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To wonder why it takes men more than 5 minutes to have a poo??

(90 Posts)
natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 10:48:19

Just that really. If you need one enough to go to the loo surely it shouldn't take that long?!?! (Obviously I'm not including people with bowel conditions in this). grin

Nanny0gg Sat 24-Aug-13 10:49:22

It takes as long as it takes.

And it also depends on how good the book is that you're reading at the time...

SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious Sat 24-Aug-13 10:49:44

Takes me longer than that. I just sit for as long as possible and enjoy the peace grin

livinginwonderland Sat 24-Aug-13 10:50:02

Because most men and me read on the toilet.

PoppyWearer Sat 24-Aug-13 10:50:31

You need to deploy a toddler to bang on the door, open the door, climb on his lap....tends to speed up the whole process IME! grin

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 10:50:51

That's just it! The man in question has been in there for 15 minutes. Not even any reading material. No funny business as far as I know. Haha! All my male house mates in the past have been the same, it's like a major event!

TheFillyjonk Sat 24-Aug-13 10:51:21

I had a bit of a minging ex who used to say that he (and other men) really enjoy the feeling of having a poo, and like to savour it.

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 10:51:54

Ooh Poppy I have a not quite 2 year old poised for that exact job! Great idea! I need to go and get my bloody nails done - hurry up!! grin

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 10:52:30

Filly you've worried me now!

GetStuffezd Sat 24-Aug-13 10:52:53

I've never understood why anyone would want to linger on the toilet, breathing in their own shit-stink. Vile.

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 10:53:44


AuntieStella Sat 24-Aug-13 10:54:54

It's the sit/stand thing.

Women sit each time they go to the loo, and just poo when one announces itself and they're in position. Men have to actually think about it separately and so have different cues, which may mean longer in actual delivery.

MissMalteser Sat 24-Aug-13 10:54:55

I take ages too! Tmi but my poo can be likened to childbirth, you have the pre poo, the main event,then a few minutes later the afterpoo smile

FieryChipotle Sat 24-Aug-13 10:56:13

DH goes three times a day for 30 minutes at a time. I just do not get it!

And yes! Who would want to sit there and breathe in their shit stink?!

TheFillyjonk Sat 24-Aug-13 10:58:02

Yes, it worries me too. Especially when he mentioned the prostate. <passes round the brain bleach>

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 10:58:40

Ah I've just heard the flush. Surely it should only be 2 minutes now...

badguider Sat 24-Aug-13 10:58:42

If i'm really stressed and busy then I run into the loo and pee in five seconds and never really 'tune into' the needing a poo feeling, I can put off pooing all day easily but that ultimately leads to constipation. So instead I make sure I sit down to poo each morning after breakfast.

I think that if more women did this there wouldn't be such a huge market for laxatives for women and such a big thing about 'bloating' for women.

lottiegarbanzo Sat 24-Aug-13 11:00:47

Filly is right - biological fact.

TMI alert - men have sensitivity around their prostate gland, which is situated next to part of their back passage. So, they feel pleasure during pooing, anal sex, or by having a finger up their bum during sex, that women do not.

Why that means it take longer, I don't know. You need one, it comes out (unless you have a low fibre diet). But it may mean they have more of a sense of anticipation and see it more of an event, so like to take their seats early!

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 11:01:04

Still in there...

natwebb79 Sat 24-Aug-13 11:02:03

grin At 'like to take their seats early'.

BillStickersIsInnocent Sat 24-Aug-13 11:02:16

Agree badguider. I've got a few issues after a 3a tear with Dc2. My physiotherapist says I need to take plenty of time, ignore the children, relax and go regularly so I don't get constipated. Apparently lots of problems are caused by women putting it off and not going at work.

Like many things I'm trying to think and act like a man in this matter grin

TylerHopkins Sat 24-Aug-13 11:03:08

There is always the possibility they've gone in there for a wank too.

AuntieStella Sat 24-Aug-13 11:03:17

Filly's observation is the root of the old adage "there's nothing as overrated as bad sex and nothing as underrated as a good shit"

lottiegarbanzo Sat 24-Aug-13 11:04:43

There must be quite a it of personal variation because while i sort of understand Badguider's point, if I need one, I need one, pretty much immediately. The idea of 'going for a poo' when I don't already need one, is very odd to me. They arrive when they're ready! Fibre and exercise help with both regularity and immediacy I think.

MrsGSR Sat 24-Aug-13 11:06:14

My DH plays games on his phone, he can be in there for well over half an hour!

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