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to not want to go to an Indian resteraunt while suffering horrendous 'morning' (haha) sickness

(144 Posts)
Makqueen Mon 26-Aug-13 11:28:59

Dh parents arrived today. They love an Indian resteraunt near us and want to eat there everytime they visit. I usually love it too (I am half Indian but a crap cook so it's like a taste of childhood going there).

However, I am 9 weeks pregnant and puking round the clock. The only things I can eat (this week) are soggy cornflakes and for the past two days I am having trouble keeping anything down, sometimes even fluids.

I can't open my own fridge without gagging so the thought of sitting there smelling all those spices is filling me with dread.

I've told dh to go on his own with them tonight, but he won't as the evenings is when my sickness spikes (I passed out on the bathroom floor thur night), but I am gettin guilt tripped by all of them. They say they will miss out if we don't all go and won't get a takeaway as its not the same.

I don't want to ruin thier trip, but I can't go. They are saying I can just nibble on some rice. It's the smell, and the fact that I am exhausted and can't keep anything down.

The resteraunt only has one loo and I don't want to be hogging it.

God, I feel like shit and just want to sleep!

MidniteScribbler Mon 26-Aug-13 11:50:33

Good god, they are inhuman. It would be the last time they were permitted in my home until they learn how to be a human being.

WhereYouLeftIt Mon 26-Aug-13 11:52:08

What a bunch fof selfish fuckwitted bastards they are!!

I will give your DH the benefit of the doubt, and assume he doesn't ant to go with them as he doesn't want to leave you alone in case you need him (you mentioned passing out).

But I would still read the riot act to DH and tell him to get his bastarding parents off my case and behaving better towards me or they can just fuck off back home now.

Why in god's name are they even visiting now since you are so unwell?

EllesAngel Mon 26-Aug-13 11:52:55

They sound worse the more you post about them OP. Nasty, selfish people. Your DH needs to have a word with them about their behaviour.

Iamsparklyknickers Mon 26-Aug-13 11:52:56

Tell your DH to tell them to back the fuck off.

It doesn't matter that their next door neighbours, aunties, cousins, best friends, first teacher went sky diving at 12 weeks, neither of you give a shit.

They can keep their opinions to themselves because neither of you are interested, if they don't want to alienate and offend you both further they need to remember their manners and keep the dissection and moaning for afterwards when you don't have to listen to it.

I'm getting really annoyed on your behalf angry - they really need to be told they're being fucking rude, bullying and offensive. They're visiting your home, not on fucking holiday.

If they want none stop entertainment they need to fuck off to First Choice and book themselves a trip.

Abra1d Mon 26-Aug-13 11:53:30

Ask them what they would have thought public opinion would have been about Kate Middleton being dragged off to an Indian restaurant when she was suffering from pregnancy sickness.

Iamsparklyknickers Mon 26-Aug-13 11:55:42

Abra1d - I bet they were in the camp who thought she was being precious.

The camp that thinks 'it's actually none of my business' is unfortunately the quietest one around..

thebody Mon 26-Aug-13 11:56:03

and is your own mother near or aunty? if you were my dd or neice i I would be round there like a shot to face down the old cow bag.

I might give your dh a kick too.

I am in worsestershire if you need me and right in the mood for a bloody good row! 😄

NatashaBee Mon 26-Aug-13 11:57:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh god, I had HG myself and if one thing made me want to kill it was people saying " I just carried on as normal" - I don't think they understand that it isn't just mild nausea, it's constant 24-7 and it's utterly exhausting.

At this point I would say hormonal ranting is permitted. Remind them that you are seriously ill, vomit x times every single day. Can you remember a time when any of them had food poisoning? If so, remind them of it and how awful they felt, tell them to imagine they'd felt like that for x weeks and then point out they wouldn't have gone within a 10 metre radius of a bloody curry

On another note - give serious thought to getting medication. I had to take two different types at the same time with DD but it did help. In my case it was Cyclizine and Metaclopramide (sp probably!).

GlaikitFizzog Mon 26-Aug-13 12:00:38

Oh my god my blood pressure has just shot through the roof for you. Dh is a wimp, he should tell them to go on their own.

HorryIsUpduffed Mon 26-Aug-13 12:00:47

They should be annoyed with DH if anyone, not you.

I thought you were NBU from your OP, but after your sad update about mmc I'm even more sympathetic.

Would you rather be at home alone feeling sick? In that situation I'd rather DH fucked off went out and left me to it, and if he was entertaining the in-laws at the same time, so much the better.

I gather antiemetics are much better nowadays so please don't suffer in silence.

Makqueen Mon 26-Aug-13 12:01:55

Dhs parents have long been a bone of contention. He adores them. Honestly, it's a case of the apron strings having never been cut.

