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To ask if this is normal in a 6 year old

(61 Posts)
Thepowerof3 Tue 06-Aug-13 09:56:16

My 6 year old still has tantrums, screaming and crying (not usually in public) she is my eldest so am I BU to ask if other six year olds do this as I would've thought she would've grown out of it by now but obviously she hasn't and I'm driven to distraction

Thepowerof3 Thu 08-Aug-13 17:35:32

That's not the kind of parent I am Davsmum but thanks anyway. Her most recent massive tantrum was about a rice cake if that gives you some perspective

valiumredhead Thu 08-Aug-13 17:50:16

Some kids are prone to tantrums, just as adults are, it's their personalities. Regardless of how you parent them. Over tiredness and hunger definitely play a part. A combination of ignoring, although sometimes that makes it worse and distraction definitely used to help.

Thepowerof3 Thu 08-Aug-13 17:54:21

That's exactly what I thought Valium, I have 3 DCs and parent them in the same way but only one is tantrum prone

valiumredhead Thu 08-Aug-13 18:02:20

Actually thinking back 'mummy's secret chocolate' helped diffuse a lot of tantrums toowink

Tubemole1 Thu 08-Aug-13 18:44:10

My 6 nearly seven year old has these tantrums.

It usually happens if she's tired, hungry or doesn't get her own way. She also does it if she's bored. She likes to shake her tail feathers and list all the ways we have failed her hmm . She pushes boundaries especially in front of GPs. My ILS give it the contempt it deserves, but my df laughs at her, making it worse angry .

At school she's an angel.

We say, let it all out dear, cos there's no reasoning with her. Then when she's calm, we ask, really? What was that about? She whinges about what is wrong which is often different from the original reason so its hard to keep up sometimes.

We haven't mastered the recognition of triggers. Dh, bless him, tries to reason with her but that gets nowhere. Now, I try and keep her belly full, her interest engaged and get her to bed on time, but sometimes it can be something totally different. Sometimes, she can't hit the ball with a bat. Sometimes, she comes second in a race. Sometimes, I don't listen. Sometimes, her confidence is zero.
We are totally winging this parenting lark. Very badly, on occasion sad .

LingDiLong Thu 08-Aug-13 19:15:21

Davsmum, with the greatest of respect, none of that is rocket science. I would argue that, in fact, lots of people DO link all that to tantrums! Seriously, if there was a cast iron way of preventing them and stopping all children from having any tantrums ever, then someone would have written a book by now and made a million.

These are some of the reasons my DS has tantrums; if one of his sisters talks over him - even if I am there to say 'wait please, DS is talking let him finish', there are times (usually when he's tired) that this sends him loopy. If when he says 'thank you' it isn't acknowledged with a 'you're welcome' or 'that's ok'. If he can't do something that he feels he should be able to do i.e. he had a massive tantrum/meltdown at our local leisure centre because he was allowed to go on a slide but he was too scared to go on it. He felt he HAD to go on it because it was suitable for his age but he was frightened - he couldn't compute this situation at all!

I KNOW the reasons, I do try and prevent them but they aren't always preventable.

JerseySpud Thu 08-Aug-13 19:48:53

I have a 6 year old dd

The world is ending on a regular basis.

Tantruming at 6 is totally normal.

AaDB Thu 08-Aug-13 20:06:49

Ds doesn't tantrum by screaming but instead does grumpy storming. As he can control himself at school, he can do so at home or face the consequences. I send him to his room, not for time out but to calm down. He had a sticker reward chat and he had to take one off. It tests my patience to the limit.

We both get hungry + angry=hangry. That is something his Dad/my DH had to live with. wink

Thepowerof3 Thu 08-Aug-13 20:11:21

So glad to know she's not the only one!

AaDB Thu 08-Aug-13 20:55:21

6 is still little. Old enough to deal with consequences but still to Little to be expected to behave without incident. I'm strict because I worry if I'm not, he will be a nightmare as a teenager.

Davsmum Fri 09-Aug-13 17:13:38

LingDiLong,.. Yes I get your point and I think personality can play a part in the likelihood of a child being a tantrum child so awareness of triggers is even more important.
Of course, there is no cast iron way of preventing all tantrums and I think many children grow out of them whether you handle them right or wrong!

Being over tired will also make a tantrum more likely - but usually thes tantrums are different,.. more of a distress type of tantrum than an anger or frustration one.

As for adults having tantrums as a few people have mentioned; this is definitely a personality issue which has persisted because it has not been dealt with properly in childhood.
I know adults who have tantrums - but they only have them with people who allow them. People are often afraid of other adults tantrums and give in to them. Its totally manipulative and immature but its amazing how quickly they stop it if someone won't put up with it.

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