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AIBU?

To not want our male neighbour to take 3.5 DD to the toilet

121 replies

helenafalco · 04/08/2013 22:23

First time poster so please be gentle.

We are friendly with neighbours across the road, we have recently started going to each others homes for tea or coffee. This afternoon DD was outside in neighbour's front garden with H when she decided she didnt want her dad to take her to the toilet but wanted neighbour to take her instead. Luckly I was watching through the window so when I saw DD going inside the house with neighbour I rushed out to get her by which point she was upstairs in the toilet with him. Im absolutely fuming and angry but H doesnt think there is anything wrong with what he has done. He sems to think that the fact he has worked with children in the past and his wife works with children means they are ok in his books. Can I just mention that they have no children his choice not the wife's who is considering leaving him after 10 years of marriage due to him not wanting children
H is being unreasonable surely? :(

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Edendance · 04/08/2013 22:25

Would you think the same if it was a woman?

BadgersRetreat · 04/08/2013 22:26

Oh right, so because we don't have kids my DH must be a pervert. Ok.

Shakirasma · 04/08/2013 22:27

YABU

LindyHemming · 04/08/2013 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

welshfirsttimemummy · 04/08/2013 22:27

Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone I didn't really know taking any of my children to the toilet (or anywhere I could not see them)

readysteady · 04/08/2013 22:28

:(

LaurieFairyCake · 04/08/2013 22:28

No, I don't think your dh is unreasonable.

And since the vast majority of abuse happens in families I would be less wary of a man who didn't want children.

Whothefuckfarted · 04/08/2013 22:28

I think you are being very very very very unreasonable.

SuckAtRelationships · 04/08/2013 22:28

YABU. If it just because he is a man and doesn't want kids of his own. VVVU

You have to decide who takes your daughter to the toilet, but on these reasons it's all very.....

HollyBerryBush · 04/08/2013 22:28

YABU and frankly weird

CoolItKittens · 04/08/2013 22:28

YABU. And I really don't see why him not having or wanting children of his own is relevant.

readysteady · 04/08/2013 22:29

The :( is me thinking YABU by the way.

complexnumber · 04/08/2013 22:29

Your DH made his judgement based on what he knew and the situation.

You barged in and over ruled his judgement.

Trust him! He is a parent as well.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 04/08/2013 22:29

YANBU. Only myself or DH take DS to the toilet unless we are at home and he goes himself. Only exceptions are grandparents, aunties etc while babysitting.

heidihole · 04/08/2013 22:29

YABU poor guy.

Imagine a childless women taking a 3.5 year old little boy to the toilet.

No one would bat an eye lid!!

Ra88 · 04/08/2013 22:29

I wouldn't allow anyone that wasn't a VERY close friend / relative take my dd to the toilet

littlemisswise · 04/08/2013 22:30

YABU and OTT.

okthen · 04/08/2013 22:30

Yes your H was unreasonable- not because your neighbour is a perv but because it is not the poor bloke's job to wipe your child's bum! He probably felt really uncomfortable, I know I would.

Stropzilla · 04/08/2013 22:30

Unless you dislike him or have reason to mistrust him I'd say YABU. It's nice that even though he doesn't want kids he still likes them. I have no problems with my male next door neighbour taking my dd to the loo.

Not sure how it's relevant that his wife is thinking of leaving him?

cocolepew · 04/08/2013 22:31

YANBU.

Oreocrumbs · 04/08/2013 22:31

I would and do let my neighbour take DD to the toilet, we are friends. Just a few days ago their DD ran into my bathroom for a wee while my DP was in there having a shave.

None of us thought anything of it.

Is there a reason this makes you so uncomfortable? On the info so far I can't see anything to be phased by.

helenafalco · 04/08/2013 22:33

ok maybe mentioning him not wanting children was not relevant but i just don't feel comfortable with him taking DD to the toilet i would have felt the same about anyone i don't know very well

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makingdoo · 04/08/2013 22:33

Ok so my DH must be a bloody pervert based on your logic.

Would you feel the same if if was his wife?

YABU and majorly judgey

BlingLoving · 04/08/2013 22:33

Yabu. Although I would not ask a childless person to take my child to the loo full stop. Because its unfair, not because I wood worry about abuse.

Sirzy · 04/08/2013 22:34

I am with the majority. Would have have reacted the same to a woman taking her?

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