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AIBU to think this is quite bitchy behaviour or am I just being over-sensitive?

(136 Posts)
BrokenLullaby Sun 25-Aug-13 21:17:09

We had quite nice weather last week so a friend arranged for her, me and two other friends to meet up at a local pub for a drink after work.

We all live in the same town but they live very close together so they would have arranged to walk down together. I got there a little late as I have quite a long way to drive from work, had already told friend I could be late depending on traffic.

Anyway when I got there I assumed they would be sat outside, I drove by but couldn't see them and there was quite a lot of people there. This is going to sound pathetic but I'm not a very confident person and I don't like just walking into places by myself (silly I admit) so I thought I would ring them to make sure they were there.

Rang friend A - no answer, rang friend B - no answer, rang friend B again she picked up told me where they were and I went in to meet them. The signal is quite rubbish in that area so I didn't think anything of it.

Yesterday I went over to friend C's house for coffee and I was told that when I rang friend A she looked at her phone and went "why is she ringing me?" hmm and then purposely didn't answer her phone.

When I rang friend B's phone, friend A said "Friend B don't answer it". When I rang again Friend C pretty much said - "what the hell is the problem just answer the phone" - which is the only reason my friend B did.

I was quite upset by it because if I could see them I wouldn't have been sat in my car trying to ring them I would have just gone straight over to them. And if it was the other way around I wouldn't have even hesitated answering my friends call - it would have been a non-issue.

Aibu to think Friend A's behaviour was quite bitchy and to a certain extent so was Friend B's or am I just being ridiculously over sensitive about it all?

ViviPru Mon 26-Aug-13 18:23:40

Interesting the OP STILL hasn't expanded on the nature of the conversation with friend C in spite of so many posters asking her to....

Therealamandaclarke Mon 26-Aug-13 15:58:22

Good points married and * thumb*

garlicbargain Mon 26-Aug-13 15:41:16

Thumb grin

Thumbwitch Mon 26-Aug-13 15:21:55

It's a funny thing, but if someone wonders why someone else if phoning them, then USUALLY the sanest thing to do is answer their phone to find out, not ignore it and tell another person to ignore theirs too...

alemci Mon 26-Aug-13 15:10:27

thanks garlic. I get you now

marriedinwhiteisback Mon 26-Aug-13 15:01:25

Thinking about this and having read your OP again. You were coming from work (do they work? Have jobs as good as yours?). You live on the other side of town (is it the nicer part of town). There are bits of your life that sound different to yours. Suddenly gets a whiff of the green eyed monster.

Move on OP. I know it's hard to make new friends bt it's not so hard to take up new interests and they lead to meeting new people. You deserve better than what sound like hubble bubble, toil and trouble.

garlicbargain Mon 26-Aug-13 14:24:12

Almeci -

YouStayClassySanDiego Mon 26-Aug-13 14:09:22

I want to know how C brought the subject up about A not answering her phone and why it was brought up..

alemci Mon 26-Aug-13 13:44:40

what is a Wendy type. BTW my name isn't Wendy but most one's that I know are very pleasant and unassuming.

Therealamandaclarke Mon 26-Aug-13 12:26:30

And yes to He11y I think I would do that if I were waiting for a friend.
But I am not A, B, or C.

Therealamandaclarke Mon 26-Aug-13 12:23:45

Nd if they had seen her park it would mean they knew she hadn't been held up elsewhere. It meant they (or at least A) were being "funny" about her ringing.
Which is why I said I thought it wasn't nice.

He11y Mon 26-Aug-13 12:22:13

If I saw a friend pull up and park, I'd either tty and get their attention through the windows, head for the entrance to meet them if the meeting place was large or text her to say where we were.

All my friends would do the same.

I'd be wary of them all, especially friend C as you didn't need to know that.

If I was friend C and didn't agree with their behaviour, I'd just make sure I text you or I'd go and get you next time, rather than stir trouble and make you feel bad.

