the year ..

Flicktheswitch Thu 29-Aug-13 17:56:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

barbsb Thu 29-Aug-13 17:49:37

Forgot to add. I did not let them know. But I was seething. I put the one year old in his cot, he was not a happy bunny , my four year old kept asking me was I ok.Grimacing mommy=a bit scary

barbsb Thu 29-Aug-13 17:46:03

for clarification, she is three.

barbsb Thu 29-Aug-13 17:43:54

Jaysus you are all very posh round here, bowl/bowel. was that not a beautiful double-entendre?

Anyhoo, the kid poops her pants most days, i know this cos she pooped at a playcentre and i had the joys of cleaning that up. I think overflow constipation is the term!.

i did not have the conversation about shit ifo mt house guests, but im irish and we curse like sailors!!

I think the parents should have done a " safe and well check " on my loo after little madame, given she has a history of daily accidents.

In fairness to the little poppet I had to clean her before and she was morto. they put her on the naughty step when she has accident- lovely child, parents just dont get the whole toilet training thing.

Its kind of sad cos the mom was like " do you think she will ever get the hang of it " and i was thinking " not with you at the helm "

ChaosTrulyReigns Tue 27-Aug-13 11:40:54

The conversation that you had in front of guests regarding "shit" is the most disturbing part of this to me.

Not your finest hosting moment, I'll bet

Chottie - I didn't think that the OP was suggesting that her friends didn't know that their dd had been to the toilet - but it is perfectly possible that they knew she had been, but didn't know she had made a mess in there.

To be fair, if she is toilet trained, and has never made a mess like that before, they would have no reason to suspect she had made a mess this time.

It is clear that the OP meant toilet bowl, so maybe people could stop pointing and laughing at her typo - okay?

ViviPru Tue 27-Aug-13 11:32:32

Gip. YANBU. This is precisely the kind of thing that would happen to me, piss me right off and have me coming on AIBU to have a whingeup about. In fact I had to double take in case this was an old thread I'd written myself.

Previous fascinating AIBUs I have penned include Nappy Sacks in the Home Office Bin/Diarrhoea in our Paddling Pool/Piss up the Bathroom Wall. Thinking about it, our friends and associates are ANIMALS sad

HotCrossPun Tue 27-Aug-13 11:31:46

What age was the little girl?

Did you let them know what had happened or did you just go and clean it up?

Dumpylump Tue 27-Aug-13 11:28:28

Ds2 did this at a friends house once - went to the loo by himself, made a complete mess and then tried to clean it up by himself (he was about 4 at the time), it was horrendous!
However, friend and I were alerted by other older dcs, went through, recoiled....then I cleaned it all up properly. It took a little while, and there was a bit of gagging went on...but, my kid, my job!
Lovely friend had a big glass of wine ready for me when I'd finished!

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 27-Aug-13 11:27:15


We had an incident at a friend's house recently. DH was straight up to clear up bathroom. All fine, seemed like an almost made it accident.

Unfortunately then found out there had been some on the carpet in another room and no one had realised. Was completely mortified we had left it.

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