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To have left them all to go and get something to eat?

(273 Posts)
DfanjoUnchained Tue 30-Jul-13 21:01:43

In short:

Dp's mother and sister come over at 3pm, still sitting around at 7.30pm but don't want to eat.

I'm starving, having a very painful and heavy period (sorry) and ds (7months) needs to eat too. I didnt have lunch either as ds teething and v difficult at the moment.

Dp was meant to cook or get food; he did neither. It got to half 7 and I couldn't wait any longer and said I needed to eat something as was feeling unwell. I asked what they all wanted to do and they said they would eat at home, fine.

I said goodbye to mil and sil and said sorry, ive really got to go, feeling unwell etc hope you dont mind, they said no go its fine. I left with ds and ate out.
When I get back they're gone and P is really angry, says my attitude was terrible and I shouldn't have 'stormed out'.

Apparent SIL feels unwelcome now confused and I need to apologise if I want any kind of friendship with her. Was I meant to sit there and starve before another night of no sleep due to teething baby and horrible period pains??

Tbh I'm so annoyed at him for not supporting me, he knew I was feeling like shit and didnt support me.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Tue 30-Jul-13 21:34:50

Apologies, that was me, didn't realise what it sounded like. It's usually a crosser version of bastard.


I can't believe posters are focusing on the fact she didn't have any food in. confused

OP, your DP and his family sound like twats. I'm guessing this is standard behaviour if you are thinking of leaving him.

Try to make sure you are eating regularly if you aren't getting a lot of sleep. Maybe order an online shop if DP can't be relied on to buy food when you've asked.

Flobbadobs Tue 30-Jul-13 21:38:19

Doesn't everyone get caught with nothing in to make a decent meal at some point? Dfanjo of course YANBU, even with full cupboards I would have gone out and got something, just to make a bloody point tbh.
Go to your Mums get rest and have a think. A stay there might give your P a metaphorical kick up the arse..

waltermittymissus Tue 30-Jul-13 21:39:32

This thread is very weird. Why is she having to explain why she didn't have food in? F

It's not a crime is it? Any more than it's a crime to eat out!!

Your P is being a knob. And an extra special one for not buying in food if he was supposed to.

Your inlaws were very rude to stay that long if they weren't going to eat with you.

Euphemia Tue 30-Jul-13 21:40:41

Not having a go at the OP for having no food in, having a go at her "D"P for saying he would "cook and get food" and didn't, then he gave the OP a hard time for arranging food for herself and DS despite no-one else expressing any interest in eating!

waltermittymissus Tue 30-Jul-13 21:40:45

^ It's usually a crosser version of bastard^

???? No, it's really not.

Pagwatch Tue 30-Jul-13 21:41:14

Fair enough ilovemydog.

But, for the sake of using it in future, whatever it sounds like it is 'fucking retard'. It's nothing to do with bastard.

Fakebook Tue 30-Jul-13 21:43:05

Weird. I'd have left early on when they came and left baby at home with them and got a quick shop in and eaten at home and offered them whatever you made. Why sit with them all that time? Why not get on with things? Why not have a quick stern word with DH on his own to get his bum in gear?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Tue 30-Jul-13 21:43:52

Yes I see that now.

God I wonder what else I've been saying in company that's offensive?

nkf Tue 30-Jul-13 21:45:24

I don't understand. Where did you go?

Fakebook Tue 30-Jul-13 21:45:33

Sorry, I find this all very strange. DH and I have a whole emergency operation in place in case of guests when there's no food in the house. Do you have many guests?

DfanjoUnchained Tue 30-Jul-13 21:46:46

but you or your DP should have said at about 5.30pm... "well thanks for visiting, been nice to see you but we are going to have to get the DC and ourselves fed, bye" whilst getting their coats for them.

I would've done this to my family, but not his. That was for him to do. Funny thing is I said that if his mums comes roud she won't leave amd it'll get awkward to try and shift her.
He said he wouldn't let that happen and he would tell her to go. I knew he wouldn't. So I started saying me and ds needed to eat, what's going on? Everyone was just sort of shrugging, I was annoyed at P for not getting food I'm like he said.

MurderOfGoths Tue 30-Jul-13 21:46:47

"I can't imagine a house with no food; no food at all? No bread, cereal, crackers, cheese, ham, pasta and jars of sauce?? Frozen stuff?"

Is this really that bizarre to people?? There are plenty of times we've had so little food at home that we'd have been unable to eat without going out. Doesn't mean that the cupboards are totally bare, just not enough to make a meal. Quite normal here on the days we are due a shop. Love to live in some of your houses!

OP your DP is an idiot! If he'd said he was going to do food then he should have, and definitely had no right to have a go at you for wanting to eat!

DfanjoUnchained Tue 30-Jul-13 21:47:40

I'm also ebf still so even more so needed to eat and stay on top of calories, I'm quite thin so need to keep calories up.

formicadinosaur Tue 30-Jul-13 21:49:18

Go somewhere you can have a little support. You need looking after and feeding and positivity. It's hard enough being a new mum without any crap.

nkf Tue 30-Jul-13 21:49:44

Your partner sounds unhelpful. Have you eaten now? Get some sleep.

DfanjoUnchained Tue 30-Jul-13 21:50:18

No I don't cater for many guests Fakebook and I certainly don't have an emergency plan in gear either confused

I live with my P and 7month old who is a handful, I do everything in the house. I see a couple of friends every few weeks. What's your point?

nkf Tue 30-Jul-13 21:51:15

You didn't do anything. Go to bed. Get some sleep. Not everyone has masses of food in the house at all times.

maja00 Tue 30-Jul-13 21:51:22

So your DP was supposed to get food in and cook.
His family came round but didn't want to eat.
And you are somehow in the wrong for going out to get you and your baby some dinner?

YANBU at all!

Don't know why people are sniping at you at all. Of course if there's nothing in the house and your twat DP has failed to provide anything you should go out and feed yourself! I wouldn't want to scrounge around for a bit of toast if I could go and get something nice either.

DfanjoUnchained Tue 30-Jul-13 21:51:43

Yes me and ds had a nice cheap meal out, came home to being told off though so I'm in bed now going to have a early night. Think ill leave this thread now as majority are focussing on me not having any food in my house.

maja00 Tue 30-Jul-13 21:52:14

Fakebook - why would she need an emergency plan for guests? They already had a plan - the DP was getting food and cooking confused

Flobbadobs Tue 30-Jul-13 21:52:15

Fake I think the OP says on another page they are moving house so have emptied the freezer. I did the same before we moved, emptied freezer and cupboards as much as possible then did a big shop when in the new house. For the last couple of days before we moved we were on takeaways and sandwich shops for every meal..

TheSmallPrint Tue 30-Jul-13 21:52:33

I'm another that can't believe the number of people focussing on how 'weird' it is that you didn't have food to make a meal with in the house. It happens in this house regularly!

YANBU he should have offered to go and get you something and actually, they should have offered to go to let you get on with your evening meal. Very selfish on his and his family's side.

Hassled Tue 30-Jul-13 21:52:53

It does sound shit like you - is your DP always this unsupportive or is this a temporary blip?

Staying at your mum's for a bit sounds like a good idea - just for the time and space you need.

DfanjoUnchained Tue 30-Jul-13 21:53:21

Have enough negativity from my P, don't need it here either.

Fakebook, you're always quite rude on threads, maybe you should get a plan for that? You must be unhappy. But at least you have bountiful amounts of food in your larder, hey.

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