Well not that rudely lol, I insist on a night or two where bf either goes home early or doesn't come round, as a single mum with no family help and no spare cash to pay a babysitter I until I met my bf used my evenings when the children are in bed to relax and have some me time. Usually a glass of wine with the tv off or catching up the soaps or reading my book, its peaceful and I found it my coping mechanism to getting through the week it would only be once or if I was lucky twice because normally evenings are spent catching up on housework.
BF is one of those people who doesn't like his own company in the respect he prefers to be around people he doesn't like silence so doesn't understand why I like that odd night, though he does agree he can see it does me the world of good.
I cant do those things when he is here because he talks non stop lol and he doesn't live here obviously so has nothing to do plus with work and the children our time together is limited so when he is here I prefer to actually spend the time with him, but because we spend so little time together he gets upset when I do want the odd night to just wind down.
aibu to want this and insist on it? I actually don't know if Iabu or not so am willing to accept maybe I am.
AIBU?
AIBU to say if you cant be quiet you can go home
keelyboo · 19/08/2013 12:02
YANBU DH works nights, I am very very busy with 2 kids, 2 jobs and a DH working all hours, most nights I have something to do. So when I schedule a little time off I am most curmudgeonly if I get a visitor or DH changes his plans to be there. 
He needs to understand your needs or he is not THE ONE.
I get exactly where you're coming from. I remember staying in once on my own when staying at pil. Then bil decided to stay because he had some important work.
He didn't shut up for 5 minutes despite having an important project to finish. You could hear him non stop:
"Now where is the cellotape, I don't know where the cellotape is, is it in this drawer... no... ah here it is, just a little, that's a bit much..." "I've just used too much cellotape, but I'm going to cut it off and start again..." "I need to get all this done, I expect I need to change the first paragraph again, I've done it three times and I'm not happy..."
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think he even realised he was doing it. 
I'm in the same situation and quite often say I'm knackered and need an eve to myself! I've explained it's not him, it's just the only time I get and if I don't look after myself & have that silence where I can just vegetate in front of some shit tv and go to bed stupidly early then I'd resent DP and it'd be harder to look after DS without feeling like I've wound down.
He does sometimes bring a book and read that whilst I MN and go to bed early which is blissful but sometimes I need a night where I know I'm seeing no one and can do whatever I fancy.
Seriously, you need it and anyone worth their salt would appreciate that and how tough it can be having no real break besides the evening 
^ we obviously do have nice evenings when we're together btw! I only do that about once a fortnight if I'm feeling a bit tense but he also plays a bit of sport which means he's not here every evening anyway 
Firstly, sulking is a red flag, so just be aware of that and keep your eyes open.
Secondly of course it's fine and normal to want time to yourself! Definitely speak to him about it, but watch his response, that is the telling thing. Also worth thinking about - do you see the relationship progressing to living together eventually? It would definitely be a good idea to set boundaries in place now because when he is around all the time it still doesn't mean you have to spend every night doing stuff together, I'm a extrovert but such clinginess would get on my tits! A girl needs her time to mumsnet 
How long have you been together? I'd find it a bit weird if you don't live together but he is around every night. Is he eating there too?
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