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to think everyone who opposes abortion in Ireland should read this?

(95 Posts)
skylerwhite Wed 31-Jul-13 19:06:37

I had tears in my eyes reading this heart-rending story. This is a man writing about the experience he and his wife had when they were told that their much-wanted pregnancy was 'incompatible with life' due to a fatal foetal abnormality, and the grief and pain they went through as a result of having to travel to England to terminate the pregnancy.

And the bill which was just signed into law won't make a blind bit of difference to women in similar awful situations. Those with money will travel; those without are just left to put up with it. It's so frustrating and so upsetting, it makes me so fucking ANGRY.

gonerogue Wed 31-Jul-13 19:33:14

I have seen so many stories like this on the TMFR (Termination for Medical Reaons) Facebook page. Each one I have forced myself to read through my tears as people open up about their harrowing experiences.

I love living in Ireland but I am in such despair when there was a chance to let people who faced this horrible decision, and the cowards in the Dail let the pro life movement, and what the older generation's reaction might be influence their decision.


NotYoMomma Wed 31-Jul-13 19:43:36

I wont even visit Ireland when I am pregnant. horrific

skylerwhite Wed 31-Jul-13 21:13:04

Can't say that I blame you, NotYoMomma. It's a disgraceful state of affairs.

makingdoo Wed 31-Jul-13 21:17:03

It's such a mess. In my opinion we are a disgrace. These stories make me so mad.

There has been discussion in Ireland about this for so long. Our politicians are a joke.

neunundneunzigluftballons Wed 31-Jul-13 21:27:16

The law is such a joke. I was hoping it would be referred to the supreme court because I reckon it might not have met the burden required by the constitution and then we could have had a referendum.

skylerwhite Wed 31-Jul-13 21:29:02

I was hoping that too. I wonder if that's why Michael D called the Council of State.

WeShouldOpenABar Wed 31-Jul-13 23:10:33

I was hoping that too. from conversations with my mother she has a genuine belief that if you make it available at all women will be getting abortions left right and centre just for the sheet hell of it. I know she genuinely believes women would make that decision so lightly and is immovable in that opinion. How I could have been raised by someone with such a differing viewpoint baffles me. There's always adoption is a point she also makes which just shows how little people understand about how backwards our adoption laws also are sad

LucyBabs Wed 31-Jul-13 23:17:14

notyomomma If you don't normally reside in Ireland then this won't effect you. If you were visiting Ireland the maternity care you would receive would be excellent.

I have faced this situation, I live in Ireland, i was pregnant and I was told my baby wouldn't live I carried the pregnancy to 20 weeks. It was torture and not one doctor in Ireland could help me.
Its barbaric.

Fucking pro life make my blood boil!

5madthings Wed 31-Jul-13 23:18:39


the abortion laws in ireland are a disgrace.

and i suspect it wont be long until.the new bit re a woman havinh to be suicidal leads to an actual suicide. prob a young girl who thinks if she attempts suicide she may then be allowed an abortion, but will end up actually killing herself sad

5madthings Wed 31-Jul-13 23:19:33

lucybabs i am sorry for your experience and loss xxx

tearsofamum Wed 31-Jul-13 23:22:06

Have namechanged

We lost our DD to anencephaly a few years ago. The heartache of being told at your 20 week scan that your baby is incompatible with life is unimaginable. Thankfully we had the choice to spare our family further anguish and end the pregnancy. Those few days between finding out and going through labour were torture. I cant even begin to imagine how much being forced to term would mess with your head/relationship.

LucyBabs Wed 31-Jul-13 23:24:34

Very true 5madthings

I remember watching the debate a few months back and some mental health doctor saying how suicide during pregnancy was practically unheard of, fair enough but how often do we hear of the women who attempted suicide?

neunundneunzigluftballons Wed 31-Jul-13 23:25:26

Lucybabs and tearsofamum I am so sorry for your losses and I am really sorry that you suffered at the hands of a completely immature state on top of dealing with such heartbreaking circumstances.

unfortunately our maternity system has its own problems too from what I have been exposed to, not for everyone thankfully but a reasonable minority.

thebody Wed 31-Jul-13 23:25:29

Lucy, how bloody dreadful for you.

to me any country that doesn't allow abortion effectively 'on demand' is a disgrace.

any person trying to control another woman's fertility choices Is a disgrace.

LucyBabs Wed 31-Jul-13 23:25:47

So very sorry for your loss tearsofamum

There are too many women their partners and families having to deal with this

skylerwhite Wed 31-Jul-13 23:42:30

Lucybabs and tearsofamum I am very sorry for your trouble. It's shameful that Ireland worsens the distress and grief of women in your situations by such misogynistic and hypocritical laws.

But notyomomma is right : if she were visiting Ireland while pregnant, and became suddenly and seriously ill, there is a chance she could end up in the type of awful situation that Savita H and her husband found themselves in. This is not to detract from the generally excellent maternity care.

opilo Wed 31-Jul-13 23:47:10

Meh, I'm pro-choice but its up to Ireland and their citizens what they want to do.

whitesugar Thu 01-Aug-13 00:42:49

I agree entirely and am appalled that anyone would have to leave the country in such terrible circumstances. Ireland is a nice place but is run by a pack of mysoginists who pander to right wing Catholics because they want their vote. It is beyond shameful. They debate it for hours into the night at the dail half pissed blithely ignoring the fact that at least 10 women a day travel to England for terminations due to crisis pregnancies. The trauma and the cost those women and girls suffer is dreadful. Lovely behaviour for a country which purports to be so Christian and caring. I can't even bear to watch telly or read the papers because it absolutely sickens me. I am so sorry for the women who have posted about their loss.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Thu 01-Aug-13 00:47:19

This happened to close friends earlier in the year.

Every year approx 1800 couples get this news. About 80% of them travel.

It is SHAMEFUL and I am so, so glad people are beginning to speak and campaign about it.

Alconleigh Thu 01-Aug-13 00:48:26

Their citizens come to the UK to have abortions. They know it, we know it, it's a coward's charter. they need to grow the fuck up and make it properly legal. Mind you, so do the mainland; all this 2 doctor permission hoops is nonsense. We need abortion on demand.

seanbonbon Thu 01-Aug-13 08:14:46

Sorry, the mainland??

seanbonbon Thu 01-Aug-13 08:19:40

Agree something more needs to be done, anyone who is suicidal is obv not in their right mind and the idea that they will be in a position to come forward and jump through all these hoops is crazy.

Also not all women will be suicidal but that's not to say a pregnancy couldn't be ruining your life.

Bruthastortoise Thu 01-Aug-13 08:21:08

Um you do all know that depending where you are in the UK you could be facing nearly exactly the same situation? There are British women who are bring denied the right to an abortion so maybe we should focus our energies on that before heavily criticising other nations (obvious disclaimer if you live in RoI. It's a terrible situation.)

bumbleymummy Thu 01-Aug-13 08:22:05

Very sad story. Sorry for anyone who has had to go through that.

There is a big difference between allowing abortion in the case of fatal foetal abnormalities and providing it 'on demand' though.

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