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This Ramadan fasting ...[title edited by MNHQ]

(396 Posts)
Wuldric Mon 05-Aug-13 22:38:48

I have a talented and lovely junior who happens to be Muslim. In the last month she has recorded 6 days off sick, and left work early on three additional occasions as she has fainted.

I don't have any personal bias against any form of religion. Well that's not actually true. Being an atheist, I am biased against all forms of religion, But I am balanced against all of them equally IYSWIM. Lest you all accuse me of xenophobia or something, I am not white and was not born in the UK. I am just impatient with this.

She has no weight to spare to start with. She cannot eat until after dusk. Dusk is pretty late in the UK in summertime. So in the evening she eats at 10. She is supposed to eat before dawn rises although my suspicion is that she is skipping this meal, because in her home it takes place at 3am. She is not allowed so much as a drink of water in between times. The offices are airconditioned, but her home and her journey to work are not.

This fasting tomfoolery is making my lovely junior ill. She looks like a famine victim - her face is just gaunt. It is not good for her. AIBU to think this is all nonsense?

BrokenSunglasses Mon 05-Aug-13 22:42:00

YABU to think it is nonsense, YANBU to be worried about this girl, and YANBU to be pissed off that it is causing her to have sick days (if fasting is whats causing them).

FadBook Mon 05-Aug-13 22:42:35

I couldn't fast. I know I'd be ill.

She is very committed to her faith. Is her faith nonsense? No. Is fasting dangerous to this particular person? Yes, most likely.

All you can do is look out for her and sweep the absence and leaving early under the carpet for now.

Kormachameleon Mon 05-Aug-13 22:42:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magimedi Mon 05-Aug-13 22:43:50

I agree with you that it is utter nonsense - as are all religious dictats.

But it is tolerated in our society, so you have to go along with it. Sadly.

Marshy Mon 05-Aug-13 22:44:28

Well, I think your concern for her is admirable, you YABU to describe this as nonsense, and should prepare for a flaming. I say this as a confirmed atheist.

Xmasbaby11 Mon 05-Aug-13 22:46:34

I wouldn't call it nonsense as I do have respect for the strength of their religion. I think the idea is it is SUPPOSED to be very tough on those who take part in Ramadan. However, YANBU to be worried about your junior as her health is suffering.

Coconutty Mon 05-Aug-13 22:46:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Mon 05-Aug-13 22:46:58

Ramadan is lovely. I fast and I'm not even Muslim (XH is). I love it. Iftar is at 8.40pm not 10pm today, the latest it was at the start was 9.15. I don't get up at 3 am to eat, it's not necessary. There is no reason to be wasting away during ramadan, most families have lots of delicious food and desserts, I reckon I can pack away 1500 calories over the evening!
Ramadan is not supposed to make you ill, if you are unwell then you don't fast. If it's making you ill then you are doing it wrong.

LemonPeculiarJones Mon 05-Aug-13 22:47:14

YANBU. Ridiculous. Completely fabricated 'rules' to reinforce religious fairy tales.

It's a shame.

steth Mon 05-Aug-13 22:47:35

YABU. What an inflammatory heading...

SteepApproach Mon 05-Aug-13 22:47:38

Junior she may be but she's a grown woman and it's her choice. Further, what might not benefit her physically, may well benefit her mentally and emotionally.

People follow different diets all the time. What's that latest one? The 5:2?

I'm an atheist too, if it matters.

ArgyMargy Mon 05-Aug-13 22:48:07

YABU. You have no understanding of why she is doing this and just see it as a burden. Why not try to appreciate her point of view? You might learn something.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Mon 05-Aug-13 22:49:44

Those of you saying it's ridiculous have no idea what ramadan is about, clearly.

SofiaVagueara Mon 05-Aug-13 22:50:02

I wonder what's going to happen in a few years when it falls in June? If they can only eat between 10-3 now it's going to be even shorter then, maybe 11-1. It wasn't so bad a few years back or a decade ago when it was in the autumn, then it was more like 8pm-7am it was possible to eat.

It's become a lot stricter with Islam's lurch towards fundamentalism. There used to be a lot more leeway for health, menstruation, pregnancy and age which seems to have been eroded in recent years. Also kids younger and younger doing it which didn't happen a decade ago in anything like the numbers.

navada Mon 05-Aug-13 22:50:04

I'd give her a mars bar while no ones looking, tell her to eat it under her desk or something.

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Mon 05-Aug-13 22:51:42

Why should tbe op brush her absences and lateness under the carpet?

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Mon 05-Aug-13 22:53:35

Sofia official sunset times in the middle of June are 9.22pm at the latest. There is still leeway for mestruation, pregnancy, illness, age, travellers, children. Maybe certain communities are stricter but if so they are interpreting it wrong.

TheCrackFox Mon 05-Aug-13 22:53:39

Well it is her life, so it us up to her,but she is wasting her time. Like all religion.

"Why not try to appreciate her point of view? You might learn something."

Learn how long you can go without food before you faint? Well, they do say every day's a school day....

Marshy Mon 05-Aug-13 22:54:19

I'm not sure that would work navada. How about suggesting she uses some of her annual leave during this time? At least then her absence would be planned

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Mon 05-Aug-13 22:54:38

Navada, what a silly suggestion. Islam is in the heart, not external observance.

Fakebook Mon 05-Aug-13 22:54:58

You don't even understand why she does it or the proper times when the fast ends (its not 10pm! its around 8pm now and the length gets shorter everyday, so each fast is easier than the day before) For that YABU. Also, I really doubt she'd appreciate you calling Ramadan nonsense. How would you like it if someone called something you celebrated nonsense?

Wuldric Mon 05-Aug-13 22:55:39

I'd like nothing better than to give her a hearty meal and a bottle of water. Or even a mars bar. But she wouldn't accept it and it would be wrong to offer it. She's asked to be left out of team meals etc during Ramadan, which is obviously fine. Our (small) team is picking up all the slack of course. It's just that it is so obviously making her ill.

It's nearly over thankfully. Another week and I'd be having to take her to one side and asking her about whether or not she's skipping the breakfast and whether or not she's okay and should i get occupational health involved ....

TabithaStephens Mon 05-Aug-13 22:55:58

It's stupid. It was never supposed to be a 18+ hour fast which is what it is in Britain in the summer. It's dangerous to not take in liquid for all that time, especially when the weather is warm.

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