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New job ruined before i've even started :( (bit long - soz)

(63 Posts)
careergal Tue 06-Aug-13 21:42:04

After 10 years in a really great job that I totally enjoy surrounded by lovely colleagues, I took a chance at applying for a great new job at another place, more money, brill prospects.

I worked SO HARD on my application and during the 2 day long interview process, which I feel like I nailed and I have never said that about an interview, nor would I usually blow my own trumpet to that effect. I GOT THE JOB and was happy, couldn't believe it.

It turns out that I vaguely know the girl i'll be replacing as we went to Uni together - I did not realise until the day of the interview when she was observing one of the group tasks. Since then she has been in contact to meet up for drinks which I have done as I feel obliged since I got the job and she always disguises it as 'handing over' (which she has never done).

At every opportunity she keeps telling me, on a continuous loop that (in a nutshell):

She was the reason I got the job
She put a good word in
They were not going to recruit me until she told them i'd be good
The manager was begging her (after my interview) to take back her notice as they had not found anyone suitable but she managed to convince them

I'm so gutted! I want to tell her to STFU but it will go on deaf ears as she has no empathy and if anything looks shocked when I don't say 'oh thank you so much'! It has really upset me to the point that I don't even want the job sad

Say it's not true, I will still never know without asking the manager and presenting myself as needy and emotional (which I'm generally not)!

How do I get past this and AIBU!

RenterNomad Wed 07-Aug-13 10:20:58

Bah. She can't have any "influence" (which implies leverage to make them do something they haven't chosen to do) because she's leaving.

HoikyPoiky Wed 07-Aug-13 09:26:00

You will have got the job fair and square. She watched one task! She sounds needy and stupid.

To be honest even if she did get you the job which she clearly didnt ALL that matters is your preformance from now on.

Congrats and enjoy

HorryIsUpduffed Wed 07-Aug-13 09:25:59

I've been in the situation where someone "put in a good word" for me for a new job. The difference there was that it was someone (actually, two someones) who had previously worked with me and would work with me if I got the job, not someone already on the way out for whom my employment would have made precisely zero difference. And I still had to impress them by virtue of my own brilliance skills and experience anyway, as OP did.

Good luck with new job. Are you getting paid for these handover sessions, btw?

TimeofChange Wed 07-Aug-13 09:22:48

Don't meet up with her again or engage with her, unless it is an official handover on the works premises.
Do not be her friend on FB.

Get her out of your life.

Well done you on getting the job.

MammaTJ Wed 07-Aug-13 09:17:05

Honestly, my take on it would be that the day she handed her notice in, they all breathed a sigh of relief that someone so toxic was leaving. Give it a month, then they will all be queuing up to tell you how awful she was and how much nicer you are.

She will not just have been like this with you.

Justforlaughs Wed 07-Aug-13 08:52:47

Her "putting a good word in" probably amounted to a "oh, I know her, she's nice". No employer will take a person on who doesn't make the grade, whatever his, soon to be ex,-staff member may say. You got the job because you were the best and they could see that you would be good at it. If there was no-one who made the grade then they would have re-advertised. It's not as if there aren't 000,s of people desperate for a job out there, is it? Have confidence in yourself, you got that job because you DESERVE that job, now, enjoy it!

MrsHoarder Wed 07-Aug-13 08:44:22

As for the "begging her to take back her notice", for the company its cheaper to keep current staff than have to go through the hiring process, checks, induction, role-specific training etc. So even if you were slightly better than her they might think that its cheaper as a company to keep her.

And my guess is if there's any truth in that, it was a brief meeting where the manager asked if offering x would mean she would stay. Not begging, just trying to cost-save.

SelectAUserName Wed 07-Aug-13 08:28:59

The best thing is to ignore her insecure neediness and ask for her handover notes to be emailed to you.

Although I confess I'd be tempted to do a bit of game-playing of my own, OP. Next time she starts her loop, I'd just smile and say something like "it's funny how different people see situations differently, isn't it?" If she picked up on it and asks you what you mean, I'd say "let's just say my experience of the offer process has been quite different and leave it there" and if, as is likely, she continued to press it, I'd say "no, honestly, I shouldn't have said anything. You've got your fab new job and I'm sure it will work out brilliantly for you" and then change the subject and refuse to discuss it further.

Tuppenceinred Wed 07-Aug-13 08:28:12

Stop meeting up with her away from the workplace. Professional handovers don't take place over drinks, and should be initiated by your manager. Here, have a grip, the job will be great!

