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To get up and walk out of my job, like, right now?

(107 Posts)
GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 08:15:11

A bit of background... I work overseas for a huge international company. I have been here 6 months. Soon after I started, I was assigned to work with a guy who is seen as the most difficult person in the company. We seemed to get on really well, and he told me I was doing an "awesome" job. However, at my 3 month probation review, my manager (someone else) told me that I would be kept on probation for a further 3 months asm although my boss was happy, there were some issues between me and a couple of the people in the office. There were, but they blew over pretty quickly. My 6 month probation is up now. However, this manager said that they were not sure if they were keeping me on, as my partner was "on the fence" as to whether to keep me or not, as he had been 3 months ago. I was shocked at this, as I thought I was doing really well, and he certainly hadn't given me any reason to think otherwise. Certainly nothing like this was mentioned at my 3 month review.

So, my boss is coming in on Friday to "talk about it". The vibe I get is that he doesn't want to keep me on. He told me that if my boss did not want me, they would get rid of me. I do not want "sacked" or even worse "let go" on my CV. There are very few jobs here and I am scared I will not get another and I have a family to support.

So, should I just pre-empt it by leaving of my own accord? Like, now? Just handing my laptop and Blackberry to IT and leaving? Would that be unreasonable, in the circumstances?


ZillionChocolate Wed 21-Aug-13 08:28:08

Yes it would be unreasonable. You're panicking when it's too soon to know what will happen. Even if they wanted to sack you, they'd let you resign. Wait and see what happens at the review. Maybe do some research into what alternative jobs are available.

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 08:30:31

Thanks ZillionChocolate. There's just nothing around at the moment. I feel so awful, I have had such terrible PND since my DD was born a few months ago. I don't need this.

I don't think I could take the rejection, which is why I want to leave of my own accord.

Lilacroses Wed 21-Aug-13 08:35:22

Oh dear, what a tough time you're having. Pnd and work difficulties too. I can understand your worries about being let go but if you just left what would you do then?

WeleaseWodger Wed 21-Aug-13 08:35:43

Depends where you are and what labour laws are like there. How easy is it to terminate employee after probation period? They may just not want to commit, if it will be hard to fire you. If it would be easy to fire you once you're permanent, then it really depends on why they could dismiss you. Could it be because someone extremely difficult doesn't like working with you enough or can it be solely on your performance and you need documented warnings before you're dismissed? It's never going to be a secure place to work, if you're already getting conflicting feedback on your performance and you could be dismissed for someone not wanting to work with you (rather than not doing your job to standard).

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 08:36:20

I am feeling so bad about myself (suicidal thoughts, but don't think I would do it), that I don't want to be rejected. I would rather leave.

Hopasholic Wed 21-Aug-13 08:43:01

No. You will not get a reference which is worse than being 'let go'. If they do let you go then it's reasonable to say it was a temporary post on your CV. It should be no skin off their nose to give you a reference.

If you want to keep this job then you may well have to swallow your pride and ask for 'areas of improvement to be met within the next 3 months' and tell them all how wonderful they are to work for. Make your boss pin down some specifics.

It may be that they're perfectly happy with you but don't want to offer a permanent contract due to benefits that may attract (don't know where you are so not sure if then you'd be entitled to sick pay/mat leave for instance)

My rule has always been never jack one in until you have something to go to. Of course nothing to say you can't get 3 months out of them and be looking for another post in the meantime, then you're in a much better position and they can stuff their job smile

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 08:44:43

I know you're right Hopasholic, but how will I cope if they ask me to leave?

Lilacroses Wed 21-Aug-13 08:45:53

Gemma, you sound extremely low. Do you have support at home?

TheOneAndOnlyFell Wed 21-Aug-13 08:48:52

I am confused. You had a baby a few months ago but you have only been in your job for 6 months? confused I'm not sure quite how that works, but I'm not surprised that your performance has been patchy if it's come slap bang in the middle of you juggling a new baby. Have you taken large chunks of time off for maternity leave during the six months?

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 08:51:03

I have no support, my DH is useless and I have no family or friends in this country. I tried to go for counselling once, but when I turned up at the center, they had closed down. So I have tried to address my problems.

I am very isolated, thank goodness for Mumsnet or I'd have no-one!

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 08:52:10

TheOneAndOnlyFell, I was back at work part-time days after a very difficult birth. I am not trying to gain sympathy here, it was my choice.

Hopasholic Wed 21-Aug-13 08:54:02

X posted with you. My response is to your OP.

lborolass Wed 21-Aug-13 08:54:04

Do you know all your employment rights, are they similar to the UK. It wouldn't do any harm to make sure you're fully informed before the meeting.

Even if they ask you to leave you don't need to put that on your CV, try not to worry too much about that side of things.

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 08:55:05

Thanks lborolass, that makes me feel a bit better.

froken Wed 21-Aug-13 08:57:13

What a horrid situation sad I don't think you should leave, hopefully they will not ask you to leave.

Do you have the choice to move to your home country? It sounds like you could do with some real life support (( huge))

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 08:57:58

I wish froken. I would have to leave my kids behind and I'm not prepared to do that.

Floggingmolly Wed 21-Aug-13 09:02:40

Why does the decision rest with your partner, are you of equal rank?

froken Wed 21-Aug-13 09:02:54

How about just a trip home taking the kids with you? Would your dp agree to that? Or could a friend or relative come and see you.

yegodsandlittlefishes Wed 21-Aug-13 09:03:17

What you do is negotiate. What would they need from you to make them keep you there, and can you do it?

Do they have grounds to ask you to leave, can they do that under the terms of your contract? How much notice do they have to give you? If they do end your contract with them, is there any way you could negotiate some short term consultancy work for them, or is there another job you could do in a different part of the organisation?

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 09:04:54

He's not from the UK. But I'm not sure that that's what we need. When I lived in the UK, I was on the council housing list for 18 years and never got a home. I don't think it would work for us if we went back.

GemmaPomPom Wed 21-Aug-13 09:07:41

The thing is yegodsandlittlefishes, I don't understand what I've done wrong. Honestly, my boss has only ever given me good feedback. After my first review, he told me that he had said I was excellent at my job. However, when I brought it up with my manager a few weeks later, he said my boss had told him he was "on the fence" about keeping me.

It makes so sense.

CelticPromise Wed 21-Aug-13 09:08:25

I was asked to leave a job once. I was gutted although I knew it wasn't going well, but it was actually such a relief to leave and not go back. I was allowed to jump before I was pushed and given a good reference, I just didn't click with what they wanted from me.

GingaNinja Wed 21-Aug-13 09:10:06

Would agree with Hopasholic re: try and get clearly identified issues from your Boss on Friday (if needed). You would not be the first person to have been working really well for a company except that the company don't want the cost and expense of making you permanent regardless of your excellence at the job. An awful lot of us have short term contracts on our cvs so don't worry about that. It sounds like it's a shit situation not of your making - you're bloody brilliant for being back at work and coping as well as you are. Good luck with it all - though I'd start looking for a job elsewhere if you have chance/spare seconds in the day.

Oneandonly: I know people in the US who have worked horrific hours (eg 6am to 10pm) up to 40 weeks pg to bank time up to/including the day before a scheduled section and then been back at work 6 weeks later regardless of healing (or small matter of a newborn) or PND. Those of us in EU countries perhaps do not fully appreciate our statutory mat leave/additional leave rights as much as we should.

Coconutty Wed 21-Aug-13 09:12:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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