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TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 4

(662 Posts)
TidyDancer Fri 16-Aug-13 06:58:26

Ready for later! smile

DadDadDad Fri 16-Aug-13 09:00:21

And between all the entertaining discussion in the last 3000 posts on this topic, I've lifted out all the actual communications that Tidy has told us:

SENT 21 July 11:30 [all timings approx]
Dear F,
Save The Dates are usually sent to ensure your guests are avaliable to attend your wedding - not to make sure they are free to help on the day (and NOT get invited). I am astounded at your request, and will not be available to provide assistance.

RECEIVED 22 July 19:00
Are you being serious? I thought you'd want to help....!

SENT 22 July 21:30
Hang on, have I got something wrong here? Am I actually invited? Apologies if I have got the wrong end of the stick but I really thought that I wasn't

RECEIVED 24 July 20:00
I'm really sorry, I thought we'd talked about this...
I couldn't invite everyone from the save the date list so I'm sorry you and [DP's name] can't come.
I'd still really appreciate your help with decorations etc. Is there any chance you can do it?

SENT 25 July 18:30
Dear F,

I am sorry if I wasn't clear before. I was hoping that you might realise just how rude you are being, without me having to spell it out to you.

You simply cannot expect to send someone a save the date card, fail to invite them to your wedding, and then request them to arrange childcare and put in time and effort to do you a wedding related favour!! The kind of thing you are asking of me is only really appropriate to ask of a guest (and even then only if it's not putting them at an inconvenience) or a professional decorator/planner.

I understand that this is your wedding, and you have every right to invite whoever you wish to attend. However, I am frankly astonished that you cannot appreciate just how rude you have been, in asking me to help you decorate the venue for a wedding you chose not to invite me to, for the benefit of those who you DO regard well enough to invite!

So just to be clear in order that there is no further ambiguity, I wish you nothing but the best for your wedding and marriage, but I regret I will not be able to help you.

Best wishes,


RECEIVED 30 July 21:00
There's obviously been a misunderstanding of some kind. I didn't think this was that big of a deal. Let me know if you change your mind.
F x

RECEIVED 31 July 18:30
from bride's sister, Tidy says it is “asking what happened, as the bride is upset. Not at what she has done, but at the fact that I won't help her. It's not a horrible or unpleasant email, but I am utterly flabbergasted."

SENT 1 Aug 20:00
Dear Sister,

I'm not entirely sure myself why F is upset if I'm honest. All I can do is really explain my position and hopefully it'll make sense to you.

Your sister invited me and [DP's name] to her wedding by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm one of 20 who received the original save the date cards and whom are not invited after all. I've accepted this as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue, as F had never discussed this with me before less than a fortnight ago and I'm afraid it's just not possible for me to help for a number of reasons. I'm not sure if you're under the impression that I had arranged to help F and then pulled out, but this isn't what happened. I truly had no idea she was going to approach me to do this until I received her email.

Your sister is normally so thoughtful, so I'm surprised she hasn't realised what an imposition it is. It's just too much I'm afraid and I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards

RECEIVED 6 Aug 17:30
Thanks for getting back to me, I'm really sorry to hear you feel like that. As I'm sure you understand it's difficult for me because F is upset. She's still hoping you reconsider as she's stuck but I do understand if you can't.

S x

DadDadDad Fri 16-Aug-13 09:01:51

Is there a support group for sad people like me who have spent too much time on this thread?

Mitzyme Fri 16-Aug-13 09:07:41

Slave the Date. Brilliant !!

grobagsforever Fri 16-Aug-13 09:08:25

Thanks so much to those who have summarised. I'm unlurking and place marking. I'm out for a drink myself tonight so will need thus update to ready for my train journey home please Tidygrin

EagleRiderDirk Fri 16-Aug-13 09:08:28

Nice summaries horry and dad. Have some cake

not place marking at all

Oh additional note:
thanks to Gluezilla's facebook response, Tidy's mutual friend is known as hunfriend

Sayitdontsprayit Fri 16-Aug-13 09:09:45

Oh part 4! grin

Lancelottie Fri 16-Aug-13 09:13:09

Horry, I'm not sure I can keep track of my own life in that much detail -- could you come and summarize what I'm meant to be doing this week, please apart from waiting for updates from Tidy's thread?

LoopThePoop Fri 16-Aug-13 09:15:21

It's like a soap opera! smile

DameFanny Fri 16-Aug-13 09:20:26

Splendid updates thanks

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 16-Aug-13 09:22:13

Thanks horry and daddad

Recapped beautifully

Wonder how the drink will go tonight

Will hun friend be devastated she wasn't invited

Plus assume she is local to tidy - was she also asked to decorate the hall - although we know she is going away to Paris for the weekend

If I was hun friend I would be insulted if I wasn't grin

MinnieBar Fri 16-Aug-13 09:31:19


Actually, seeing Gluezilla's emails all together like that without all the suggestions etc makes her sheer brass neck seem even worse. It's like she only read the words 'I can't help' and ignored the 'this is just SO INCREDIBLY RUDE of you' aspects of the emails.

Respect to you though Tidy. And thank you for some amazing threads of late… grin

Blatherskite Fri 16-Aug-13 09:32:03

I've followed this from the beginning. I can't quit now!


HorryIsUpduffed Fri 16-Aug-13 09:35:14


At a guess:

* keep children alive
* clean kitchen
* start thinking about That Cupboard you've been ignoring

DidoTheDodo Fri 16-Aug-13 09:36:13

I'm in! (Hurrah, I was wondering what to do with my weekend....sorted!)

Manchesterhistorygirl Fri 16-Aug-13 09:37:22

Brilliant summaries there. I'm going away to possibly no wifi next week, can someone please PM with updates! grin

Pinebarrens Fri 16-Aug-13 09:37:40

thanks horry and dad brilliant summary.

Look forward to todays update.

Tidy brilliant measured responses.

lunar1 Fri 16-Aug-13 09:38:46

In my house keeping children alive and opening that cupboard can't be done together, the avalanche would overwhelm us all.

Can't wait for the updategrin

EdwiniasRevenge Fri 16-Aug-13 09:41:33

I wonder if this thread will fill up with people bookmarking their place before tidy gets back?

oops, this appears to be another one of the 1000 posts accidentally used as a bookmark

HorryIsUpduffed Fri 16-Aug-13 09:44:22

lunar I did say "start thinking about"...

I think mine has its own ecosystem by now.

DontActuallyLikePrunes Fri 16-Aug-13 09:56:27

Surely nobody could be in any doubt that TidyDancer wouldn;t be doing it, after her responses? confused
Is this a wind up?

IKnewHouseworkWasDangerous Fri 16-Aug-13 10:01:26

Horry are you in my brain? Though I have several of those cupboards and only 1 dc but that was pretty darn close.

RustyBear Fri 16-Aug-13 10:02:46

Partly a bookmark and partly a repost of the ideal wedding present to fit the Hollywood theme...

kiwimumof2boys Fri 16-Aug-13 10:04:44

OK this is better than any soap opera !
marking place . . .

Isityouorme Fri 16-Aug-13 10:05:28

I was hoping there was an update ...... I got really excited!!!

FruOla Fri 16-Aug-13 10:08:26

DontActually, Tidy is meeting another dis-invited friend (HunFriend) for a drink tonight - not Gluezilla. But clearly Glue has managed to upset/offend HunFriend too - so what we're waiting for is find out what it is she's done to HunFriend grin

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