To feel a bit rejected by my 8mo - should I have done something differently?

[DeweyDecibelle]

She has decided that she doesn't want to breastfeed any more, and I'm feeling really shit about it. Wondering if there is anything I can do/should have done differently, opinions welcome.

Background: almost exclusively BF her (as in a bottle maybe once a month) til 4.5 months, then slowly began weaning (she had terrible acid reflux). Still BFing but with the recent hot weather in London I gave her a few more bottles than usual to top up her fluids as I was paranoid she would be dehydrated and she didn't seem to be taking much from me. I would have to put my phone on my breast and let her play with it in order to keep her latched for any length of time. This seemed to be proved right when she gobbled up the formula, despite seeming uninterested in my boobs. Now I can barely get her to feed from me at all. I think it is because she can look around more easily when bottle feeding.

I want her to get her fluid and nutrients, but I'd rather they were from me than from formula. Short of starving her so she's desperate for milk (which obv I wouldn't do) what can I do? And is it my fault?

[5madthings]

Could be a nursing strike, you could reduce/stop the bottles and she should nurse more again.


Try lots of skin to skin, maybe some snuggly naps together.

Have a look on kellymom for info on nursing strikes.

And its not your fault!

[Faith48]

Could you express milk and then feed her if you're worried about how much fluid she is getting but are not keen on formula?

[honeytea]

Are you drinking enough? Could it be that you are slightly dehydrated because of tge warm weather and so your maybe not making as much milk?

Ds is nearly 8 months, he faffs about at the boob but about 3 times a day he does a proper feed, I offer him water and 3 "meals" a day he hardly eats anything and he drinks only a little bit of water so the occasional feedmjust be ok for him.

[FrogsGoWhat]

I would say it sounds like a nursing strike. Also, at that age DD would only feed for about 1 min then she was done - too busy playing/learning.

Have you tried offering the breast before all food and drink - just quickly and not getting fussed or insistent about it. DD went through several nursing strikes all lasting a few days then was back to normal - teething accounted for some, but some had no apparent reason! She always bfed better when sleepy/relaxed though so you could try having a bath together?

These links night help?

www.lalecheleague.org/faq/strike.html

kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/distractible-baby/

kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/

[ukatlast]

YANBU Not only have you done absolutely nothing wrong, it also doesn't matter. Your child has had the benefit of 8 months of breast milk which is 8 months more than many babies.
She has chosen to wean herself off and that is fine. Concentrate on snuggly formula feeds...the feeling of rejection will soon pass. It is far more important that she receive enough fluid and food than the source of said nourishment. I know you know this really.
I mixed fed from the start due to low production and both weaned themselves around 6 months. I remember the rejection feeling with my second as I knew he was my last!

[waterrat]

Perfectly normal and honestly you shouldn't worry - my son stopped bf at 10 months - completely refused so I swapped to bottles and it was fine

Your baby has been bf way longer than the average British child and is now getting nutrients from food anyway - milk will become much less important now

[Whothefuckfarted]

Just adding to what everyone else has put.

By giving the bottle (depending on method you use to give it) the formula flows freely, baby doesn't have to work to get the milk out. Then she gets put to the breast, can't get the milk as freely and gets frustrated and unlatches.

Here is a great article which explains how to mimic the way a feed happens from the breast using a bottle.

nurturedchild.ca/index.php/2010/12/10/baby-led-bottle-feeding/

[Whothefuckfarted]

I also have to say milk (be it breast or formula) Is still the most important part of the babies diet until at least one year old. It is not much less important now waterrat

[MillionPramMiles]

You've done nothing wrong at all and as others have said, there's nothing to worry about. My dd did the same around 7 months, I was upset at first but then it felt like a natural transition. Also dd showed more interest in eating solids and bonded more closely with dp so there was a plus side.

The thing it made me realise was how much I (and dp) had relied on bfeeding to comfort dd when she was tired, upset, ill etc. We (rather than I) now had to comfort dd in other ways (cuddles, singing, rocking etc). Feeding became mainly about satisfying hunger rather than providing comfort, which ultimately seems a good thing.
(Though dd's bedtime bottle and snacks in the car are definitely about comfort/avoiding tantrums...)