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to not want to go to an Indian resteraunt while suffering horrendous 'morning' (haha) sickness

(144 Posts)
Makqueen Mon 26-Aug-13 11:28:59

Dh parents arrived today. They love an Indian resteraunt near us and want to eat there everytime they visit. I usually love it too (I am half Indian but a crap cook so it's like a taste of childhood going there).

However, I am 9 weeks pregnant and puking round the clock. The only things I can eat (this week) are soggy cornflakes and for the past two days I am having trouble keeping anything down, sometimes even fluids.

I can't open my own fridge without gagging so the thought of sitting there smelling all those spices is filling me with dread.

I've told dh to go on his own with them tonight, but he won't as the evenings is when my sickness spikes (I passed out on the bathroom floor thur night), but I am gettin guilt tripped by all of them. They say they will miss out if we don't all go and won't get a takeaway as its not the same.

I don't want to ruin thier trip, but I can't go. They are saying I can just nibble on some rice. It's the smell, and the fact that I am exhausted and can't keep anything down.

The resteraunt only has one loo and I don't want to be hogging it.

God, I feel like shit and just want to sleep!

eurochick Mon 26-Aug-13 11:31:12

Your husband is being unreasonable. He should go with his parents and stop making a fuss about it.

EllesAngel Mon 26-Aug-13 11:31:35

YANBU They are being selfish.

RobotHamster Mon 26-Aug-13 11:31:40

Of course you aren't being unreasonable! They can miss out on their curry for one visit. Hopefully next time they come down you'll be over the MS and you can all go.

Don't be pushed into it - why can't they just go by themselves?

MrsRoss26 Mon 26-Aug-13 11:32:13

YADNBU. They should not be pressuring you into going. As it's so regular an event they'll hardly be missing out, will they? Please stick to your guns and stay home!

Bunbaker Mon 26-Aug-13 11:34:17

Just say that you don't feel up to it and you don't want to ruin their meal by throwing up on the table.

HearMyRoar Mon 26-Aug-13 11:34:29

Wild horses would not have dragged me to an Indian restaurant when I had morning sickness. Like you mine was worst in the evening and usually the most I could manage was some oat cakes and pretzels. Just the thought of it would have had me weeping with horror.

Tell them to go without you or get over it. I am sure they would survive just this once.

RobotHamster Mon 26-Aug-13 11:34:33

"stop making me feel guilty for not being able to go tonight, I can't help being this sick. I'm not deliberately ruining your plans, but if I'm going to spend the evening being sick I'd rather be in my own home thanks"

Your DP shouldn't go either,esp if you're so ill you passed our the other day.

Selfish fucks

GlaikitFizzog Mon 26-Aug-13 11:35:09

I would just say "hello, growing a baby here, do you think I care about you having a flicking curry" and if you can manage it puke on their shoes at the same time for added emphasis!

What can pil go on their own if its so god damn special and necessary to them?

CatsWearingTutus Mon 26-Aug-13 11:35:19

Tell them if you go there is a very good chance you will lose control and get sick all over the table when the food arrives. That should put them off their plan!

Makqueen Mon 26-Aug-13 11:35:35

They were giving me daggers and saying they will just miss out if I'm not up to it. MIL the. Started on about how she and SIL just carried on as normal when pregnant.

I'm typing this from the bathroom floor as there is little point in me leaving the room at the moment. I feel truly awful all day, everyday with no let up.

I have a much older ds and had HG in that pregnancy, so I've been here before and it's not nice.

PrincessFlirtyPants Mon 26-Aug-13 11:36:10

YANBU, does your DH want to stay home and look after you? If so, that's lovely. Why can't you IL's go out for dinner on their own?!

GilmoursPillow Mon 26-Aug-13 11:36:38

eurochick her DH isn't being unreasonable, he doesn't want to leave her in the evenings because she said she passed out one evening through sickness.

And no OP, you're not being unreasonable.