WeleaseWodger Wed 07-Aug-13 08:26:32

I'd show up at these handover sessions with notes to take and start commenting on her lack of professionalism if she fails to actually talk about work. If she starts on you again, just look concerned and say something vague about that's not what you heard through the grapevine...and how worried you are about the first month as you've been lead to believe there's a lot of wrongs they're going to need you to sort out. Mumble apologetically that I'm sure she did her best but you've been lead to believe they're looking to improve things now.

Groovee Wed 07-Aug-13 08:24:49

She's talking crap.

Trills Wed 07-Aug-13 08:15:03

YAB a bit of a drama queen - your new job s not ruined by words from one woman who will not be there.

It doesn't matter what she says because you never have to see her again if you don't want to.

You haven't seen her since university - there is no reason for you to think about her or believe that she says.

TroublesomeEx Wed 07-Aug-13 08:08:42

You'll probably find they've spoken positively about their new recruit at work and she's taken that as a personal criticism.

She's worried about people telling you about how amazing you are and you thinking negatively of her.

Haven't read the other replies.

Is that pretty much what everyone else has said..?

ChippingInHopHopHop Wed 07-Aug-13 00:37:13

LOL - she (almost) achieved what she set out to do - but MN was here to save the day grin She wants you to feel insecure, she wants you to think that no-one else thinks you can do the job, she wants you to fail... all to make her look good. Bitch.

In time you will find ways to drop it into conversation and you will see from the responses that what she has said is utter bullshit.

No company does interviews like that, then simply employs someone because someone has put in a good word for them... it just doesn't work that way.

She's a tit - picture one where her face is everytime you think about her grin

brightpinktoenails Wed 07-Aug-13 00:22:20

She sounds like a tit.

You got the job because of your experience and how you presented yourself.

She needs to get a life. Who on earth would go on to their successor "oh I was ace at my job! Oh you only got the job because I said so! Oh they begged me to stay!"

Like I said, sounds like a tit!

tiggytape Tue 06-Aug-13 23:32:49

Ignore her.
Some people get funny about being replaced at work even if it is their choice to move on.
They don't like to think anyone else can match them let alone might be better than them.

Her behaviour isn't about you, your interview or your suitability for the job, it is totally about her insecurity and her ego (saying how brilliant she is and how much influence she has).

TheDoctrineOfAllan Tue 06-Aug-13 23:14:59

Ignore her!

Turniptwirl Tue 06-Aug-13 23:10:05

Ignore her she sounds like a bitch

No employer would go through a rigorous selection process and then end up with someone they weren't 100% happy with

Congrats on the new job!

IceAddict Tue 06-Aug-13 23:08:14

I would never take someone on, on a "good word" you got the job because you earned it. Ditch that cow she's no use to you. Enjoy your new job grin

Dorris83 Tue 06-Aug-13 23:05:22

Congrats and do t think about this person anymore. You won't be working with her!

You were hired by other people who are NOT this girl, and who want you to work there.

You can now go in and take over the role and really nicely and professionally suggest a few changes to improve how it is done. Basically do it better than her and remember your new boss hired you because you we're the best person for the job, not because the person you're replacing 'put in a good word'

Good luck!

Chaaannggees Tue 06-Aug-13 22:54:07

Don't meet up with her again
Congrats !!

MyNameIsSuz Tue 06-Aug-13 22:49:57

I really feel for you, something similar happened to me. It was a temp contract at my own company, and I guessed during the application process that they hadn't had many applicants as the date for applications was pushed back (after I'd applied). As the person I was covering for was only on leave I had access to her email archives, which I needed to check periodically (so I knew exactly what had been said to certain people about their project). In doing so I found an email chain between her and my boss from the interview period where they were discussing the candidates and how none of us were much good and how they didn't think I had enough experience sad

It was my first week in the job and really got to me, and I shouldn't have let it. It affected my confidence in my abilities, so I was more cautious in decisions and quiet in meetings etc, and affected my relationship with my boss. Eventually I got over it and things really picked up, and by the time I left I got on really well with my boss and had done well at the job.

Just try not to let it get to you, which I know is hard as I know how it feels. They will be happy with your performance if you do the job well, which you know you can as you wouldn't have applied otherwise. And who knows, half that stuff about not wanting her to leave etc they could have just been saying to her to be nice...

GTbaby Tue 06-Aug-13 22:44:53

I went to a local training session and got asking to another lady. When she found out where I worked she made a point of telling me she had turned down my job. I think it's bitchyness.

Ignore. Do a good job. Good luck.

Mia4 Tue 06-Aug-13 22:38:23

She's lying, she wants the ego boost, I doubt her opinion matters that much to be honest OP. I expect a few weeks in you'll hear lots of people slagging her off.

Congrats, enjoy the new job and do your best- i'm sure you'll show her up smile

MalcolmTuckersMum Tue 06-Aug-13 22:36:25

Do a what on her? grin

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