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To not be bothered about other people's wedding anniversaries?

(72 Posts)
ChickenLickenSticken Tue 06-Aug-13 20:10:25

I don't expect people to remember our wedding anniversary and find it an odd concept to remember other people's.

Fair enough if its a biggie and they want to gather people to celebrate with them, but am I out of order to think otherwise a passing "happy 3rd anniversary"is sufficient and that buying a card is just a bit, well, overkill?

I don't expect people to remember significant dates that don't relate to them. Simples.

mrsannekins Tue 06-Aug-13 20:14:38

I always remember the biggies, but like you, I don't get sending cards etc on other annivesaries. DMIL texts me to remind me when her wedding anniversary is so that I can send her a card.

Don't get me wrong, if its mentionned in passing or someone says they're doing something nice one evening or at the weekend, I will always say congratulations, but I don't go out of my way. I don't expect anything else from other people.

WhispersOfWickedness Tue 06-Aug-13 20:20:19

YANBU, I don't remember anyone else's wedding anniversary. Every year we get three cards on our anniversary from other people and whilst it is lovely of them to remember, I am always a bit confused about it!

LindyHemming Tue 06-Aug-13 20:20:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CombineBananaFister Tue 06-Aug-13 20:21:26

I agree unless it's parents and it's a big one 9as they brought you into the world and you should be grateful) , otherwise to me, it's just about you and DH remembering hmm and celebrating hmm

Our 10 year anniversary was this week and i didn't expect anyone to notice but some family did which was lovely even if it was to say very yorkshire-like that we wuda got less fir muurda! But sometimes if you've had a tough run of it and illness it probably feels like more of an achievement/celebration and gets a bit more notice than normal.

YANBU unless they're are mitigating circumstances where it's good to have a bit of positive and rejoice in it

AnyoneforTurps Tue 06-Aug-13 20:22:33

YANBU - I have forgotten my own 6 years out of the 7 since I was married grin

ChickenLickenSticken Tue 06-Aug-13 20:23:07

Oh good I'm glad it's not just me....

I went round someone's house earlier and saw lots of anniversary cards and they said something along the lines of "thanks for remembering" with rolly-eyes and my first thought was "my life is fucking hectic at the moment, I work 4 days a week, have a demanding 19 month old to care for, a husband who works long hours, a house that needs maintaining and tidying, sometimes I put the remote control in the fridge and can't find it for days and you're judging me for forgetting a day that quite frankly bears no relevance on my life".

I just smiled and said "ahh, how nice, happy anniversary, have a nice meal out tonight".

aldiwhore Tue 06-Aug-13 20:23:34

I'm always surprised when we receive anniversary cards from one of our random invitees 13 years ago... but it's nice, and they go on the Christmas Card list.

I don't know how long anyone else has been married unless they tell me. (Including my parents!)

Justforlaughs Tue 06-Aug-13 20:26:15

I try to remember my DPs special ones and that's where MY interest ends tbh. I don't even do anything for my own. I don't really get the whole "we've been together for x number of years today, woopee!" thing

Alconleigh Tue 06-Aug-13 20:26:36

Nope, don't mark people's anniversaries at all. Pretty sketchy on their kids' birthdays as well; there are too darn many of them for a start. I am a caring friend, honest grin

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 06-Aug-13 20:28:01


Besides my parents and grandparents (hey,they've loved each other a long time) I really am not interested in.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 06-Aug-13 20:30:59

I don't remember people's anniversaries and I don't expect them to remember ours either. I'm always surprised when we get a few cards. It's lovely, obviously but I don't expect it, it's something for me and DH to celebrate.

FreeWee Tue 06-Aug-13 20:32:41

I do first wedding anniversaries then just a Facebook message if I remember!

maybe3x Tue 06-Aug-13 20:57:13

YANBU, I do cards for parents and for the 3 friends we've been best man/chief bridesmaid for but other than that no, don't expect random people to remember mine. I have enough trouble getting cards out on time for birthdays!

EndoplasmicReticulum Tue 06-Aug-13 21:34:45

I hardly remember my own to be honest. I don't even know when my parents' is. My in-laws just had a "biggie" and husband didn't organise anything.

Bogeyface Tue 06-Aug-13 21:38:25

Ime the ones that get wanky about you "forgetting" their anniversary are the ones who had the wedding of the century with matching Bride and Groomzillas.

I front it out now. "Oh is it? Happy Anniversary" "Didnt you remember? I thought you would, after all our wedding was such a special day" "Hmmm it was nice wink but I only remember mine and my parents. Even my sister doesnt get a card! After all, who cares but you?"


Lost me a couple of friends but I dont need anyone that self absorbed in my life thank you!

thejoysofboys Tue 06-Aug-13 21:39:21

So it's just me that bothers, is it? I always send a card on the first anniversary to any couple who's wedding we've been to. I think the first year of marriage is special and it's nice to note that you've remembered their day too.

After that I send anniversary cards to close family (PILs, SIL) & to our two sets of best friends, but that's it.

Bogeyface Tue 06-Aug-13 21:39:56

I should add that H and I had 2 anniversaries thanks to a balls up of dates. We had the date we had our big posh humanist wedding and reception and then the date (4 months later) when we had the registry office marriage and the pub piss up. I forgot both, every single year grin

Helltotheno Tue 06-Aug-13 21:40:57

YANBU... as of right now, I'm hazy about the date I married my DH so bit of a reach remembering anyone else's...

Saying that, if anyone else wants to celebrate theirs and invites me along, I'm there if they're not nobbers

AwkwardSquad Tue 06-Aug-13 22:02:59

I'm always a bit perplexed by the idea of anniversaries being marked by anyone except the couple themselves. Why on earth should anyone expect to be congratulated, year on year, for the act of getting married? So solipsistic. YANBU.

busyboysmum Tue 06-Aug-13 22:08:12

Eek just realized it's our 14th wedding anniversary tomorrow (I think) YANBU we don't even mark it ourselves. I would be amazed if anyone else did.

Hulababy Tue 06-Aug-13 22:10:16

I try to remember people's 1st anniversary and then after that just significant ones. If someone mentions theirs on FB or in RL I will say "happy anniversary" or similar, but that's it.

Likewise I don't expect others to remember my anniversary. DH and myself swap cards and we will generally go out for a meal (though we are normally away on holiday so its with DD). Was out 15th anniversary at the weekend and DH was out during the day at a friend's stag do (golf) = but he did compromise and chose to not stay for the night events and came home to share food and a bottle of fizz smile

Katiepoes Tue 06-Aug-13 22:11:09

My Mum remembers ours. Good thing too - I managed to forget my first.

persimmon Tue 06-Aug-13 22:11:15

I don't do anniversaries except biggies. For several years a dear friend sent us a card and my reaction each time as it plopped on the doormat was "Wow, this birthday card from DF is REALLY early!". Totes surprised when I opened it.

SuffolkNWhat Tue 06-Aug-13 22:13:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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