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To refuse to accept a parcel for next door

(92 Posts)
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 19-Aug-13 11:12:11

so man with HUGE box came to the door with a parcel for next door, was I unreasonable to say 'no I'd rather not, its very large and I actually don't get on with them' he huffed at me and stormed away shock and I felt bad for approx a minute. saw him leave without it so nicer neighbour on other side must have accepted it. I am horrible aren't I smile

Lweji Mon 19-Aug-13 12:21:32

Personally, I'm not too happy about parcels being left with neighbours and it feels lazy of delivery services.

What if something happens to the parcel? The neighbours could be held responsible.

The receivers should authorise leaving with specific neighbours or arrange to be at home or a set delivery time. Or collect from depot.

JerseySpud Mon 19-Aug-13 12:23:00

After reading the Pouffe thread on here, there is no way i would take in a parcel for anyone...

EllesAngel Mon 19-Aug-13 12:39:59

I'd take in parcels for my neighbours but I get on with them. I wouldn't if I didn't get on with them, so YANBU

In the past when I've ordered online sometimes the parcel has come the day before it was supposed to.

Frettchen Mon 19-Aug-13 12:52:45

YANBU - my postie/courier is a bit crap and left a parcel for me with my neighbours... didn't bother leaving me a note to say it was there. I've been working late/away at the weekends, so the parcel sat there for almost a fortnight before I even knew it had been delivered. I would have much preferred a note saying to collect it from a depot - less hassle all round, and less having to hope said neighbours are in for to collect it.

mrslyman Mon 19-Aug-13 12:55:21

YANBU I have refused parcels for neighbours a couple of times, once because it was huge and there was a baby sleeping in my narrow hallway, and once because we were going on holiday and I didn't want to miss the neighbours before we went as they would then have to wait ages to get their parcel.

McNewPants2013 Mon 19-Aug-13 12:59:07

I take it small parcels, but not large ones as storing them safely is a problem.

GhostsInSnow Mon 19-Aug-13 13:21:09

jerseyspud pouffe thread? Link?

supermariossister Mon 19-Aug-13 13:28:10

we do accept for each other but I would turn down if anything big as would block the tiny hall and id be trappedgrin

Costypop Mon 19-Aug-13 13:30:28

Not unreasonable at all.
I once to a parcel of what I think must of been a printer or something along those lines, the box was huge! 3foot by 3foot at least! They ran a business from home. But it took them 3weeks to get it from me, kept popping over always no answer or had the reply they would get it later. I had a bad back and couldn't lift the thing. It was very much in my way in the hall so involved me having to step over it to get out of the house. Massive pain in the back side. The husband finally came round to get it at 11:30 one night when I had friends over. And not even a thankyou! I later suck a note though there door saying I would no longer take in anything for them. They responded by continually blocking in my car, very pretty people. So glad when they moved

rootatoot Mon 19-Aug-13 13:33:46

YANBU and from now on, I won't be taking in parcels for my neighbours who clearly have no regard for us, and think we are a walk over (see my other thread about them taking the p*ss!) It isn't in my nature to not be neighbourly, however it seems being good natured is open to abuse sadly so going to toughen up.

The last parcel I took for them was a massive box, which took up loads of space all day, stank of plastic and then when I told them it was there, they also didn't get it until later on as it wasn't convenient when I told them.

Fakebook Mon 19-Aug-13 13:38:51

Yanbu. One of my neighbours kept a parcel of mine for weeks and weeks and handed it back to the post man when I had re ordered the item. The arseholes. I have no idea which one it was but I "opted out" after that. There is no way I would help either of them now.

marciaoverstrand Mon 19-Aug-13 13:41:01

YANBU, I used to take parcels in for the couple over the road from me, but as her husband is a miserable git who never makes eye contact or says hello after 6 years I don't bother now!
And they used to take days to collect, parcels propped up in the hall are an invite for my dog to cock his leg!

oinkling Mon 19-Aug-13 13:48:40

Sounds fine to me. Although my neighbour (who I'd never really met) took in a parcel for me last week and if he hadn't, I don't know what I'd have done. I live in a city and we don't tend to do things like that. My friend, who lives out in the sticks, says that if it's raining, one of his neighbours would take in his washing for him. I was stunned at this and would hate if someone grabbed my washing.

In general, though, I think it's fine not to take the parcel, especially as you don't get on with these people.

NoelHeadbands Mon 19-Aug-13 13:49:27


I will take parcels for all but one of my neighbours as I got so monumentally fucked off with them never coming round to pick them up.

It all came to a head when my DH took in a massive coffee machine for them. Almost a week went by with me seething and kicking the jeffing thing every time I passed it in the hall way.

