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Is this tradition still about??

(95 Posts)
OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 10:51:18

my dm rang before, becuase I said I haven't put much thought into getting my bridesmaids presents, and she rang up to say . well they need one really, so she said she'd get something.

And to talk to my florist mate as the Mothers b/g get a bouquet on the day???
I've never seen this???
Aibu to think this must not happen anymore much?

Floggingmolly Mon 26-Aug-13 14:33:50

Why on earth do your mum and MIL need to co-ordinate in the photos??
It won't "look better" at all. Why not make everyone wear a uniform and be done with it? Something dead classy like Team Octopus" t-shirts maybe?

marriedinwhiteisback Mon 26-Aug-13 13:39:38

You told your mum and mil what colour to wear !!!!!! I know times have changed but that's awful - they need to wear what they feel happy wearing.

valiumredhead Mon 26-Aug-13 12:36:10

I did read the thread. The OP asked if this was tradition or not. It IS tradition, whether you choose to follow it or not is entirely up to you.

thegreylady Mon 26-Aug-13 10:05:07

The groom gives gifts to the bridesmaids etc. As mum I have been given jewellery twice, flowers twice and nothing once :-)

SHarri13 Mon 26-Aug-13 09:58:05

The bridesmaids got a necklace that they wore on the day but we didn't do bouquets for the mothers (3 as I have step one in there too). We did get the three sets of parents gifts though, restaurant vouchers for two and a print for their wall for another. A present for them both to enjoy.

OctopusPete8 Mon 26-Aug-13 08:18:13

lol I'm not even remotely a diva, esp. with BM's I've had to be tougher in order to get things done.

my mum/mil maybe.....I advised told them to buy a certain colour so they would look better and more co-ordinated in the photos . grin

SilverApples Mon 26-Aug-13 07:52:02

DD has several small pieces of jewellery from her bridesmaiding days.

lastnightiwenttomanderleyagain Mon 26-Aug-13 07:37:18

I gave the BMs earrings and DH gave the best men pocket watches (bit of a family tradition - DH wears his a lot but then he does wear a three piece suit well --skinny git--)

For our mums we adapted the tradition slightly and gave them a David Austin rose each. They each send us photo texts when they're in bloom! There are normally enough spare flowers drifting around after weddings anyway (people were instructed to.leave with our centerpieces which were vases of roses) so we wanted to give them something that would last a bit.

raisah Mon 26-Aug-13 00:53:55

Yes, it is mainly to say thank you to all the kind souls who had put up with your diva behaviour! I got my mum a sari & my b/ms jewellery from this place called Bees.

BackforGood Mon 26-Aug-13 00:18:03

If you read the thread Valium - you will see that there is no always about it. It's quite common, but certainly not "always". In fact, thinking about it, the two wedding Receptions I went to last year, it didn't happen at either.

valiumredhead Sun 25-Aug-13 23:41:41

Yes,the mums always get flowers.

OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 23:39:45

would wine be better than flowers?

Xmasbaby11 Sun 25-Aug-13 23:33:31

Yes - flowers to both mothers. Gifts to bridesmaids. It doesn't have to be anything huge. I bought mine necklaces and wrote them cards thanking them. It's a keepsake of the day and a thank you for taking part.

OhDearNigel Sun 25-Aug-13 23:00:49

I work in a hotel and I've never seen a wedding where the Mums didn't get bouquets

OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 22:50:35

The idea of my mum buying flowers , that I end up giving back to her grinning inanely is hilarious grin.

OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 22:49:31

I'm getting thankyou cards for all guests anyway. well day guests.
some good ideas here.

selsigfach Sun 25-Aug-13 21:52:55

Both mums had to stay over and travel for our wedding. I arranged for flowers to be sent to my mum when she got home. my mum had helped loads financially, decorating etc. MIL offered no help whatsoever and grumbled about the date - how could she possibly get a room in August? I didn't get her any flowers as a thank you as she hadn't done anything to say thank you for.

liquidstate Sun 25-Aug-13 21:31:00

I just wrapped up the bridesmaids necklaces (£3 in the sale from M&S) that they were to wear on the day and wrote a nice card for them.

For the mums I didn't get bouquets because we had a lot of fresh flowers at the venue which they took with them the next day. Instead I ordered a plant for the garden called 'wedding day' which cost £8 and arrived nicely wrapped.

But honestly don't feel you have to get anything if you don't have the funds. A lovely card would be enough.

LondonInHighHeeledBoots Sun 25-Aug-13 21:15:23

I'm giving my bms their jewellery as their present, and for the mothers we are dispatching an usher to boots with an sd card with a nice photo of us and the mother in question and putting them into nice frames and that will be their present. totally pinched this idea from a wedding I went to a while ago!

I think we'll also send my parents on a nice holiday after as they've done si much for it all. mil hasn't so she just gets the photo.

mrspremise Sun 25-Aug-13 21:04:41

I think sometimes more effort is put into the wedding than the marriage. Just saying... but today I found out that another couple I know (who had a huge blow out wedding) are splitting up. Maybe I am just feeling sad...

Mumsyblouse Sun 25-Aug-13 20:59:38

I think it all depends what type of wedding you are having, if it's a fairly traditional one then these type of things (gifts, favours, flowers for mums) might be expected. My wedding wasn't anything like that, very simple, few family and no bridesmaids, and it was the best day ever. If your mum is expecting the flowers, perhaps no big deal to get them, but this type of thing is exactly why I'm glad I did it the very casual way in which we departed from so many traditions, it didn't really matter.

OctopusPete8 Sun 25-Aug-13 20:45:33

Being young doesn't automatically mean that you aren't expected to do things op!- you've misunderstood me, I mean by being young I have not had the influx of friends getting married so both my guests and I are to the naiive end of how weddings work inside out, which also ties into my guest comment, I can guarantee most of mine won't get it. I'm 23 btw so still v. young.

TheBookofRuth Sun 25-Aug-13 18:40:54

I had pearl pendants and hair clips hand-made for my bridesmaids to wear on the day, which they kept afterwards as their gifts. They also kept the dresses.

My mum, MIL and step-MIL all got a bouquet of flowers.

Justforlaughs Sun 25-Aug-13 18:39:38

My DS paid for all the make up that was used on the day in our make overs and we got to keep it. Also flowers for Mums.
At my wedding, I bought personal gifts for bridemaids and Mums (not flowers)
My DSil, bought necklaces for bridesmaids to wear on the day and they got to keep them.
You don't HAVE to do it, it's up to you. Some brides still go with the "wear something old, new, borrowed, blue", I didn't - MY choice!

ChoudeBruxelles Sun 25-Aug-13 18:31:57

I got the bridesmaids a necklace each. I bought my parents a present as they had been brilliant. Didn't get the ils anything as they were completely unhelpful

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