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AIBU to want to punch the mother I saw yesterday getting baby's ear's pierced?

(478 Posts)
ElleBelly Wed 21-Aug-13 11:59:35

Was in Claire's Accessories yesterday with my 4yo daughter, and there was a Mum getting baby's ear's pierced. Bab must have been about six months, and was screaming her head off, made me feel sick. Cannot for the life of me understand why people put their children through that at that age. It's so cruel. And mother was laughing with friends about it! Have got DS second lot of imms this week and dreading it, pathetic,over emitional,hormone befuddled woman I am, and just think its so wrong to put a baby through that pain uneccessarily.
Sorry for the rant but I so wanted to give her a slap.

MissBeehiving Wed 21-Aug-13 12:53:37

Well YABU to want to punch the mother because you'd be committing an offence, probably assault.

But YANBU to dislike the process of ear piercing on small babies.

There is a certain irony in this discussion. Punching mother = assault, putting hole in babies ears = absolutely fine and none of your fucking business

hettienne Wed 21-Aug-13 12:54:14

Wanting to punch someone isn't actually a criminal offence.

gamerchick Wed 21-Aug-13 12:55:58

Of course it's abuse... what kind of idiot actively puts holes through their young baby? Appalling. It's unnecessary and looks bloody stupid.

Mind I won't even put holes through myself.. just no need.

MissBeehiving Wed 21-Aug-13 12:57:21

That's true hettie but I was taking it in the sense of the actual punching IYKWIM?

nameuschangeus Wed 21-Aug-13 12:58:09

Interesting how people on here get all het up about circumcision (for example) but don't mind piercing ears.

Circumcision is also often a cultural choice, as some are saying on here about ear piercing.

Both or horrible ways of mutilating a child IMO. And however much you cry 'none of your business' or 'judges pants' we're all allowed an opinion.

KellyElly Wed 21-Aug-13 12:58:50

Surely OP was just using 'wanting to punch' as turn of phrase rather than literally?

70isaLimitNotaTarget Wed 21-Aug-13 12:58:51

My 11 yo DD had hers done (at Claires) because she's finished Junior where they can't wear any jewellry.
In Secondary she'll have to take them out for PE

She made the choice. I explained everything to her.
I got her the 18ct gold ones to reduce risk of reaction.
There was a clause in the consent form about them not proceeding if the child was distressed.

I've seen very young toddlers in having their ears done. sad but I'll decide for MY child,

brightonbythesea Wed 21-Aug-13 12:59:51

piercing a baby's ears is also not a criminal offence. Not nice, I agree, but also completely up to the parent. No parent should be judged for their choices as long as those choices are legal.

ICBINEG Wed 21-Aug-13 13:00:35


The same age restrictions that apply to tattoos should apply to ear piercing (and any other non-medically required procedure eg. non-medically required circumcision).

brightonbythesea Wed 21-Aug-13 13:00:56

also circumcision?! why is this relevant??!

ElleBelly Wed 21-Aug-13 13:01:43

Bloody hell I'll certainly choose my words more carefully next I've said, I'm not condoning violence and don't agree with it etc etc. I was just putting across how upset I was...and as I've said, I'm well aware it's none of my fucking business, but my opinion, which I'm allowed to have, is that it's fucking cruel.

thebody Wed 21-Aug-13 13:02:39

but was the baby bf or ff.

was she parked in a disabled space as well the complete bitch.

was there a fight at her wedding?

stop drip feeding op!!

ICBINEG Wed 21-Aug-13 13:02:46

I'll decide for MY child

they aren't YOURS. Their ears aren't YOURS.Their bodies don't bleong to YOU. They belong to themselves....

brightonbythesea Wed 21-Aug-13 13:03:05

youre allowed an opinion and she is allowed to pierce her baby's ears. Free country amd all that ..

lovestogarden Wed 21-Aug-13 13:05:56

I was about to say that - it's not illegal and there isn't an age barrier is there?

I don't like it in small kids (god knows how they don't catch and pull the earring - especially babies with hoopy ones) and it does hurt getting them done!

My grandma did a DIY job with a darning needle, bit of ice and cork when she was about 20 (this was in the 1930s and her parents didn't let her have them don, although it was all the rage). She said that she could still remember the pain and having to go to her dad to get the needle out as it got stuck. I was quite old when I got mine done (same time as my mum who was in the 50s). Funnily enough, it was my brother (in a pop band) who got his done before anyone else in the family.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 21-Aug-13 13:06:22

I really dislike seeing earrings on any child, especially on babies when they're having that decision made for them. It looks cheap and tacky.

You're right, it isn't any of your business, but of course you're allowed an opinion over it.

lovestogarden Wed 21-Aug-13 13:07:27

urrrrrrr, mum was in her 50s when she had it done (egged on by her bad influence mate!).

ElleBelly Wed 21-Aug-13 13:07:53

I know she's allowed to pierce her child's ears. Still think its wrong. And I'm a newbie, I don't know what you mean by "drip feeding".

70isaLimitNotaTarget Wed 21-Aug-13 13:08:02

What I meant by "I'll decide for MY child" was -
the decision was made by my DD (as I explained) to have her ears done.
At aged 11 yo she wanted it done , she'd waited and made her mind up.

The MY child bit referred to the fact I don't give a shiney shite what other people decide for their children.

OK by you?

ICBINEG Wed 21-Aug-13 13:10:20

hmm there isn't that much overlap between things that are ethically wrong and things that are illegal....that's why we have a moral framework as well as a legal one as a society.

It isn't illegal to let your ageing parent live out their life alone, struggling more and more to cope with everyday life until they fall one day and no one finds them till weeks later.

That doesn't mean that people wouldn't question your morals in doing that....

ICBINEG Wed 21-Aug-13 13:12:20

70 not really. I disagree that children of other people are not the concern of society as a whole.

If something is morally wrong, it is wrong. Even if it is done to a child not related to you.

Otherwise why do we care about children being sex trafficked abroad? It isn't illegal in those countries?

ICBINEG Wed 21-Aug-13 13:13:05

70 I don't have a problem with your DD and her ears btw. I have a problem with the assumption that what other people do to their children is none of my business.

brightonbythesea Wed 21-Aug-13 13:14:28

That is different from ear piercing. Morally, as nice an idea as it is, we do not all follow the same framework. It would be nice, bit we don't. There will be people who pierce their childrens ears, leave their elderly parents, smack their children and circumcise their sons. These things are okay for them, not for the people on this forum, but that is the way of our diverse world.

mignonette Wed 21-Aug-13 13:15:21

When I was a child living in Central America my sister and I both had our ears pierced by a nun using a cork, needle and ice. It was culturally usual to pierce the ears of babies. We were considered rather long in the tooth to have it done. I remember how traumatised I was by it and explains why I hate nuns

Not something I would ever do. Think OP's comment about 'punching' is more to do with the feelings of rage it invoked in her as opposed to any real 'intent' though. Am I right OP grin....

ICBINEG Wed 21-Aug-13 13:15:52

bright so you don't believe there are moral absolutes?

If a culture allows the rape of children under 5 then we should live and let live?

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