To be fed up of this tirade.(119 Posts)
A lot of you may remember my post last week R.E. the wedding cake. I didn't do it due to dp and dd being so ill. Friday came along and my dd had had a HUGE fever during the night- the ear infection she'd been diagnosed with on the wednesday had got the better of her and she was very floppy and sad and wouldn't stop crying unless she was being held my my dp and I. So we whizzed her down the doctors as soon as they opened on friday and got her checked over again and she was given stronger anti-biotics and has been dosed up with antibiotics and calpol over the weekend and is feeling a lot better now.
But as my dd was so ill, I decided not to go to my friend's wedding (dp had to pop into work a few times over the day, even though they'd given him the day off compassionate leave) So there was no way I could, let alone wanted, to leave her.
I got a text at 10am from my friend saying that, due to my lack of "compassion" in "a time of crisis" that I was no longer welcome to the wedding. So I replied that dd was not well and couldn't come anyway (no reply for the rest of the day).
But as of Saturday, I've had non stop calls to my mobile and landline, texts, emails, facebook messages from her and her mum saying how selfish I was for not properly apologising or attending the wedding to make amends. I've turned off the phone, my mobile, shut down the computer and everything, but the messages keep racking up. I just want to cry. It's like they're sat talking to each other and every time they think of something nasty to say, they have to call/ message me again. AIBU to just want to cry and want my "friend" to find something more interesting to do on her honeymoon than shout at me!! I knew this would come back to bite me on the bum.
SOrry I should say that when I said "delete and block" I meant unfriend and block, I use the word delete to mean the same thing! YYY to keeping the messages as evidence.
Oh good lord. Here's someone (your ex friend) who doesn't know what it is to bake a wedding cake. She does sound rather unpleasant. Did you send her the email?
Wow. Am just stunned at not only her behaviour, but also her mother's! I did wonder if your refusal (completely reasonable!) to do the cake would result in a hissy fit re you going to the wedding; and am sorry that my suspicion was fulfilled.
But this ongoing behaviour is outrageous! Who the ACTUAL fuck do they think they are??!!
The BZ - tanty, toys-out-of-the-pram response.
MOBZ - does she not talk to her own daughter, to know that you were uninvited in the rudest way imaginable?
And in the end, your family were sick and always come first. Did the pair of selfish, self-absorbed beatches expect you to walk out on an ill partner and baby, just for their benefit? Disgusting.
You're well rid of her; but I agree with sending the harassment message and then blocking. DO NOT Delete however, just in case - you need to have the previous messages on record for proof of harassment.
Holy Fuck. Is it the heat or are Bridezillas having some kind of competition, sponsored by confetti.co to act as thoroughly deranged and unpleasant as possible this year? Where are all these fuckwits coming from and where are they finding men so desperate to marry them?
OP i would keep every message
and forward them to all your mutual friends in case the harassment gets worse. I am so cross on your behalf.
I agree you should send Bogeyface's message. Hang on to the messages you've had in case you need to go to the police. If you have a smartphone, maybe take screenshots and email them to yourself to back them up.
Wow! Just wow!
Absolutely whatt bogey said!
Don't put up with this shit! Don't soft shoe it, crack this nut with a wrecking ball.
Show those psychotic bullies that you won't have this.
In fact don't enter into any further dialogue, just send the message, plaster it on their FB pages and then go straight to the police.
I bloody hate bullies.
Thankyou for updating, if only to show what a bridezilla she is. And xontinues to be!! So glad you didn't do it!!
I expect she doesn't believe that bit. it's a bit convenient.
but she didn't have time, she tried to make helpful suggestions. she was under no obligation anyway. It's not like she pulled out of doing it.
I wonder if bridezilla is also sending abusive messages to other cake baker and anyone else who pissed her off about the wedding. That must be very tiring.
I wonder if she doesn't believe your dd was ill, and thinks you made it up as an excuse? That doesn't excuse her and her mother harassing you, but it at least explains the lack of sympathy about what you were having to deal with. You'll still have to deal with the harassment if they haven't run out of energy yet.
I can't imagine spending that much time on someone whom I felt had really let me down and shown no compassion (because that's how she says she's feeling, whether she's right to or not.) People can be most odd.
Definitely use Bogeyface's message, otherwise who knows how long it'll take for them to stop? They are working each other up over this. but as others have said, set their messages to go into a folder rather than block so you have them for evidence.
Oh OP, this latest update is just awful. You were so lovely to her even to consider making the cake at such short notice when you had so much on.
She's obviously looking for someone to blame and you drew the short straw.
Agree with other posters, she much be having one hell of a shit honeymoon if she's spouting such vitrol and holding onto so much hate.
What an absolute cow. Hope you and your DD are well OP.
I wonder if she's had a rant to new husband, who's stuck up for OP? Said something a normal person would say, like, well, it was very short notice, and that's what's sparked the honeymoon abuse?
Poor you. This is horrid.
I do hope your DD gets better.
Good advice up thread. Advice them that you are sorry they feel this way but their behaviour is upsetting you, this is harassment and they must stop.
Bullies are usually cowards.
Absolutely appalling! Bogeyface said it up thread -
"I do not wish to have any further contact with you. I consider the messages you have sent so far to be harassment, if I receive any further messages then I will be contacting the police." then delete and block.
Nobody has the right to send you a constant stream of abuse like this!
OP, your dd is one, yes? Well, really think of this as preparation. In another year your dd will be two and then the practice you will have had with Bridezilla's toddler-stylee tantrums will stand to you.
Have some and cake!
She sounds unhinged to me.
Keep the messages as evidence, but be grateful that as soon as this blows over you will never have to have anything to do with the silly bitch again.
Keep your chin up.
I feel very sorry for your ex-friend really. She has behaved appallingly, but how sad must she be to be dwelling on the cake issue. She has just got married and instead of enjoying the moment all she can do is lash out at you.
I would keep the texts and messages and report.
I understand how you are feeling about this. I've been through similiar (although it was her husband not her mother who she roped in) and it's shit. You need to report this and I do suggest, ignoring her as much as you can. Try not to read her texts but put them in a folder ready for it all to be printed off.
You've dont NOTHING wrong. She's been out of order since the day she gave you less than a weeks notice to make a stupid cake.
I think I'd send a very clear and brusque letter, along the lines of those offered by fabulously creative posters in the tidydancer thread (where her nutty former friend sent her a 'save-the-date' card, but never followed it up with an actual invitation, but did nonetheless ask her to decorate the venue for her preferred guests).
Remind her of the course of events in a calm and collected manner, so she can't accuse you of sour grapes.
I would be pleased that you didn't make the cake. I imagine she would have been just as disgraceful regardless, you were in a lose-lose situation as far as this friendship is concerned.
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