Eventually whilst I was putting out the recycling, the lazy arse bloke shouts over "have you got a parcel for us?"

"Yes" sez I

Lazy bastard just looks at me expectantly. hmm

I go back indoors.

After I guess, thirty minutes or so, it dawns on lazy fat bastard that I'm not bringing it over to him.

No more!

NoelHeadbands Mon 19-Aug-13 13:50:32

I thought I was over it.

Obviously not grin

bigbluebus Mon 19-Aug-13 13:52:58

I don't think you were being unreasonable if it was a very large parcel - not withstanding the fact that you don't get on with the neighbours.

I take in parcels for quite a few neighbours, and they do the same for me if necessary. I remember being embarrassed once though when a delivery arrived (supplies for DD) whilst I was out and they left it next door - without leaving a card. Lovely neighbour (whose English can be a little difficult to understand) called round on my return with a box in her hand and said she had taken a delivery in for me. She then proceeded to bring around the other 14 boxes they had left in her hallway [embarrassed].

The couriers are only paid something like 40-50p per delivery regardless of how many calls it takes to deliver the parcel, so they are naturally keen to get rid on 1st call. I was on my doorstep one day talking to a BT engineer who was repairing my phone line when a courier who was trying to deliver a parcel to a house down the road, without success, spotted me and came up my drive and asked me to take the parcel in. I explained that I didn't know the occupiers of that house - but he wasn't bothered at all and virtually thrust his machine into my hands to get me to sign for the parcel. As I could see it was books from Red House, I took it, but wouldn't have been at all happy if a courier had gone that far down the street with one of my parcels.

ChasedByBees Mon 19-Aug-13 13:58:12

Of course YANBU. All these PP's saying they don't understand why you can't be 'nice' - my neighbour drove at my family. Should I continue to be nice? I don't think so. OP has said that her neighbours are horrible, you don't have to do a favour for someone that is horrible to you.

OnFoot Mon 19-Aug-13 14:09:44

YABU. I take in parcels happily for most neighbours and always have done. But I currently have one neighbour who is a total pain and I simply want no non-essential contact with her so I've asked the couriers and postie not to leave anything for our house at her house and I will not be taking parcels for her if the matter crops up.

She's extremely nosy and comes into our garden if she thinks we're out and tries to get into our sheds etc. Other neighbours called the police once as they thought we had burglars. If you're out front gardening say, and have the front door unlocked, she'll try to sneak past me into the house to nose. So, no, I don't want any unnecessary contact with her, I don't want her getting my post and I won't be taking in her post.

LisaMed Mon 19-Aug-13 14:22:11

My neighbours are lovely and I cherish them, they take in parcels for me and I get them goodies. I would take in a parcel for them in a heartbeat.

Previous ones with the death threats, abuse, grief and vandalism - probably wouldn't bother.

chocoluvva Mon 19-Aug-13 15:07:46

Go on OP - spill your neighbours horribleness with us!

quoteunquote Mon 19-Aug-13 15:12:42

I actually don't get on with them'

It would of been a good opportunity to start to change that.

OnFoot Mon 19-Aug-13 15:19:53

oh bother. I meant to type YANBU, not YABU. Sorry.

Madlizzy Mon 19-Aug-13 15:21:12

I don't get on with my neighbour as he's a misogynistic, foul mouthed, aggressive twat, and I won't take parcels in for him, so no, I don't think that YBU at all.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 19-Aug-13 15:28:26

Thanks all who see my point, the rest... I am not normally horrible, will do anything for the rest of my local community but next door got all shirty with us when we had an extension done, no reason as far as we could see just stopped speaking then hung over the fence at every opportunity glaring everytime we went into the garden. The fence on their side blew down, its their responsibility but DH offered to put up a new one at shared cost. on the day he did it she came out and put out washing and ignored him, he came home later and went out and said 'its not straight and you are over on our side!' DH explained that it needed to dog leg a bit to meet the wall at the end. He got a tape measure out! I said 'what about a thanks then?' he told me to shut up! wtf ungrateful gits. since then he has complained about DS... not at the time but when we have been away he hangs around glaring and says stuff like ' i will complain to the police next time DS plays his music loudly when you leave him home alone' my response 'he is 20, an adult, if its too loud knock and ask him to turn it down, if he doesn't, feel free to call the police' called me a few names... ffs what can I do if I am not there and 6 weeks after the event is pointless anyway. If DH goes out to cut back the trees he is out there saying they are falling in my garden, rant rant, they never cut their grass, never open a window, never finish a job and there is cat shit all over their garden that stinks in warm weather. so no just not very nice people at all. I am happy to be ignored as all the other neighbours are friendly and nice.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 19-Aug-13 15:29:35

quoteunquote no I am happy not to bother with them tbh.

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