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To want to get married first?

(87 Posts)
MadInfoScientist Wed 07-Aug-13 10:17:55

I know, it's an old chestnut, but it's keeping me awake at night!
DP and I have been together 5 years, living together for 3 years, engaged for just over 18 months. We are both 34; he was married once before (briefly), I've never been married.

Lately, DP has been feeling 'broody' (?), and wants to start trying for a baby starting now. I am not comfortable with this; though I am not really a traditional sort, I do want DP to make the committment to us as a couple first, and not just because we have a child together. DP is not at all marriage shy, he is just really keen on being a dad, which is lovely, but I guess I don't understand why we can't just have a nice, small wedding ceremony that's about us first, then start trying?! It's not as if I am dying for a huge wedding...the registry office with close friends and family will suit me just fine.

I know that some people view marriage as 'just a piece of paper', but still, it's important to me. I like the idea of saying our vows to each other in front of our closest friends and family, and commemorating that committment to each other. Anyway...he is lovely, and he's not pressuring me in a nasty way, but I feel like I'm letting him down. Am I being unreasonable??

redexpat Fri 09-Aug-13 11:19:58

A lot of venues will offer a last minute deal, so you could easily plan within a month, assuming hte registrar is available that day.

redexpat Fri 09-Aug-13 11:20:40

Oh well done! Congratulations!

karinmaria Fri 09-Aug-13 11:35:19

Big grin from me! grin

Congratulations! Have a wonderful day (and marriage!).

runningforthebusinheels Fri 09-Aug-13 11:40:47

Congratulations op, I hope you'll be very happy. That's a great way to do a wedding.

Petal02 Fri 09-Aug-13 11:51:01

Aw, what a lovely post - I do enjoy a happy ending !!! Have a wonderful wedding, and lets hope you're soon proud parents xx

NotYoMomma Fri 09-Aug-13 11:52:05

Team Marriage here.

98percentchocolate Fri 09-Aug-13 11:52:10

I wanted to get married before having dc originally but life intervened and we ended up having dd beforehand. We still aren't married and I doubt it'll ever happen now. We just don't have the time or money to plan a wedding (even a registry office one). We call each other DH and dw to other people so everyone already assumes we are married. It feels like it too. I've tried raising the legal issues of us not being married but it hasn't worked. I've given up now.
Moral of that story is; if you really want it then you need to go for it.

98percentchocolate Fri 09-Aug-13 11:53:26

Oops didn't see the update (could only see first two pages for some reason!!)
Congratulations op!!!

Bue Fri 09-Aug-13 11:56:55

That's wonderful, congratulations! Happy wedding and happy baby making!

TheSlug Fri 09-Aug-13 11:57:24

That's lovely! Congratulations!

LazyMonkeyButler Fri 09-Aug-13 12:00:29

Fabulous! Congratulations!

themaltesefalcon Fri 09-Aug-13 12:03:35

Beautiful. flowers

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