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To want to sleep in same bed as ds forever

(109 Posts)
Pinkpinot Sat 24-Aug-13 00:38:27

Well, until he doesn't want to anymore
He's nearly 6
We've been away for a lot of the holidays, so shared a bed
He's so lovely and snuggly
And still wants to cuddle his mummy
Even though he's told me he hates me a couple of times this week sad

Pinkpinot Sat 24-Aug-13 07:42:58

Yes I have dh, would rather sleep with ds
Dh came in at 3am, probably stinking
AgentZZ-he tells me he loves me 50 times more than he hates me. Don't worry

Dobbiesmum Sat 24-Aug-13 07:49:08

It's fabulous to snuggle up in bed, until they starfish and pinch all the duvet. Then they get moved back. The night DS got in with us, rolled himself in the double duvet and then OFF the bed looking like a sausage roll was the night we decided that he could come in for morning snuggles but not in the middle of the night!

autumn51 Sat 24-Aug-13 07:50:47

Yanbu snuggles are lovely!

Pancakeflipper Sat 24-Aug-13 07:53:42

I woke up to find DS1 age 8 in my bed. He'd dropped his Lego model down the loo after a wee and it needed retrieving after having a comforting "it will be ok, I will sort it" cuddle.

My cat is obviously needy and clingy as he spends the night wandering from my bed, to DS1, to DS2 and repeats several times.

Theironfistofarkus Sat 24-Aug-13 07:56:43

I have all 3 DC in with me. I work full time so this is my close time. I love it. Is getting a bit squashy though so am drooling over the mega size beds on the Internet.

BadgersNadgers Sat 24-Aug-13 08:08:29

I love having the boys in bed and would sleep with them every night - DH is not so keen though. We have cuddles in bed every morning and I never want that to end. DS1 just started in P1 and is a bit wobbly so he's asking for loads of cuddles and handholding and I'm secretly delighted.

Cloudkitten Sat 24-Aug-13 08:13:26

Pinkpinot... not to go all psychological on you but does DS make up some the affection that maybe DH doesn't give at the moment? Sometimes, I have noticed with friends, when a relationship is not going well, or is going through a rough patch, people turn the space in their hearts normally reserved for partners, over to the children, because they feel they are getting a better return from the children, and/or it's a safer outlet for their affections. Really (ideally, healthily) you should want to share a bed with your DH forever not your DS (I know it was tongue in cheek, but I mean the sentiment behind it). Even with raising the light-hearted AIBU, you are still subconsciously looking for validation and comfirmation that pouring the love that might normally be reserved for your DH into your DS instead, is right and/or common.

Personally no matter how much I love my DCs and don't mind them occasionally in the bed, the bed is mine and DH's space. I am very lucky to have a healthy relationship with DH, but I am very aware of common flashpoints like not allowing children "access all areas". Parents need downtime away being a couple and often the only time you get that is either in bed or in the later evenings. It is good to preserve that ideally.

FobblyWoof Sat 24-Aug-13 08:19:16

DD is 18 mo and she won't sleep between us anymore. I really miss it but I think that's partly because if she wakes in the night and won't settle one of us has to go downstairs with her!

Cat98 Sat 24-Aug-13 08:20:56

YANBU but I only have a 5 year old. Ask me again when he's a hulking teenager!

DelayedActionMouseMaker Sat 24-Aug-13 08:22:18

I have a 3.5 yr old who still sleeps in with me. Until recently DH was in the spare room (mutual choice, no reflection on our happy and stable and loving marriage) but he's just rejoined us again.

He said the other day that he thinks ds should be in his own room, but we waited with dd til she asked for her own room (at 4yrs) and we have never ever had a problem with her with nightmares, bet wetting or going to bed, so he's been reminded of that and said ds should stay til he's ready....though I think if he's still here by the time he wants sleepovers we'll have to out out foot down! grin

Floatsyourboat Sat 24-Aug-13 08:24:17

I have always got into bed and cuddled my kids at night during a bedtime story and they aren't clingy but my step kids don't get bed time stories or lots of cuddles and they really are very clingy with me when they come to stay hmmm they never wanna go home either but that's another story.

pianodoodle Sat 24-Aug-13 08:25:09

We'd never had DD (26 months) in bed with us until we visited family and she kept wanting out of the travel cot.

I can see how people get used to it - it was lovely!

Didn't get much more sleep than usual though as I lay awake stroking her fluffy baby-bath scented head - lush smile

Ledkr Sat 24-Aug-13 08:26:17

Dd is 11 and still sleeps with me when dh is on nights.
It's our special time and we love it.
Dd2 is not so welcome as she likes to kick me in the face or stomach. She can remain in her cot!

feelinlucky Sat 24-Aug-13 08:28:35

My ds is 11 and I still have to battle with him to go into his own bed, although he is much better. I used to feel the exact same way as you op. I loved nothing more than having my snuggly little man next to me but it is different when they get older. Ahw, I feel sad about that sad He had his first zit last week and took great pride in showing it to me. I had to stop myself from getting upset. They grow up so fast. You just snuggle away for as long as you can smile

sparklingstars Sat 24-Aug-13 08:31:06

Make the most of it, my two never give me hugs unless they are using it as a delaying tactic to avoid doing something.

tholeon Sat 24-Aug-13 08:31:46

Gave dd 19 months her water cup at four am this morning.. Woke up half an hour later to find it being poured in my ear: lovely!

MissBeehiving Sat 24-Aug-13 08:33:14

My 9 year old DS still wants cuddles. Long may it continue. Too clingy, my arse.

Crowler Sat 24-Aug-13 08:34:54

My 7 & 10 year old are in the bed with me all the time. I love it and dread the day they stop.


Pinkpinot Sat 24-Aug-13 08:46:03

Yes Cloudkitten

Cloudkitten Sat 24-Aug-13 08:59:16

I'm sorry to hear that Pinkpinot sad Is there any means of repair? Is the drinking (I am presuming its drinking) just a patch/intermittent or somewhat more of a permanent thing? In the past my DH went through a phase of going out and getting <slightly> more trollied than was acceptable/normal (he cannot take his drinks) and it was not very pleasant. I found myself utterly irritated by it/him at that time so I know a little of how it feels x

hardboiledpossum Sat 24-Aug-13 09:01:17

Cloud i have a great relationship with my dp and we have lots of time alone as a couple. I still love Ds coming for middle of the night cuddles.

Pinkpinot Sat 24-Aug-13 09:03:00

Last night had been planned for a whole
I'm just fed up , bored and lonely. He does what he wants

KFFOREVER Sat 24-Aug-13 09:15:38

I love cuddling up to 5month ds but he seems to prefer rolling around in bed rather than snuggle up to me. We have a lifetime of snuggling up to our dp's but our babies grow up too quickly.

Buzzardbird Sat 24-Aug-13 09:16:34

You are not alone pink. At least your ds will benefit too from some extra love and cuddles...that's how I see it anyway. It helps. *thanks

Bunnygotwhacked Sat 24-Aug-13 09:17:27

We have only had ours in when they have had a bad night dd and ds2 has always wanted their own space especially when ill I hover around their rooms trying to read stories and give cuddles offering them to come into my bed or go on the sofa but they never do and just want to sleep in their own bed ds1 would come into our bed if he had a bad night when he was 9 never co slept we let him in for a few nights but our bed was a double and only really big enough for me and dp. We always used to all snuggle in on a weekend morning though and have breakfast and watch netflix in our room.

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