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To be very annoyed at my neighbours

(29 Posts)
Tobyturtle Tue 06-Aug-13 23:54:58

This is quite long sorry!
Right we currently rent our house and have lived here around 4 years very happily. Have always been in good terms with neighbours however they are very 'in your face' type people. Our garden is very open plan with their garden and everything you go out if the house they are their striking up conversation with you. We do have a good relationship (e.g we look after their cats when their in holiday and visa versa) however we rarely socialise unless their is a house party or special occasion. We do however find them very over bearing and they really do not take the hint that sometimes we just want our own space and this year we have rarely sat in the garden as they are just so annoying!

A couple if months ago our landlord called and said that sadly, due to a family bereavement and change in circumstances he had to sell the home that we rent. We have therefore had to look for a new home and have bought our first house together and all of this is currently going through and we are due to move mod September.

A couple of weeks after finding out we were going too e I mentioned it to my neighbours in conversation anyway long story short they have decided to buy the house we live in and extend their house into ours if you see what I mean! (Bloody expensive extension IMO but hey each to their own!) they are yet to purchase our house but our landlord had accepted their offer and so they are quite excited and have already started planning the work.

Anyway tonight they had some builders around to look at their house and to plan (and I would assume cosy out) the work. I was not aware they were having these builders around I just heard them in the garden. Around 30 minutes after the builders had arrived I had a knock on my door and it was my next door neighbour asking if she could bring the builders in to have a look in our house as they had been trying to describe the layout and it was difficult to explain! To be honest she really put me and my husband in an awkward position and we did let them however it was highly uncomfortable as I found it so rude and was quite obviously annoyed. I was also feeding my little boy which they could see however in they waltzed, wine in hand, to check it out.

They were in the house about 5 minutes, thanked us and left. We then went out for a couple of hours and when we returned they came around to say how sorry they wee and they should never have done that. They were apologetic however I think only because I was do obviously annoyed. We were typically British and said it was ok and for them not to worry about it however I do think it was rude and completely inna

Tuppenceinred Wed 07-Aug-13 08:34:34

I don't think you should be very annoyed because:
1 - You agreed to let the builders in. You could have said that it wasn't convenient but they could come back later to arrange a different time (as it was tea time and the family were eating).
2 - They were only in your house for 5 minutes.
3 - The neighbours realised they did wrong and came round to apologise later.
I'm also thinking that this didn't happen particularly late in the day as you went out after for a couple of hours. So, at a reasonable time of day I don't think it was that bad for your neighbours to ask. If you didn't want them to come in all you had to do was decline politely, not let them in and then be visibly annoyed.

Eyesunderarock Wed 07-Aug-13 08:33:55

You could just have said no. Why didn't you?

primallass Wed 07-Aug-13 08:29:39

I'm not seeing the problem tbh. It was 5 minutes.

Nanny0gg Wed 07-Aug-13 08:19:21

They apologised.

All you needed to have done was say 'I'm sorry, but it's not convenient.'

Have you met your new neighbours yet??


EarlyIntheMorning Wed 07-Aug-13 08:15:06

I don't think there was anything wrong with wanting their builders to have a look at your house since they're buying it They were in and out in 5 minutes. A bit of notice would have been better but come on....

McPie Wed 07-Aug-13 08:14:02

They were BU and I would be more worried about how many more builders they will be bringing to your door. I think in future as the house is not yours and not yet theirs they should put all requests through the landlord first then have him arrange a suitable time with you or before you know it the 5 mins will be a day of replacing windows or something!

SoupDragon Wed 07-Aug-13 08:12:39

They were in for 5 minutes, thanked you and apologised for disturbing you?


Madamecastafiore Wed 07-Aug-13 08:10:02

They apologised to you because you were obviously annoyed. And you have an issue with that? That's silly they wouldn't have apologised if you didn't look annoyed???

It was 5 minutes FFS.

whois Wed 07-Aug-13 08:06:12

They were a bit U, but is WAS only for 5 mins and they appogised later. You sound a bit uptight OP.

