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Woman on bus told me to move seats because she was allergic to my cats. Who was BU?

(135 Posts)
EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 17:38:19

Just in from the vets and rushing to get dinner sorted so shall make this quick-ish.

My kittens had a check up today at the vets. I don't drive, so me and dd took the bus with them in their pet carrier.

A woman was blocking the aisle with her legs out and shopping trolley so i asked if she could please move to let us by. She made a face as she looked at my pet carrier but finally moved and let us sit in the two seats behind her.

Then she starts coughing. After a minute of it, she turned round and informed me she's highly allergic of cats and they cause her breathing difficulties. I apologised and said I'd put them on the floor by my feet instead of on my lap, but she said that would't make any difference. She suggested i find somewhere else to sit.

The bus was unusually busy. There were only two seats left, but they weren't together. One had a dripping wet carrier bag on it (looked like a tub of spilled curry sauce inside) and the other was at the back of the bus between a group of loud (seemed very drunk to me) people playing music and talking about not so nice things...

I told her that dd won't sit on my lap and I needed two seats together so would be staying put.

Next time the bus stopped, she got up to speak to the driver! She didn't even try being quiet. I was mortified. She said that she was struggling to breathe because of my manky cats and that they shouldn't be allowed on public transport. And that her shopping is covered in fur now.

The driver asked her repeatedly to sit down, there's nothing he could do. Then he asked me how much further i was going. I told him still a fair bit, as the vets is in a different town. After another few minutes of arguing, the driver firmly told her to sit down or she'd need to get off.

Everyone was laughing at this point. The people up the back were calling crude things down to me thinking they were hilarious. ("I don't mind your pussy being on board etc etc") blush

Anyway, she sat back down and we set off again. She sat there swearing under her breath and coughing. Three stops later, she got up again and demanded a refund as she had to get off now or else she'd get seriously ill.

I'm not undermining allergies in any way, but what was i supposed to do? The driver said he doesn't do refunds as he doesn't handle the money and she'd have to write to head office. Ten minutes of arguing later, she got off.

I was 20 minutes late for my appointment because of her! Luckily i had a double appointment booked, but it meant the vet had to rush and do two cats in the space of one.

So, dare i ask? Who was BU? Please say it wasn't me. I feel rotten about it already. But i don't know what i could have done differently.

Whogivesashit Tue 30-Jul-13 17:46:24

YANBU. At all. The woman was a stupid cow. I would have told her to fuck off! Don't let it bother you, she's not worth a second thought.

OwlinaTree Tue 30-Jul-13 17:47:09

Well if there were 2 spare seats further away couldn't she have moved if she was bothered? Or did she have someone with her too?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 30-Jul-13 17:47:23

She was. If it were so bad she would have or should have moved. But I don't get how her shopping was covered in fur if she was two seats away?

saintmerryweather Tue 30-Jul-13 17:48:25

she could have moved if it was bothering her that much

orangeandemons Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:31

She. Was a cow. I am speaking as one who is severely very severely allergic to cats. It isn't the hair,it's the dander. A cat got knocked down on our road, and I picked it up. I held it for 30 seconds and was wheezing and itching.

I would have just moved in her place, or depending on how long the journey was, just stuck it out.

Sparklingbrook Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:35

She should have moved,

Can we see a pic of the kittens?

fluffyraggies Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:35

Her allergy, her problem. In this situation. IMO.

Why should you get off a bus because of someone else's allergy? confused

Trills Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:36

You were both using the bus legitimately, within the rules.

She wanted you to move. She didn't want to move herself.

You didn't want anyone to move.

Therefore moving is her issue, not yours.

trixymalixy Tue 30-Jul-13 17:50:46

My DS has multiple allergies including to cats. She WBU not you.

curlew Tue 30-Jul-13 17:51:14

She out herself in the wrong by the way she handled it. But if she had been behaving like a sensible human being, then I think it was up to you to move- you were the one who brought the thing she was allergic to onto the bus- it's up to you to make sure nobody's inconvenienced by your cats.