It's definitely not your problem - what you did is perfectly acceptable.

Therealamandaclarke Mon 26-Aug-13 12:21:28

yalleyofthedolls I didn't say that I think it was precious and demanding. I don't Ctually.
But it would explain A's refusal to take the call. I suspect she may feel that, based on the op.

DontmindifIdo Mon 26-Aug-13 11:57:06

If I was you, I'd ask B what happened, C might be stirring, or trying to warn you A was being a cow - but B could have easily answered her phone herself.

toomanyfionas Mon 26-Aug-13 11:56:10

It is quite simple. Your "friends" are unkind to you. You can let them carry on or you can look for better friends. All this she said stuff is just silly, real friends don't behave like that.

HollaAtMeBaby Mon 26-Aug-13 11:45:10

OK, OP, I am sorry. If you don't have a history of needing hand-holding and were just ringing to see if they were there yet, your friends are mean! Or at least A and C are. So YANBU.

Iamsparklyknickers Mon 26-Aug-13 11:36:57

I don't think OP is being needy and I think A and B sound a bit tapped. It's not unusual to give people a quick ring to find out where they are - hell I've been in one half of a group ringing the other to save wandering around. Personally I always text if I'm there first to let people know where abouts I am - is that weird then?

I'm not entirely convinced that friend C needed to tell you what was said, but I think I would be interested enough now to press her about it and why she felt I needed to know. Take it all with a pinch of salt but if you should have reason to be wary of A or C I would rather have the information (especially if I was planning on staying friends with them all) than not.

princesspeabody Mon 26-Aug-13 11:26:44

Double edged sword...

Bit mean of them to ignore you but equally you could do with just taking a deep breath and walking into a pub on your own. We all feel a bit uncomfortable but it's really not that hard.

I would be giving all of them a wide berth if I were you though.

Awomansworth Mon 26-Aug-13 11:14:43

If they saw you park then surely they knew you were ringing to check which part of the place they were in to save you wandering around. Quite normal behaviour given the size of it.

Not very good friends IMO.

YalleyoftheDolls87 Mon 26-Aug-13 11:09:08

Did I read that they could see you had parked?

Surely that doesn't matter? If I saw my friend drive in and then ring me, I'd still answer the phone and I wouldn't tell anyone else not to answer the phone either.

If the OP had seen them and then rung yes they would be strange but she obviously didn't.

Silverfoxballs Mon 26-Aug-13 11:06:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YalleyoftheDolls87 Mon 26-Aug-13 10:58:23

precious and demanding

Lol I've heard it all now.

It's precious and demanding to ask a friend if they are already there? confused

How some of you actually have friends is very bewildering. You see what you view to be a flaw and rip it apart like some sort of vulture.

How lovely it must be to be so perfect.

YouStayClassySanDiego Mon 26-Aug-13 10:56:04

How did C start the conversation regarding the phone call when you went to her house for coffee?

Lazyjaney Mon 26-Aug-13 10:54:24

You know I try and take the answers on here gracefully because I asked the question in the first place. What does it bloody matter if I rang to see if friends were already there yet

Because the whole situation only makes sense if they were irritated by you, and not its clear why they were irritated but one explanation that works is that you have form for ringing unecessarily and they don't like it.

Or they did no such thing and friend C is lying and trying to turn you against A.

Or the explanation is something else entirely.

but, speaking only for myself, if I saw a friend drive into the pub carpark and then ring me I'd be a bit WTF, and if they did it every time I would probably get a bit fed up.

Bumblequeen Mon 26-Aug-13 10:34:10

This is why I avoid being part of a large group and choose to meet friends one on one where possible. The occasions where I have met in a large group I hated it.

I know someone who has a big circle of female friends. At first I deemed her lucky until I realised that every week or two, there is an issue with something one said or did to another. I could not cope with this.

Usually, though not always if friends are happy to slag off/put down another friend with you then they will do it about you. I watch what people say about others they are close to and decide if they are someone I can trust and want in my life.

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