TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 4

[TidyDancer]

Ready for later! :)

[londonrach]

Could you summarise please tidy. X

[Morgause]

[MummyBeerest]

All previous threads were on my watch list. But the 4th?
I'm so in.

Is the wedding this weekend? ?

[girlsyearapart]

Part 4?!
I was only on part 2...

[Pinebarrens]

a summary would be great!

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

I missed no3. Summary?

[SpecialAgentCuntSnake]

Marking place.

[HMG83]

Shameless placemark. Looking forward to your update tonight! What could hunfriend possible have to say?

[AaDB]

No 3 disappeared from my I'm on list. I'd love a catch up or link please.

[AaDB]

Found thread 3. Tidy is going for a drink with hunfriend tonight. so called because gluezilla asked 'what's up, hun?' to a remark made by uninvited guest; one of the 20/100 save the daters but stay at home peeps.

[sweetestcup]

Id like a summary Tidy, I missed 2 and 3, although I read all of 1!

[SlightlyItchyBraStrap]

Part FOUR? Surely this must be a mumsnet record.

[Thumbwitch]

Not just marking my place, OH no, not me. As if.

[thistlelicker]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!! waves-

[thistlelicker]

I've missed the end of the last thread!! How rude of me!

[gintastic]

Waiting with bated breath...

[TheDoctrineOfJetlag]

[Groovee]

Where's part 3?

[SkinnybitchWannabe]

A summary would be great please.

[prettybird]

Gluesister also emailed Tidydancer and asked what was up, saying Gluezilla was upset . Tidydancer replied with input from MN explaining the sequence of events (ie that she'd been asked to decorate the hall for the wedding she had effectively been uninvited to and had said no but that GZ didn't seem to want to accept that).

Gluesister replied saying "Sorry you feel that way".

Now awaiting result of TD meeting another of the "uninvited", who was "hunned" by GZ on Facebook after a sarcastic comment which appears to be linked to the wedding.

[HorryIsUpduffed]

Summary

Bride sent out save the date cards to 100 people including Tidy

More recently, bride sent out 80 invitations. This is bad form but Tidy sucked it up.

Bride emailed Tidy to ask for her help in decorating her venue to her 50s/60s Hollywood theme. This is explicitly because Tidy has skills in this area, is local, and is not invited. Bride does not want to spoil the surprise for the invited guests.

Tidy declined.

Bride asked her to reconsider.

Tidy declined.

Bride's sister doesn't know Tidy but contacted her to say that bride is very upset, so will she please reconsider.

Tidy explained that she wishes bride well, but given circumstances including work, childcare and not being invited she still declines to help.

Sister acknowledges receipt fairly non-committally.

Friend Vaguebooks. Bride replies "what's up hun" and gets "..." in response. This friend is one of the 20 uninvitees.

Tidy and friend are meeting today (Friday 16th).

Additional notes:

because of suggested response "Are you on glue?" bride is known as Gluezilla* and we also refer to GlueSister, GlueGroom, etc.

• Because of a suggested decoration scheme of Sylvanian Family wedding set, we are shoehorning Sylvanian Family references in wherever possible
  
  
• Gluezilla is planning one of those "running away from T Rex" photos.

[FruOla]

Tidy, if you're tempted to consume vast amounts of alcohol this evening, please try not to - or at least please try to stay sober enough to remember the conversation with HunFriend .

Or just record the conversation so you can play it back to yourself when you're regaling us with the details of whatever it is that Glue has done to HunFriend .

[KoalaFace]

Love Horry's summary. Particularly the "additional notes".

I wonder if hunfriend is incandescent? She'll flip her lid when ahe hears about Tidy's Slave the Date issues.

I missed hunfriend's status though. What exactly did she say?

[sweetestcup]

Horry thank you, that sums it up!

[DadDadDad]

And between all the entertaining discussion in the last 3000 posts on this topic, I've lifted out all the actual communications that Tidy has told us:

SENT 21 July 11:30 [all timings approx]
Dear F,
Save The Dates are usually sent to ensure your guests are avaliable to attend your wedding - not to make sure they are free to help on the day (and NOT get invited). I am astounded at your request, and will not be available to provide assistance.
Tidy.

RECEIVED 22 July 19:00
Are you being serious? I thought you'd want to help....!

SENT 22 July 21:30
Hang on, have I got something wrong here? Am I actually invited? Apologies if I have got the wrong end of the stick but I really thought that I wasn't

RECEIVED 24 July 20:00
I'm really sorry, I thought we'd talked about this...
I couldn't invite everyone from the save the date list so I'm sorry you and [DP's name] can't come.
I'd still really appreciate your help with decorations etc. Is there any chance you can do it?
Please?
F

SENT 25 July 18:30
Dear F,

I am sorry if I wasn't clear before. I was hoping that you might realise just how rude you are being, without me having to spell it out to you.

You simply cannot expect to send someone a save the date card, fail to invite them to your wedding, and then request them to arrange childcare and put in time and effort to do you a wedding related favour!! The kind of thing you are asking of me is only really appropriate to ask of a guest (and even then only if it's not putting them at an inconvenience) or a professional decorator/planner.

I understand that this is your wedding, and you have every right to invite whoever you wish to attend. However, I am frankly astonished that you cannot appreciate just how rude you have been, in asking me to help you decorate the venue for a wedding you chose not to invite me to, for the benefit of those who you DO regard well enough to invite!

So just to be clear in order that there is no further ambiguity, I wish you nothing but the best for your wedding and marriage, but I regret I will not be able to help you.

Best wishes,

Tidy


RECEIVED 30 July 21:00
There's obviously been a misunderstanding of some kind. I didn't think this was that big of a deal. Let me know if you change your mind.
F x

RECEIVED 31 July 18:30
from bride's sister, Tidy says it is ?asking what happened, as the bride is upset. Not at what she has done, but at the fact that I won't help her. It's not a horrible or unpleasant email, but I am utterly flabbergasted."

SENT 1 Aug 20:00
Dear Sister,

I'm not entirely sure myself why F is upset if I'm honest. All I can do is really explain my position and hopefully it'll make sense to you.

Your sister invited me and [DP's name] to her wedding by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm one of 20 who received the original save the date cards and whom are not invited after all. I've accepted this as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as F had never discussed this with me before less than a fortnight ago and I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help for a number of reasons. I'm not sure if you're under the impression that I had arranged to help F and then pulled out, but this isn't what happened. I truly had no idea she was going to approach me to do this until I received her email.

Your sister is normally so thoughtful, so I'm surprised she hasn't realised what an imposition it is. It's just too much I'm afraid and I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy"

RECEIVED 6 Aug 17:30
Thanks for getting back to me, I'm really sorry to hear you feel like that. As I'm sure you understand it's difficult for me because F is upset. She's still hoping you reconsider as she's stuck but I do understand if you can't.

S x