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AIBU thinking about complaining about a Barclays staff members comments?

(135 Posts)
manfalou Thu 22-Aug-13 14:26:36

Im usually really pleased with the service I get from Barclays and my children have always been welcomed there but today I found myself wanting the punch the woman on the other side of the counter.

I only went in to deposit a cheque and withdraw cash and don't usually do chit chat but she stood up to look at my baby over the counter... this is where the fun starts...

First she said: 'Is that your little girl?' ... to which I replied 'No its my boy' smiling... her reply back 'I can only see blue and cream which can be either' and sat back down.. When i worked in retail when I was just out of school I would always say (if I wanted chit chat about babies) I always said something along the lines of 'Your baby's gorgeous' or 'How old's your baby?' so I didn't get the gender wrong. He's 4 months old too btw, its not as though he's newborn.

She then want on to say 'your first?', my reply 'no he's my second, my eldest will be 3 in October'... her reply 'you don't look old enough to have two kids'... I was livid! I just smiled and said 'Well i'm 24 this Saturday' which she repeated.. 'Yeh, you don't look old enough to have two children'. She didn't say it in a 'oh you look young for your age' kind of way, she said it in a 'you shouldn't have two kids at your age, you probably don't know who their fathers are' kind of way. And the way she looked at me... like I was dirt. She went on to tell me that she has ONE son who is 7 years old, he's current at his grandmothers because his dad is a teacher and has had to go into school during the holidays... again said in a snotty way. What I should've said was 'oh well my CHILDREN..yes both of my children have the same father... is an IT consultant for a global company'.

By all means, I think myself I do look younger than 24 but I do not expect professional staff to make such comments, especially when they're said in such a snobbish, rude manner.

ILetHimKeep20Quid Thu 22-Aug-13 15:49:11

Have you had negative comments about your age to child ratio before? It does sound like you have a chip on your shoulder.

Mckayz Thu 22-Aug-13 15:52:31

Here have a grip.

I don't think she meant anything by it at all.

zatyaballerina Thu 22-Aug-13 15:54:50

People will mix up your baby's sex unless you have them blatantly colour coded, they all look the same at that age.

She told you that you LOOKED too young, not that you were, she was trying to give you a complement.

She probably appeared rude because she was trying to talk to you and work at the same time so was distracted and her tone was wrong.

JaffaMyCake Thu 22-Aug-13 15:56:45

Are you being serious?

Have my very first biscuit and a grip.

50shadesofmeh Thu 22-Aug-13 15:59:05

Chill out OP the poor woman was only making small talk. I'd be overjoyed if someone said I didn't look old enough to have kids.

50shadesofmeh Thu 22-Aug-13 15:59:43

My daughter has a blue pram and I put blue on her occasionally so it's not always obvious .

Feelslikea1sttimer Thu 22-Aug-13 16:00:48

I almost kissed the lady who sounded shocked that I was having my 3rd as I looked nowhere near old enough (I'm 34)... It was the look of horror when I said I had teenagers that made me want to climb over the counter and squeeze her! She really did make my day!!!

I wouldn't worry, she sounds like she was trying to be kind and you seem to have misunderstood her intentions!

Madamecastafiore Thu 22-Aug-13 16:01:13

FFS really, get a grip.

This week I have been told I must be carrying twins as am too big for it to be just one!

That I must have had DD as a teenager because I don't look old enough to have a teenager myself! (Big old compliment IMO!!)

And today 'Bloody Hell you are huge!'

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:01:32

you are over reacting
life get a

ShakeAndVac Thu 22-Aug-13 16:01:33

You're livid because she told you that yuou don't look old enough to have two kids?! confused
See, I'd have took that as a compliment! never gets mistaken as someone too young, waaaaah-
As for speculating on whether or not they both have the same father, from what you've said she did nothing of the sort - that was all interpretation of a 'look' on your part!
Seriously far too much overthinking and paranoia on your part by the sounds of it, sorry. Sounds like the poor woman was only trying to be friendly and make small talk!

ShakeAndVac Thu 22-Aug-13 16:02:17

Apologies for typos and over eager use of !!!!!!! grin fat finger typing

ILetHimKeep20Quid Thu 22-Aug-13 16:04:28

I can kind of understand though, op. I had my first at 21, was married and owned a house. I cringe now when I think about how quickly I tried to make sure people knew I wasn't a scruffy single mother in a council house.

Turns out no one gave a fuck.

Groovee Thu 22-Aug-13 16:04:37

I had a number of people think dd was a boy because she had a green dummy in despite being dressed in pink. It did my head in!

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:05:08

think the op sounds uber snob tbh

and thats rich yes

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 22-Aug-13 16:06:16

I'm still pissing myself at IT consultant for global company.

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:07:10


i know.
not just a british company..


LazyMonkeyButler Thu 22-Aug-13 16:13:53

So this all stems from the cashier saying that you didn't look old enough to have two children?

That's a compliment isn't it? I used to get that a lot, I had DS1 at 22 and DS2 at 25 and always looked younger than my actual age. I always thought the person was being nice!

I'd love someone to tell me now, at 38, that I don't look old enough to have three children grin.

Probably best to stick to your usual "no chit chat with minions" rule in future OP wink.

Famzilla Thu 22-Aug-13 16:15:10

I'm 24 tomorrow and wish someone would tell me I looked too young to have kids. Unfortunately the grey hairs, exhausted eye bags and premature wrinkles give it away.

However my DP doesn't have some fancy job that I feel the need to brag about like it somehow validates our choice to have children "young". We just have ineffective contraception. wink

PoppyAmex Thu 22-Aug-13 16:15:11

You found yourself "wanting to punch this woman" for her innocuous remarks?

Good god, I'm never making conversation with a stranger again.

50shadesofmeh Thu 22-Aug-13 16:18:04

Also are young girls only allowed to procreate if their partners are high flyers?

GrumpyRedhead Thu 22-Aug-13 16:22:15

A trainee at work spotted my engagement ring while I was helping her with something. We went from that, to my three DCs, and she was amazed that I had three, she thought I looked much too young. I was all chuffed! I didn't decide she was in some way insulting me confused

LadyMilfordHaven Thu 22-Aug-13 16:22:51

someone on holiday said I dindt look only enough to have teenage kids
it was a young MAYAN

i was fricking thrilled

Tee2072 Thu 22-Aug-13 16:23:13

Does the chip on your shoulder hurt or are you used to it by now?

Seriously, chill out.

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 22-Aug-13 16:26:20

You wanted to punch her? You have anger ishoos. Also, in case you hadn't realised by now, YABU.

hettienne Thu 22-Aug-13 16:37:26

So she cooed over your baby and told you how good you look for your age? What a bitch.

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