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customer services getting my title wrong

(165 Posts)
gasman Mon 05-Aug-13 10:30:50

I have just phoned a major UK retailer (famed for their customer service). Despite me introducing myself and then correcting them once they persisted on calling me Mrs Gasman.

I am not Mrs Gasman. I am Dr Gasman. They were also being unhelpful in actually dealing with my problem so I terminated the call. I told them it was because they couldn't get my name right.


Trills Mon 05-Aug-13 11:39:57


It's not about status, its about requesting a title and then not using it.

If they ask your name, and you say Sarah, and they then call you Susan, you don't have much faith in their ability to get things right.

Didactylos Mon 05-Aug-13 11:42:58

am with you in a way so YAB a little U (another gasperson here who also sometimes gets irritated with this crap)
its not about being called Dr, its about them checking what your name is/ you want to be called and then not using it.

Ive been asked by a caller my name (lets say Elizabeth as a random example, not my actual name) and then been asked if they can call you a diminutive of it eg Liz, Libby, Betsy or Lizzy, or they just do it without asking. Drives me insane - first they ask your first name to get all pally and then its ' do you mind if I call you... ? yes, I do actually

Its a bit of a 'first world problems' thing, but it grates

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 05-Aug-13 11:48:09

YANBU. If it were a man who said 'my title is Doctor' I wonder if the customer-service person would try a bit harder to get it right?

And it is basic customer service, I think, to listen to what callers ask for and oblige. Especially with things that are important to them, even if they seem trivial to the member of staff.

Amarena Mon 05-Aug-13 11:48:50

Oh God, I don't know why I read this forum it winds me up so much.

Why are some unkind people so keen to put down and be bloody NASTY to others? They must have sad little lives to get off on that.

OP, it drives me mad too. It is rude, more than anything. And I totally agree - wtf has my marital status got to do with anything. Don't get me started on the Mrs = married, Mr = who knows? thing.

If I'd worked hard and had obtained a Dr title, YES, I'd flipping well use it and want to be called it too. So shoot me.


inallmydays Mon 05-Aug-13 11:53:19

i would of thought dr was only used at work ,why on earth would anyone want you use it instead of miss or mrs outside of work .

CalvinHobbesMum Mon 05-Aug-13 12:01:51

I hate being asked for a title. What does it matter whether I'm married or not? And Ms just sounds like I'm a rampant feminist.

I once put down 'Comrade' as my title. Am thinking of upgrading to 'Countess' though.

Didactylos Mon 05-Aug-13 12:02:22

Inall, I use it all the time because thats my title, Ive earned it and everything eg house, loans, bank, credit etc are in that name. Someone can go and look up Dr Didactylos (not my real name!) on the GMC register, or look on medline for my papers and research and know exactly who I am, and I am happy with this
I dont see why I have to advertise whether I am married, and then if I chose to use Miss or Mrs, these also bring up the other issue - that I am married but have not changed my name

I think the right to decide what you are called and how you define yourself is pretty important. If I ever become a Lady, Countess, Margrave, Duchess or Archbishop you can be sure Ill be using those titles, and people can look me up in Debretts grin

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 05-Aug-13 12:02:51

Calvin, how about 'Wing Commander'? 'Rear Admiral'? grin

skylerwhite Mon 05-Aug-13 12:02:53

You would have thought wrong, then. If asked for my title, I give it, whether it's in work or not. As do the other male drs that I know. What's the problem?

skylerwhite Mon 05-Aug-13 12:05:21

Surely it's simply courteous to address people using their preferred title (so long as they are entitled to use it, of course). In a customer service environment I would have thought this was self-evident.

