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to want to ditch a 'friend' for this?

(22 Posts)
ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 12:31:45

The person in question was with my DP's best friend for a few years but recently dumped him. I was only friendly to her to make things easier within the 'group' if we were out together etc but she's always been a bit sharp tongued and, for want of a classier word, a bit of a bitch. Most of our friends feel the same way and she's insulted almost all of us on at least one occasion.

Anyway, bumped into this 'friend' yesterday. She was with a group of people I don't really now & her new partner and introduced me as 'so and so's baby mamma' (i.e that's the woman who had a kid with * * ) hmm Didn't actually say my name and started a sentence abut her new BF.

She knows that DS's dad has been utterly horrible & I like to forget about him most of the time.

Sounds petty but a.) I'm not a teenager who says things like 'baby mamma' hmm and b.) I have a name/occupation besides 'baby mamma'....wtaf

I was only staying civil with her to keep the peace but seeing as she's always bringing DS's dad up when she knows full well I'd rather not talk about it and I'm not obliged to have anything to do with her now she's no longer with DPs BF, WIBU to not bother anymore?

Am ignoring a text about a 'movie night' because I know I'll end up replying 'fuck no. I have more constructive things to do with my time away from DS than be insulted, thank you very much'...

aldiwhore Tue 06-Aug-13 12:33:52


I'm tempted to ask why it's taken you so long!

You don't have to do anything other than stop going out of your way, sounds like she'll drift off anyway.

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 12:37:34

I barely see her so haven't bothered and originally felt bad for about the break up...until I realized she'd met someone else instantly & it was all a bit dodgy.

I just don't have time for people that are so venemous!

elQuintoConyo Tue 06-Aug-13 12:49:55

Don't answer the text or any calls, just drift away, it's surprisingly easy to do.
If you bump into her on the street, just smile, say hi in passing and continue walking with purpose as if you are in a hurry.
I've had this, we now just say hi and smile on the street and that's enough for both of us.

Don't waste any more time or head space on her, she sounds a bit pathetic and screwed up. Let her new friends carry that around!

Elsiequadrille Tue 06-Aug-13 12:54:15

She actually used the words 'baby mamma'! shock

No, I wouldn't think twice about dropping the friendship in your circumstances.

Elsiequadrille Tue 06-Aug-13 12:54:37

Yes agree, just drift away.

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 12:57:05

Yes hmm I mean, I'm mid twenties but even then and tongue in cheek, surely that is just not something anyone says?

She's quite insecure about her size & appearance so I've always put it down to her needing to insult others to feel better. Doesn't make it ok obviously.

I'll just drift away & hope she gets the hint!

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 12:58:24

(and obviously, I felt pretty insulted that she used the one thing I dislike most about myself/situation to introduce me to people hmm especially as she knows full bloody well. That can't have been accidental, surely)?

aldiwhore Tue 06-Aug-13 12:59:45

Then you've done your bit as a nice human being. smile

You don't need to do any more!

anklebitersmum Tue 06-Aug-13 13:04:20

Baby's Mamma

That's enough of a reason in my book wink

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 13:05:29

Just wanted to check I wasn't being OTT as it's one of my 'buttons' and she certainly pushed it & it isn't the first time.

I just don't see why I should bother anymore.

And seriously, who insults people or puts them down and then asks them to meet up? She does it to everyone as far as I can tell but hmm

Empress77 Tue 06-Aug-13 13:12:03

I wouldnt have realised babymamma was offensive, I dont see it as a teenage thing? She probably didnt mean anything by it.

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 13:18:18

She didn't just call me a baby mamma. That I could swallow, though it's cringey.

It's the fact she called me ClassyasalanistersExe'sBabyMama

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 13:22:25

(so no name at all, just 'hey, oh this is ClassyasalanistersExe'sBabyMama ' then started talking about how much she now hates her ex who is DPs BF and I actually like and who she basically left for this new guy. I felt bad for her originally as she made out she had to leave DPs BF because she was going away for summer, then less than a week later was with this guy who she'd been seeing 'as a friend' for a few weeks prior to the break up. It's just all a bit dodgy & she's a bit of a nightmare to be honest).

lottieandmia Tue 06-Aug-13 13:24:05

YANBU - life's too short to spend around people you don't like.

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 13:29:26

That's how I feel about it lottie

And she's a tad melodramatic, which I really can't stand even in small doses.

I just stood there at the time because I was sleep deprived after a night with an ill toddler, doing the 'yeah yeah yeah, see you' thing. Spoke to DP about it that evening and it was his reaction (he was quite angry on my behalf) that I thought 'yeah, that was shit actually'. Baby brain definitely lasts long into toddlerhood grin

fubbsy Tue 06-Aug-13 13:29:54

YANBU she obviously doesn't like you or have any respect for you.

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 13:31:40

Probably not.

I'll just drift away slowly & hopefully avoid having to address it with her. It's most definitely not worth it!

meganorks Tue 06-Aug-13 13:33:05

Sounds like you really don't like her and 'baby mamma is awful so just forget her and move on.

But any chance she forgot your name and exp is someone her friend knows? Therefore the common link. Still doesn't justify it though. I am rubbish at remembering to introduce people, partly because I am rubbish with names.

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 13:36:27

Oh god no. We've 'known' each other for years. That's why it was deliberate (well, almost certainly deliberate).

I disliked her occasional bitchy rants about people but since she broke up with DPs BF she's been worse and I genuinely think she's made up a few fibs to make people dislike him etc. Play ground stuff. It's made me like her a whole lot less & I owe her nothing so just want to ignore her, but hoped that I wasn't being OTT, hence posting here smile

HerculePoirotsTache Tue 06-Aug-13 13:45:13

If that had been me I would have said straight away 'actually my name is (proper name) thanks. ' polite but to the point!

ClassyAsALannister Tue 06-Aug-13 13:47:22

^ I wish I had but I was knackered! I just sort of pulled a confused face and then tried to make excuses to get away so I could collapse at home (DS was with a friend so I could catch up on sleep...the saint that she is)!

I spent the majority of the conversation thinking about my pillow and how comfy my new duvet is grin

So actually, I'm a bit cheeky myself...

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