I have DS's 1 and 2 with exH. DS moved to live with exH last year when he was 16 to start an apprenticeship where exH works, at his Uncle's company. This was a good opportunity for DS and exH had suggested it. It's too far to travel daily, about 2 hours away, hence DS moving in with exH.
When he first moved his wages were about £400 a month, plus overtime if he did it. I discussed board with exH and he suggested asking DS for £80 a month, which I agreed with. Then, when they moved from the flat they lived in to a house, exH put the board money up to £120 a month. He didn't discuss it with me, I found out from DS. I haven't ever mentioned it to exH and DS didn't want me to.
However, now DS's wages have doubled and exH has told him his board money is now £320 a month. DS is still only 17.
AIBU to think this is too much and discuss it with exH? As far as I know he doesn't need the money and as DS has been sensible and managed to save up a decent amount over the last year, so I feel he should be encouraged to save while he has the chance and that extra board money is money he could be saving. DS pay for some of his own food and obviously all his clothes, shoes, leisure activities, transport etc and things he needs for work.
Not sure it's entirely relevant, but exH 'only' pays £200 a month is maintenance for DS2, which I suspect is far less than the 15% the CSA would suggest for one child (Probably a third of that at least) and he paid the same when DS1 lived here too. I discussed maintenance changing when DS1 moved there and exH wanted to keep things the same. I have never rocked the boat about the amount of maintenance as we do get on fairly well, but I do feel a bit irritated by the fact he is now asking DS1 for over half that amount again when DS1 is still responsible for a lot of his own expenses.
I do think Ds1 should pay some board, but AIBU to think £320 is too much?
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AIBU?
To complain to exH about board money he is charging DS?
133 replies
midori1999 · 19/08/2013 14:16
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