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AIBU?

To not take back this dress

30 replies

Hemlet · 02/08/2013 10:23

I sold a dress to a friend of mine, not a good friend but someone I know through others. I sold it to her over a week ago and dropped it round to her about 4 days after she paid for it due to her not giving me her address despite asking when i could take it round several times.

She's contacted me today to say she's tried it on and it doesn't fit. I don't have the money to give back to her and I can't return it to where I originally got it from (ebay). She's laid a massive guilt trip on me saying "I guess I've learnt my lesson not to buy off people".

I'd have been happy to take it back off her if she'd tried it on a day or so after I'd dropped it over but a week later the money is long gone. I'm on maternity leave and don't have a spare £25 lying around.

Am I being unreasonable not to refund her?

OP posts:

Report

ThisWayForCrazy · 02/08/2013 10:28

No YANBU. There is nothing wrong with the dress, it's not ruined or miss sold, it just doesn't fit her, which is not your problem.

I would reply saying "Oh, I'm really sorry about that. I'm sure you'll be able to sell it on"

HorryIsUpduffed · 02/08/2013 10:28

She should really have asked to try it on first. You aren't a shop and have no obligations.

I'd recommend she try to sell it on again.

CustardOmlet · 02/08/2013 10:29

I think she summed it up herself, never mix friendship with money. She should have tried it before buying it from you.

ICanSeeTheSeaFromHere · 02/08/2013 10:29

I think it depends how you sold it... Ebay, FB, 'oh such and such is looking for that' etc.

Hemlet · 02/08/2013 10:30

Yeah I've suggested she put it on eBay or Facebook to sell it on but all I got back was 'I can't use eBay and no-ones going to pay £25 for it on Facebook'.

I sold it to her via Facebook.

OP posts:

Cherriesarelovely · 02/08/2013 10:32

How silly that she didn't try it on first! What a strange comment "no-one's going to pay £25 for it on fbook" when that is where she bought it!

Hemlet · 02/08/2013 10:38

There was a photo and I told her that if it didn't fit I would take it back if she tried it on that day or the next and she was all 'Oh no no that's Ok' so I think it's unfair she's laying this on me now.

OP posts:

HorryIsUpduffed · 02/08/2013 10:38

what an idiot.

DoctorRobert · 02/08/2013 10:39

YANBU. You're not a shop.

Cherriesarelovely · 02/08/2013 10:40

Well that's that then. Refer her back to your previous message and say that over a week is taking the mickey. Some people can BVU!

Hemlet · 02/08/2013 10:43

Thanks you've all made me feel better. I just feel really bad that she's making out that I'm being a bitch because I won't refund her.

OP posts:

Crinkle77 · 02/08/2013 10:44

yanbu. you offered her a refund if she tried it on that day or the next and she said no. It's pretty clear cut to me.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 02/08/2013 10:44

See I'd probably refund. She was silly not to try it on but it's hardly her fault it doesn't fit. Most of us have got stuff home in our size that doesn't fit when u tried it on.

It's not your fault it doesn't fit but it's not her fault you have t got the money to refund either. Just one of those things. I'd personally would just refund her and sell it on myself.

oscarwilde · 02/08/2013 10:49

You could just tell her that the money is gone and if she'd tried it on immediately it wouldn't have been a problem. You could offer to sell it on for her and give her the money if she doesn't have an ebay account?

Cherriesarelovely · 02/08/2013 10:50

That probably means you are a nice considerate person who doesn't like to fall out with people. That doesn't mean you have to be a doormat though. You gave her perfectly reasonable suggestion , try it on in the next day or so, and she chose to ignore that. Hope she leaves you alone!

Cherriesarelovely · 02/08/2013 10:52

Or go with OscarWilde's suggestion if you are feeling very generous!

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 02/08/2013 10:58

The whole post just shouts "I can't return it to eBay so I'm not going to let her return it to me" just seems a bit petty.

I'm sure the op doesn't mean it like that and that I'm just interpreting it wrong but I don't agree it's worth loosing a friend over.

But then I've bought stuff before and thought to myself, ill try it on later, then kids are up late or we have to rush out and before I know it , it has been a few days. If this friend isn't usually the difficult sort I'd give her the benefit if the doubt that's all.

I'd never buy something I couldn't return though but that's just me.

pudcat · 02/08/2013 11:06

Are you sure it doesn't fit, or has she worn to an event and now has no more use for it?

Hemlet · 02/08/2013 11:06

If I had the money I'd refund her caffinedrip. I can't magic it out of thin air. I'm struggling as it is which is why I'm selling my things. I told her that I'd refund her if there was any problem a couple of days later which she refused anyway.

I literally don't have the money to give her. As I said she's not a good friend, more an acquaintance, I like to keep people happy but I'm not getting enough money to be able to give someone £25 just like that.

OP posts:

Hemlet · 02/08/2013 11:09

I don't know her well enough to know whether she is normally difficult or not.

OP posts:

Turniptwirl · 02/08/2013 11:12

Yanbu as she's had it ages before bothering to try it on. If she tried it on straight away and it didn't fit you'd have refunded her and sold it on to someone else but after this long you reasonably assumed it was fine and spent the money

eBay is extremely easy to use and often has free listing weekends so she's being daft to say she can't sell it on herself

BlueGoddess · 02/08/2013 11:13

If she's laying the guilt trip on you, then do the same back....something like

"I'm really sorry, but that money has gone on food for the kids this week now!"

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HorryIsUpduffed · 02/08/2013 11:16

Ooh that's a good shout pud - she's worn it already and doesn't need it any more or doesn't like it as much as she hoped to

Fallout1977 · 02/08/2013 11:17

It's not your job to make sure it fit anyway as you are not a shop. She should have tried it on before she paid for it or except the consequences of that mistake. She is just being super lazy and can't be arsed to put it on eBay or fb. Don't worry about it and stand your ground.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 02/08/2013 11:19

Could you not offer a compromise? Maybe let her choose something else. It's worth asking isn't it? Or as someone else suggested sell it for her.

This is why I would never sell to friends. Even if she's not a close friend of yours she's obviously friends with your friends. Just there's potential for a big fall out here if not everyone sees it your way.

She probably just assumed it would be ok and that because she knows you there wouldn't be a problem taking it back. and you probably thought you'd got rid of the dress fair and square. If it was complete strangers then it wouldn't be a problem but as you know each other you might not come out looking good even though its not your fault.

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