LessMissAbs Mon 05-Aug-13 12:10:25

Lady Clarice YANBU. If it were a man who said 'my title is Doctor' I wonder if the customer-service person would try a bit harder to get it right

is right. This assumption that all adult women are married gets on my goat. When I inevitably get called Mrs LessMissAbs on the phone, I instinctively look over my shoulder for my (dead) mother. Many women are a Miss professionally so why not adopt that as standard or simply ask, if the UK insists on keeping this anachronism (unlike for instance France)?

thebody Mon 05-Aug-13 12:17:14

no I agree with you op.

if I had ever had the brains to be a doctor and the years if study that goes with it I would bloody well want people to know!!

good on you and so sorry you have all this other shite to deal with.

seems to go like this sometimes. as my dm says 'pour another load of shit on me this lots dry'

EarlyIntheMorning Mon 05-Aug-13 12:25:16

and ridiculous

Woodhead Mon 05-Aug-13 12:27:23

YANBU at all. They insisted on using a title, and then wouldn't use your correct title. Beggars belief really.

The only time I don't mind being addressed as Mrs is when it's from french or german students, for whom it is a natural conversion from madam/frau.

Crinkle77 Mon 05-Aug-13 12:31:27

I think you really need to get over yourself. How is the person on the phone supposed to know that you would prefer to be called by your first name than Mrs

SelectAUserName Mon 05-Aug-13 12:34:47

It would have irritated me and I might have thought them rather ignorant if they'd specifically asked for a title then used a different one, but probably not to the extent that I'd start a thread on an internet forum about it.

Hope you get all the important stuff sorted out, OP, must be v stressful.

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy Mon 05-Aug-13 12:38:19

I'm plain old Ms, but I can understand this.

You're in a vulnerable position and you feel upset because they're not even bothering to get your title right. It is trivial but I can totally understand throwing a wobbly over this when there are other things on your plate you can't. I'm sorry to hear about your mum.

I think on the whole, if you weren't actually getting what you needed from the call, you might as well tell them what they did wrong before putting the phone down, yes. I don't get the issue with that really. It's up to them if they take it on board, but if someone works in customer services they need to get feedback about what people find annoying and what they don't.

skylerwhite Mon 05-Aug-13 12:42:04

Crinkle the OP told the customer service agent her title. They continued to call her Mrs.

I'm Dr White [maiden name]. I have never been called Mrs White. Mrs White is my mother, not me. Why is this so hard for people to grasp?

UnicornsPooGlitter Mon 05-Aug-13 12:43:36

YA definitely NBU. But threads about this topic in chat don't generally go well, let alone threads in AIBU.

Your title is Dr, and you had already told them that.

Miss / Mrs indicates marital status which is generally irrelevant; these titles will hopefully disappear over time.

Ms is okay at a push, but I prefer Dr Glitter.

lifesgreatquestions Mon 05-Aug-13 12:49:02

I'm another one who's got your back on this OP. My marital status is my own business, it's Dr if you ask, and if you don't, and call me Mrs Lifesgreat... I will correct you saying I didn't say I was married and offer you my first name to use. If they continued to get it wrong after that I would assume they were incompetent or rude. And I agree also that this would be less likely to happen with men. Our titles are important, whichever one we choose, they identify us, they are meaningful.

LadybirdsEverywhere Mon 05-Aug-13 13:01:09

It is not pretentious to use the title for which you have worked hard.
If the customer service person asked for your title, they should have been polite enough to use it.

Wuldric Mon 05-Aug-13 13:03:42

I am childishly delighted when Thistle Hotels refer to me as Dr Wuldric. I am not a medical doctor, nor do I have phd, so I am in no way entitled to the title they have chosen, somewhat randomly to bestow on me.


WestieMamma Mon 05-Aug-13 13:14:14

The issues isn't that I think Dr is a better title it is just that I hate being called Mrs (what the fuck is my marital status got to do with them anyway? )

It's got as much to do with them as your professional status. So unless you were contacting them in a professional capacity then YABU.

skylerwhite Mon 05-Aug-13 13:17:20

If the customer service agent wished to address the OP by her title, he/she should have used the title that the OP identified as her title. It's really not that complicated.

Woodhead Mon 05-Aug-13 13:20:42

Neither professional status or marital status should be of interest to a customer service department.

They should use Ms as default for adult woman (has the benefit of being universally correct), and I'm willing to bet the OP would not have objected to Ms in the slightest. Given that they asked though, they should then use the customer's preference, whatever that may be.

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