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does anyone actually "save the day"?

(68 Posts)
Justforlaughs Tue 30-Jul-13 16:06:02

Not really a thread about a thread as such, but there seem to be a lot about "save the day" cards, Woulds you really "Save the Day" because you were sent a card like this? I would definitely avoid arranging anything on a close friends/ relatives wedding day but I would expect to be told about the wedding in person, not by a card through the post. If I wanted to book a holiday or do anything really, I wouldn't not do it because someone that couldn't be bothered to tell me in person (in other words, someone that I don't see/ speak to regularly) had sent me card in the post, that from what people are saying on here, doesn't always mean that you are going to get a proper invite, if any, anyway.

ApocalypseThen Tue 30-Jul-13 16:45:04

As for 'rude and impertinent' to be invited to a wedding, and to want your presence so much they give you some warning. Poor little loved you! What a damn shame!

I do consider it rude and impertinent to ask people to avoid making plans in case you decide to send an invitation. As to what the rest of it means, I'm sure it's supposed to be some kind of cutting insult but I'm afraid I don't understand it.

noseymcposey Tue 30-Jul-13 16:46:47

I think the concept is quite common.. save the date cards for weddings and I sometimes get save the date emails for other celebrations (birthday nights out etc)

Actually think it makes sense, though I've never done it. You might still be deciding what to do/make bookings and what you do might depend on how many can make it. Plus you can get good last minute offers so can be quite sensible to earmark a date and finalise plans later.

MrsDeVere Tue 30-Jul-13 16:47:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 30-Jul-13 16:47:54


Still don't understand your ire. Save the Date is a request, not an order, just as an invitation is. If you can't come you can't come. If you do;t want to change your plans, don't. But it gives you more warning to do so if you can.

thebody Tue 30-Jul-13 16:48:28

sorry I thought this thread was asking if you had ever 'saved the day' like done something emmense?

if so I found an odd bott of white wine lurking in my fridge last night and it saved my day!! 😀

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 30-Jul-13 16:49:27

I've been sent a text for a party - it was indeed a heads up to the date, but the venue hadn't been finalised yet

noseymcposey Tue 30-Jul-13 16:49:47


"I do consider it rude and impertinent to ask people to avoid making plans in case you decide to send an invitation."

That isn't what they are for though. It is what one woman has done on the bridezilla thread, incorrectly, and that is indeed rude and impertinent but she has got the wrong end of the stick.

It's basically the same as someone ringing you up and saying 'put a note in your diary we're getting married on this date, more details to follow later' and then deciding not to invite you after all. Someone, somewhere has probably done this but it's not the norm.

teatimesthree Tue 30-Jul-13 16:51:31

I am usually the first to bridle at wedding impertinence, but I think they are a good idea. Having said that, I would only save the date if I actually wanted to go to the wedding.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 30-Jul-13 16:52:14

me too teatimesthree grin

BackforGood Tue 30-Jul-13 16:52:26

I've only ever had one of these, and it was quite useful as I wouldn't have automatically expected to be invited to the wedding, so it was helpful to know we were going to be, so that year I avoided booking our holiday for that date.
I do think you could generally do it through systems you are already communicating through anyway though - be that speaking to someone or on FaceBook or by e-mail, or putting it in the previous year's Christmas Card or something. It does seem another thing invented by the whole wedding industry for Brides to spend more money on than you really need to.

TallulahBetty Tue 30-Jul-13 16:53:19

Yes, if I was going to go. Unsure if this was i inspired by my thread, but I saved the date for an upcoming wedding (including booking the day off work).

MissStrawberry Tue 30-Jul-13 16:56:10

DH and I have received two save the date cards in the past for a wedding and a civil partnership and we were subsequently invited to both.

When we were planning our weddings I wouldn't have sent out save cards but I did tell my future MIL the wedding date so she could tell the family so they knew when it would be. I was considering the fact that people like to book holidays in advance and go away in the summer.