But she behaved like a loon, so deserves no sympathy.

sameoldIggi Tue 30-Jul-13 17:52:08

Was she unable to move/elderly etc? You mention legs sticking out/shopping trolley. Checking there are not good reasons why you, rather than she, needed to be the one to move!

ClaraOswald Tue 30-Jul-13 17:53:08

YANBU. If there were seats further away and she was on her own, she should have moved herself.

Amibambini Tue 30-Jul-13 17:53:20

To be honest, it sounds like she was being a bit of a drama queen. Her shopping is covered in fur? Oh really? Some people aren't happy unless they are causing a scene.

I'm quite allergic to cats, and if I am near enough to one to cause a problem, I'd move, as my priority would be to not get sick. I wouldn't waste time arguing with the said cat person.

My verdict - she a cray-cray lay-day.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 17:53:47

I am with the others. She should have moved.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 17:54:26

And I am impressed someone struggling to breathe had so much energy to argue!

Trills Tue 30-Jul-13 17:54:30


Checking there are not good reasons why you, rather than she, needed to be the one to move!

In the OP it says that she got up to talk to the driver more than once so presumably could have sat down somewhere else while she was doing it, if there were seats.

kali110 Tue 30-Jul-13 17:54:40

She yanbu!she sounds like a rude stuck up woman. If she didnt like it she should have moved. I have to take my rabbit and hedgehog on the bus because i dont drive.theyre put in the carrier and are no trouble. Tbh she sounded arrogant before you got on the bus. If she doesnt like public transfer she should get a taxi

5madthings Tue 30-Jul-13 17:56:09

she should have moved.

i am allergic to cats and i would just have moved if it was making me wheezy/itchy.

Justforlaughs Tue 30-Jul-13 17:57:26

I don't like cats (not allergic) so would normally be more sympathetic to the person who asked you to move, but actually it sounds like she was BveryU. i don't see why she couldn't have moved herself and sat on a single empty seat, which was obviously not an option for a mother with a young child. Neither do I understand why her shopping would have been covered in cat hair. (laughing at pussy remark though blush --probably wouldn't be if it aimed at me--)

Nancy66 Tue 30-Jul-13 17:57:30

She sounds a bit unhinged.

I'm allergic to cat fur but I usually have to have some contact with either fur or saliva for it to kick off.

Sounds like she was hamming it up a bit.

On another note I hate people on public transport who won't move/uncross their legs when you're trying to get by.

loopydoo Tue 30-Jul-13 17:57:40

I wonder whether she would have asked a blind person to move with a guide dog if she had a dog allergy?

Tbh, I didn't realise people were allowed to take pets on buses but I think she was plain rude and lacking in interpersonal skills (she should go on a course grin) and she should have moved.

kali110 Tue 30-Jul-13 17:58:41

Plus how exactly did her shopping get covered in fur?bit hard if they stayed in the carrier!public transport is for everyone. Smoke sets my asthma off. Was on bus yesterday and someone who clearly smoked a lot sat in front of me. They smelt so strong of smoke it set me off. Did i tell him to move?did i heck!i sat elsewhere and didnt make a scene to embarrass the poor bloke.

Treagues Tue 30-Jul-13 17:59:09

Neither of you was BU. (Is that option even allowed on MN? grin )

You are allowed to have cats on the bus, it was busy, and you couldn't move.

She is highly allergic to cats, probably quite distressed about that, felt she shouldn't have to have an allergic reaction on the bus, and tried to sort it.

Just a bit of an unfortunate situation really.

catsmother Tue 30-Jul-13 17:59:11

She should have moved - sounds like there was no good reason she couldn't do so. As for fur all over her shopping that's ridiculous - unless you have Persian kittens and had them out on your lap brushing them and blowing the fur in her direction .....

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