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AIBU thinking about complaining about a Barclays staff members comments?

(135 Posts)
manfalou Thu 22-Aug-13 14:26:36

Im usually really pleased with the service I get from Barclays and my children have always been welcomed there but today I found myself wanting the punch the woman on the other side of the counter.

I only went in to deposit a cheque and withdraw cash and don't usually do chit chat but she stood up to look at my baby over the counter... this is where the fun starts...

First she said: 'Is that your little girl?' ... to which I replied 'No its my boy' smiling... her reply back 'I can only see blue and cream which can be either' and sat back down.. When i worked in retail when I was just out of school I would always say (if I wanted chit chat about babies) I always said something along the lines of 'Your baby's gorgeous' or 'How old's your baby?' so I didn't get the gender wrong. He's 4 months old too btw, its not as though he's newborn.

She then want on to say 'your first?', my reply 'no he's my second, my eldest will be 3 in October'... her reply 'you don't look old enough to have two kids'... I was livid! I just smiled and said 'Well i'm 24 this Saturday' which she repeated.. 'Yeh, you don't look old enough to have two children'. She didn't say it in a 'oh you look young for your age' kind of way, she said it in a 'you shouldn't have two kids at your age, you probably don't know who their fathers are' kind of way. And the way she looked at me... like I was dirt. She went on to tell me that she has ONE son who is 7 years old, he's current at his grandmothers because his dad is a teacher and has had to go into school during the holidays... again said in a snotty way. What I should've said was 'oh well my CHILDREN..yes both of my children have the same father... is an IT consultant for a global company'.

By all means, I think myself I do look younger than 24 but I do not expect professional staff to make such comments, especially when they're said in such a snobbish, rude manner.

usualsuspect Thu 22-Aug-13 14:48:09

Go to the papers,get a nice picture of you and your children with sad faces outside Barclays.

OneStepCloser Thu 22-Aug-13 14:50:23

Bloody Barclays, who do they think they are huh.

WeAreEternal Thu 22-Aug-13 14:51:01

So you want to complain about what you imagine she was thinking about you?


Here have a biscuit

SoupDragon Thu 22-Aug-13 14:52:03

Massive overreaction on th part of the OP.

You sound paranoid and overly defensive.

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:54:31

If you can complain about what you imagine people are thinking about you I have a lot of letters to write. grin

I am sure the Scan and Shop assistant in Tesco thought I was a dozy mare this morning but she hid it by smiling and being really helpful. I think it was all a front and deep down she was judging my Cinnamon pretzel.

SnookyPooky Thu 22-Aug-13 14:56:06

Here, take's a grip. Get hold.

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 22-Aug-13 14:57:19

You actually sound too immature to have children. Get a grip.

BalloonSlayer Thu 22-Aug-13 14:57:27

She sounds as if she was been worried that you thought she meant you were too young to have two children (which you did).

This is why she repeated the thing about how you LOOK too young to have 2 children.

Believe me OP, if someone says "you look too young to have 2 children" and get the reply "I am 24 this Saturday" . . . if they then repeat "Yeh, you don't look old enough to have two children' what they are saying to you CLEARLY is: "I am not saying you are too young to have children I said you LOOK too young to have two children. I am saying you LOOK YOUNG. PLEASE do not take offence."

I am quite perplexed as to why you took her attempts to clarify that she was NOT trying to insult you as further insult.

And as for trying to talk about her own child. How very dare she!

Sparklingbrook Thu 22-Aug-13 14:58:28

At least she didn't try and sell you anything.

insancerre Thu 22-Aug-13 14:58:36

I suggest you make yourself a badge. A bit like a Blue Badge for Disabled parking but instead it could say
'yes I am old enough to have 2 children, both have the same father and he is an IT consultant with a global company'
it might have to be a big badge, mind
but then at least, you would feel happier people aren't judging you for what you're not

Montybojangles Thu 22-Aug-13 14:59:30

Shakespeare- "suspicion always haunts the guilty mind"

Are you sure it's not YOU that has an issue of your age and the fact you have 2 children, and are therefore projecting that onto this woman?

And please be assured I'm not fussed whether you're 24 or 54, makes no difference to me (or the vast majority of people I'm guessing).

Dolallytats Thu 22-Aug-13 14:59:47

I love it when people think I don't look old enough to have a 20 year old!! I also get a 'do they have the same father?' question because my other children are 5 and 4 weeks. I just say yes, we don't like to hurry these things!! (In reality, I would have loved children closer together, but it didn't happen lie that for us. But, people don't need to be bored by those details and lifes too short to be peeved about something that would probably go through my mind too!!)

I think you are overreacting and it's a shame you've let a 2 min 'passing the time of day' bit of chit chat cloud your day.

Fakebook Thu 22-Aug-13 15:00:50

Would you have preferred:

"Yeh, you look like shit after two kids. Look at those saggy boobs and droopy eyelids. I thought you were older".


FrenchRuby Thu 22-Aug-13 15:03:59

A woman told me I looked too young to be married and have kids the other day (I'm 25) I took it as a compliment. You are massively over reacting!

Scholes34 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:05:08

Possibly she hit a nerve? A slight over-reaction, I think.

No-one ever tells me I don't look old enough to have a 16 year old and I can't remember the last time I was asked if I had ID when I bought alcohol. Actually, I can. It was 1993.

SunshineBossaNova Thu 22-Aug-13 15:10:01

I also think you're overreacting.

Feminine Thu 22-Aug-13 15:10:24

I went in to a kebab shop a while back.

totally unrelated to anything the owner asked me if my children had the same Dad? he hadn't even asked about salad grin

the other day my Dad wanted to buy me some special brew alcohol for him. I was asked for ID. I'm 41.

op I think you need to make the most of the last days of summer, and enjoy a nice cool drink ...with lots of ice!

Today, you have been a bit unreasonable smile

pianodoodle Thu 22-Aug-13 15:12:19

This doesn't sound worth complaining about really.

People always asked if DD was a boy as she was (and still is) very baldy and I often had her in blue sleepsuits. She always looked like a pretty girl to me but to someone else she was just another baldy baby!

My best friend is 24 but looks about 17 - she gets the same comments but when she's 30 she'll be glad to get them!

lottieandmia Thu 22-Aug-13 15:16:13

Sorry but I do think you are reading way too much into this. I look young for my age and people often say I don't look old enough to have an 11 year old (I had her when I was only 21).

Pink01 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:16:18

You could complain, but it is quite open to interpretation isn't it. She could well have been complimenting you for looking so young - are you normally defensive about your age and being a mum of two?! Cos you sound it a little bit......


5Foot5 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:24:57

By all means, I think myself I do look younger than 24

And you sound much younger.
Stop looking for insults where there are none. YABU and sound a bit silly

MrsWolowitz Thu 22-Aug-13 15:26:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hopasholic Thu 22-Aug-13 15:35:19

Really? You're not being unreasonable you are being absolutely ridiculous.

Cant you see that was just chit chat?

Get that chip off your shoulder and make dinner with it hmm

Samu2 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:43:45

Well, only the OP witnessed her attitude. I get people telling me I look too young to have five children all the time and I take it as a compliment.

It seems like you are overreacting, OP. But at the same time I give you the benefit of the doubt because only you were there and knew if she was being passive aggressive and mean.

The words alone are no big deal, but if she looked at you like dirt then perhaps she was being an arse. No one else was there so we don't know if the OP is reacting over her attitude or not.

Samu2 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:43:58

Devils Advocate/

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