AngusAndElspethsThistleWhistle Tue 30-Jul-13 16:57:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meganorks Tue 30-Jul-13 17:02:45

I wasn't planning to send them but found out a friend of a friend has their wedding the same day and another the weekend after. So thinking actually a busy time of year and people might appreciate some notice. That and the wedding is over a year away so I'm not in a position to send actual invites but seems silly not to give people a heads up if date is set. Only sending to day guests, and some will already know but don't want to miss people. Will try and tell evening guests in person. And send actual invites with as much notice as I can

ravenlocks Tue 30-Jul-13 17:03:44

Never heard of "save the date" cards being sent to people you don't eventually invite to your wedding - that is rude and that would be offensive.

Otherwise I think they are very sensible esp if the wedding is on a weekend in the Summer. I would avoid making other plans -only if I wanted to and planned to go. I am less likely to misplace/forget about a nice card than I am a text or email. As has been said, they are not an order!!

Jan49 Tue 30-Jul-13 17:14:53

I don't think I'd ever heard of them before mumsnet. Never received or sent one. When I was getting married, it was a very small wedding - about a dozen people - so we contacted everyone and asked them about their availability for the month or so when we hoped to book a date, then booked the date knowing that everyone could come. That would work for a bigger wedding if you just contacted the close family members and friends that you particularly wanted to be there.

whois Tue 30-Jul-13 17:23:58

Yes, of course I would save the date! They are normally sent out when the date has been decided but not all the details like venue and times are fully sorted, gives you a heads up if you need to travel abroad or something.

EBearhug Tue 30-Jul-13 22:35:30

Am I the only one who, every time I read a reference to STD cards, thinks, "I think I'd probably just tell them face to face or by email rather than send a card, if I had to tell them they should get themselves checked?" Maybe it's a gap in the Moonpig market... "You need testing! I've got chlamydia!"

Just me then...

Anyway - I quite like the idea of save the date notification, whether it's by card or email or phonecall or whatever. At work, some of the presentations we set up start with a save the date calendar invitation, usually because the rooms haven't been confirmed yet, but if you don't save the date, you get low attendance, because people end up booking other meetings in that timeslot. I have booked some other weekends away and so on at times which didn't clash with a save the date weekend. I used to have a German boyfriend, and we would book flights a way in advance because it was cheaper, so save the date was definitely helpful then. These days, I'm nearly always free.

dementedma Tue 30-Jul-13 22:53:25

I've never heard of these before. The things you learn on MN!

ShellyBoobs Tue 30-Jul-13 23:07:44

I've got an STD at the moment.

My other half's friend gave it to me the other week.

<fnarr grin>

Being serious for a moment, I'm not sure there's much point to them in most circumstances.

This one though is for a date in winter, in a different country, and from what OH's friend said they were a little concerned that people would use all their holiday's from work and be unable to attend if they didn't do something early enough...

PrettyKitty1986 Tue 30-Jul-13 23:18:43

I sent std's out a fortnight ago for my wedding.

People receiving them (only close friends and family, day invites) already knew...but my wedding is on 1st June, a Sunday. It's prime holiday time so I just wanted to give people an official heads up that they can keep to hand.

I would hope any of my day guests would be pleased to receive one and not 'insulted' or 'offended' hmm

Standautocorrected Tue 30-Jul-13 23:24:46

We received one a few years ago. We did std but dh's oldest friend returned to the country to marry his now dw. Dh was best man so i felt dreadful we couldn't go to the original one.
The second wedding was awful and i wish we had at least done a wedding each iykwim.

trixymalixy Tue 30-Jul-13 23:32:34

The last 2 weddings I have been to we have received STD cards and we did STD. I think it's quite useful to get advance notice so you can book hotel rooms etc.

Mogz Wed 31-Jul-13 06:24:22

We sent Save the Date cards as more than half of our guests were flying from either France or Australia to the UK and it would have been tricky to ring them all what with the time difference. We designed them to match the rest of our wedding stationery and got some lovely feedback.

Morgause Wed 31-Jul-13 06:28:34

A young friend sent us a "Save the Day" card saying it was for the wedding and the evening do. She also sent me a text, a message on Facebook and told me face to face.

She took things even further when she took my phone and added it to events.

We saved the day and it was a lovely one.

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