Mimishimi Wed 07-Aug-13 04:19:03

They did apologise so at least they acknowledged that it was a bit rude. If they knew the builders were coming on that day, they should have asked your permission in advance, not put you on the spot like that.

ChippingInHopHopHop Wed 07-Aug-13 01:12:20

Yeah - then you'll get accused of 'drip feeding' - as an OP you really can't win, just get used to it grin

Anyway, onto more important things... have you found somewhere lovely to move to?

BrianTheMole Wed 07-Aug-13 00:17:34

They said sorry though. It was a bit rude, but I guess they are excited and not thinking clearly.

brightpinktoenails Wed 07-Aug-13 00:14:04

I'd find it a bit irritating that they came in and caught me off guard but it's pretty understandable of them wanting to come by. I get what you mean though that it was "them" that irritated you, and that if it was somebody else you mightn't have minded!

you'll be rid of them soon! smile

Tobyturtle Wed 07-Aug-13 00:12:59

Haha I've never posted before and so next time I might condense it slightly aldi!!!

aldiwhore Wed 07-Aug-13 00:10:27

You certainly could never be accused of that wink

aldiwhore Wed 07-Aug-13 00:09:56

Hahaha penguin I thought that too... that's how to look at it Tobyturtle much better to think of that than dwell on your failure to say no (I am exactly the same).

Tobyturtle Wed 07-Aug-13 00:09:15

All very true points! It's no biggie really I just felt it was imposing on our personal space. Maybe I am more sensitive as me and my husband always feel they they are imposing on our space and so I probably got more annoyed about it than I would if it was somebody else.
Swallowing I didn't want to be accused of drip feeding!

cacamilis Wed 07-Aug-13 00:07:35

They were very rude, be glad to be rid of the. When you move into your new home nip any unwanted behaviour from your new neighbours in the bud, don't be afraid to set boundaries.
congratulations on the new homesmile

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 07-Aug-13 00:06:32

I think YABU what's wrong with what they did? You didn't have to say yes...

chesterberry Wed 07-Aug-13 00:06:05

It was a bit rude, however clearly they realised that and they came around to apologise so I think you need to let it go. It sounds like they had only planned to have the builders to their house but, after struggling to explain the layout, thought it would be easier to nip around to yours and show them. That was rude, however I don't think it was premeditated and they might have just got caught up in it. You were rude back but I doubt that was premeditated either and, as you were busy and put on the spot, that was not unreasonable of you. If they hadn't apologised I would have said they were being unreasonable but they came over to say sorry and are obviously willing to take responsibility on this one and aren't dwelling on the fact you were rude in response.

Sounds like the whole issue has already been resolved?

Feelingworried67 Wed 07-Aug-13 00:05:27


This would annoy me terribly! I would be much similar to you and let them in as they caught me off guard.

But they did come and apologise, as you said prior that sometimes they don't take the hint very well, this may have been another time that they didn't realise how strong they came across. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and next time be more on guard and up front, say no! after all, only one month and they will be out of your hair for good!! wink

Relax and don't let it bother yousmile

ChippingInHopHopHop Wed 07-Aug-13 00:05:01

Sorry, that you are having to move - but silver lining, you get to move away from that shared garden situation!

I think it's because you are emotionally in upheaval that it seems awful what they have done - but to be honest, it really shouldn't have been a big deal. It wouldn't bother me, even if it was just a shared party wall issue - but that's hard to see when you are emotional about something.

They were probably just swept along with the excitement of their future plans & talking about it with the builder and didn't stop to think how it might upset you. Thoughtless, but not malicious.

Swallowing Wed 07-Aug-13 00:04:56

That was an incredibly long initial post that could really have been condensed into three lines from paragraph 4.
Yes it was mildly irritating, but enough to write that essay?
They are excited, you are moving, is it really such a big deal?

littlewhitebag Wed 07-Aug-13 00:04:21

I would have done that too tbh. They were in and out in5 minutes and then came and apologized. What else do you want? It is not their fault you are having to move.

Tobyturtle Wed 07-Aug-13 00:04:05

That is very true and that's what I keep thinking!!! He keep saying 'ohh we're looking forward to your house warming!' Don't think so!!!

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