WillYouDoTheFandango Mon 26-Aug-13 11:36:56

YANBU you have offered alternatives, they go without you or get a takeaway, and they won't accept them. That's their lookout but refuse to be drawn anymore. Next time they ask tell them I've explained why that's not possible and then change the subject or retreat to the upstairs and leave them to it. What sort of arsehole behaves like this when you're clearly so ill?

thanks For you and I hope you feel better soon.

GlaikitFizzog Mon 26-Aug-13 11:37:02

And do they realise when baby arrives its unlikely you will be taking them out for a curry on every visit! In fact, if they are always this selfish, I would refuse visits unless they stay in a b&b

thebody Mon 26-Aug-13 11:37:14

good grief!!! of course they all either don't go or just your inlaws without your dh. if you are passing out then you shouldn't be alone.

of course you shouldn't go. to be honest you puking up isn't going to do it for the other customers or the reputation if the restaurant. stay home.

SparkyTGD Mon 26-Aug-13 11:37:53

YANBU, definitely! Don't go.

Have you tried any anti-sickness meds? I had hyperemesis when pregnant with DS and eventually couldn't even drink fluids, the rubbish OOH Nurse gave me anti-sickness tablets, which of course I puked up!

Ended up in hospital on a drip & anti-sickness suppositories (ewww, I know but they worked grin) helped after that. So much so that when we went out for indian meal one night, I puked on the pavement on the way there, went into a pub loo to use my 'medicine' and was happily eating a curry 30mins later!

If you find yourself this bad, get to GP.

Hope you feeling better soon.

PrincessFlirtyPants Mon 26-Aug-13 11:38:04

Well, isn't that lovely for SIL and her! angry

GlaikitFizzog Mon 26-Aug-13 11:39:36

AND (sorry op, but I feel very strongly about this) every pregnancy is different! Lucky mil and sil they didn't have any issues.
Selfish selfish selfish.

How dare they make you feel like this in your own home. Kick them out and kick dh in the arse. If you can't leave the bathroom, I'll come round and do it for you!! grin flowers

Ragwort Mon 26-Aug-13 11:39:36

You DH needs to grow a pair, speak firmly to his parents, tell them that he and they are going out so that you can have some peace and quiet to vomit . I can't believe they are all being so unpleasant to you. Don't invite them to stay again if this is how they behave.

Why on earth can't they go with your DH (most ILs wouldn't care about leaving a DIL behind grin) or own their own if they like the restaurant so much?

SparkyTGD Mon 26-Aug-13 11:40:32

Cross posted OP, you will know what to look out for with HG.

MidniteScribbler Mon 26-Aug-13 11:41:02

This is a perfect example of why the phrase "fuck off to the far side of fuck and go fuck yourselves" was invented.

Iamsparklyknickers Mon 26-Aug-13 11:41:29

Next time your MIL starts wittering on about her pregnancies being sooo easy offer her a "well done" with a raised eyebrow hmm

Balls to them - you've offered up compromises and now they're sulking. Tell them to go on their own if it's going to ruin their visit that much - but you're done talking about it - it's a fricking curry and will still be available in 9 months. It's not their last meal.

heidihole Mon 26-Aug-13 11:44:58


I've passed that stage now (16 weeks) but not so long ago I couldn't open the fridge, couldnt cook, couldnt eat and would rather slit my wrists than go to an indian restaurant.

Your husband needs a huge dose of understanding...or preferably food poisoning so he knows where you're coming from!

Makqueen Mon 26-Aug-13 11:46:43

I was in hospital regularly after week ten in my first pregnancy as I kept getting dehydrated. But they wouldn't give me any mess. Well, one would but scared me so much about possible birth defects that I struggled on. I was sick until ds turned up at 37 weeks.

Dh has just come in to say he should go out with them.

They are STILL going on about it. They are pissed off because they want to spend the day in our city and I can't go, they are pissed off because dh doesn't want to leave me for the whole day.

They are normally reasonable people.

The last time I was pregnant earlier this year I had a MMC. I was feeling like this, but I dragged myself round London for the day with them, then Went for a bloody curry (I was sick all night) and I felt awful for the next three days. Started having cramps, had a scan and the baby was dead. So that is always in the back of my mind, I often wondered if I pushed myself too much that day when I was exhausted sad

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