After the mmc things have changed, thank god - in that pregnancy I'd had a scan the week before the came down which showed a slightly slowed HB. The consultant told me to rest as much as I could, take good care of myself and to come back for another check in ten days. Dh was horrible about his parents visit, it was all "but my parents are coming" he was mailing me feel guilty and saying his parents meant more to him than a baby which wasn't born yet. He guilt tripped me into walikg around London for 8 fucking hours when I felt like I was going to drop down dead from exhaustion, so that they would be happy.

After the mmc I told him I wanted a divorce. He said things would change and he'd put me first. Tbf, he's not guilt tripped me at all about today, so he has changed, and he cant do enough for me in this pregnancy, he's taken over everything so I can rest.

But he'd never tell them to stop going on and he still wants them to be happy.

longjane Mon 26-Aug-13 12:02:52

Why can they not get a take away?

Iamsparklyknickers Mon 26-Aug-13 12:03:38

Pondering further on this, considering DH actually wants to support his wife, his parents are behaving even worse.

Why are they sulking enough to put him in the middle? I take it they're fit and well - they can entertain themselves surely?


Makqueen Mon 26-Aug-13 12:03:51

Dh doesn't see them as much as her like - they visit every 5/6 weeks for a weekend. So when they are here he wants to spend as muh time with them as possible and I feel he resents me for getting in the way of that.

Yanbu - at all. I had terrible sickness to the point of hospitalisation in both pregnancies and many smells set me off but currry was the absolute worse. If dp wanted it, he had to go by himself or get a takeaway and eat it in the park, and then go for a swim, a shower and to clean his teeth before he came home!

The anti-sickness tablets didn't help me either tbh. I'd be sick before they could get into my system. And when I was hospitalised and given the injections instead (can't throw up an injection!) I had an allergic reaction. Not fun!

Tell dp that you are going to bed. He can entertain them or they can go out. It's not your problem.

The only thing that helped me even a little bit was sucking on lemonade or orange ice lollies. Worth a try? Not sure if you can even still buy lemonade ice lollies though.

You poor thing. It is horrible.

GlaikitFizzog Mon 26-Aug-13 12:04:28

But he is guilt tripping you by not standing up to them.

Seriously, you asked for a divorce after the mmc (quite likely), I would remind him of that tbh. He promised you he would look after you, this isn't looking after.

Loobylou123 Mon 26-Aug-13 12:05:52

Oh dear, am I right in thinking you posted a little while ago about them making these plans? It's horrible no one has listened to your needs. Bravo Mil and Sil for carrying on but maybe they were just pregnant not ill. You are actually pregnant AND ill. She is actually being very inconsiderate and unsupportive in belittling how you are feeling. Hypemesis whatever it's called is a pregnancy related illness. I think resolve it what is needed. You are NOT going out. If they want to go then so be it but do not feel guilty about putting yourself and your little one first. Get rid of them and curl up on the sofa with whatever trashy film you can't get enough of and whatever refreshments stay down longer than 5 minutes smile

mypavlova Mon 26-Aug-13 12:08:08

Indian is my absolute favorite, but when I was expecting I couldn't abide even the thought of it. Don't fight against the aversion. They need to make allowance.

WitchOfEndor Mon 26-Aug-13 12:08:43

I think you should go, but make sure you don't make it to the bathroom and puke on MIL instead.

GlaikitFizzog Mon 26-Aug-13 12:08:43

Remus, r whites do lemonade ice lollies!

Iamsparklyknickers Mon 26-Aug-13 12:08:53

Urgh - being happy does not mean kowtowing to their every whim. As a group of adults (related or not) compromising and taking peoples needs into consideration is a normal thing to do.

Strong arming people into doing what you want is selfish and rude.

That doesn't help at all, I realise that, I just can't bare grown men and women sulking, especially when it's to someones detriment.

Why they're insisting on dragging you along when you've made it clear they're all very welcome to carry on without you is absolutely ridiculous - What exactly do they think you're going to get out of it or add to it? Are they just looking for more excuses to point out how fabulously they coped with pregnancy?

TheSmallPrint Mon 26-Aug-13 12:09:26

You should go and then puke over their plates - that'll learn them. grin.

Sorry, not helpful. I also suffered with an incredibly sensitive sense of smell for the first four months of pregnancy and any strong smell made me heave. I was particularly affected by leather which was bad as we had a leather sofa and leather seats in the car! My only option was to shove tissue up my nostrils to avoid gagging anytime we went out in the car. Is there anyway you can do this subtly? If not then just point blank refuse.

Loobylou123 Mon 26-Aug-13 12:09:27

Crikey, after further reading I think your DH should tell them how ill you actually are, apologise and send them home. Then maybe a trip to your hospital pre natal ward if they have one for done reassurance and fluids!

Where are you OP? We'll bring a load of lemonade ice lollies round and tell your pils to leave you alone!

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