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to expect my sister to put herself out for ONE night?

(415 Posts)
HDEE Sun 28-Jul-13 19:09:36

Typing on phone so excuse any errors

I am so angry with my sister. I am currently in a hospital 1.5 hours from home. I have been here for three weeks now as my waters broke early at 21/22 weeks and this was the nearest hospital with a suitable NICU cot.

Baby was born on Friday. He is incredibly sick. His first two nights I was called to NICU in the night as they didn't expect him to survive. Last night he suffered major bleeds to both sides of his brain. We have been told he is critical and any worsening of the bleed (very likely) will mean discussing withdrawing intensive care.

I asked my sister if she could please stay overnight at my house (she has been there through the day looking after my three year old twins and six year old) but decided shed rather go home.

This means that should I need to get my husband here, the plan now is that I phone him, he gets our children out of bed and ready to go, loads them into the car, regardless of time, then drives the 50 minutes to her house, unloads them where they have nowhere to sleep, then drives the hour journey to me.

This is fucking ridiculous. Apparently she was saying 'but I have no clean clothes to wear'. Well boo fucking hoo. I'm waiting for my two day old baby to take a turn for the worse and die at any time, and she doesn't want to be a little uncomfortable?

I am never, ever speaking to her again. Especially if my husband can't get here and I have to do all this alone.

FTR she doesn't drive. My dad lives 5 minutes from her so this morning when I needed my husband here it took him 2.5 hours from my phone call to arrival by the time they got to him, and he got here.

I suspect a large part of it is that her partner is making a fuss being left with their three children. But he doesn't work, and I need her help more sad

TroublesomeEx Mon 12-Aug-13 07:02:34

I have missed this thread until now. sad

Congratulations on the birth of little George flowers flowers

I'll be thinking of you and your family and sending love and hope to you all.


peachactiviaminge Mon 12-Aug-13 07:07:23

Was just thinking of you both last night hope you are all well xxx

katydid02 Mon 12-Aug-13 07:11:30

Keeping you all in my thoughts. I hope you are doing as well as you can in the circumstances.

HaveIGotPoosForYou Mon 12-Aug-13 18:19:43

Thinking of you and your family, HDEE.

I am hoping that minimal amount of damage is present.

My partner was born at 24 weeks in the 80s. Although he didn't have any brain bleeds he weighed 1lb and was on a ventilator on and off for the first 3 months of his life.

I am pleased to say that he is a 5''10', muscular (with a bit of extra weight, but nothing extra ordinary), blind but otherwise absolutely fine. Things that are amazing can happen. No matter what though he'll always be your son and he'll be amazing in his own right and you'll love him unconditionally.

I hope your sister learns to be less self absorbed in the future.

ProjectGainsborough Mon 12-Aug-13 18:51:06

Thinking of you all and send love and strength xxx

nowwhere Mon 12-Aug-13 21:04:17

Prayers to you all

londone17 Mon 12-Aug-13 21:22:13

Good luck lovely.

TattyDevine Mon 12-Aug-13 21:37:48

Ah this breaks me it does. Thoughts etc...xx

Turniptwirl Mon 12-Aug-13 22:56:44

Hope you and little George and family are doing well x

Fairdene Mon 12-Aug-13 23:04:10

Very sympathetic indeed to your situation probably especially as I've been in it myself, but I just can't see that your sister deserves some of the names she's been called on this thread - she has done a good deal to help. Some sisters would do nothing at all; credit where it's due.

RipRC Mon 12-Aug-13 23:26:03

Fairdei I opened this thread expecting to read it and tell the op she was been very unreasonable, less than half way through the post my opinion completely changed.
I personally can not imagine doing everything I possibly could to make my sisters life a little easier if she were in similar circumstances, she wouldn't even have to ask.
How did you reach the opinion that she already did a lot, she minded one day

Any way best wishes to you and your family op wishing you all the best.

themaltesefalcon Mon 19-Aug-13 13:31:08

Thinking of your family. flowers

I am going to go and light a candle, and say a wee prayer for George right now.

my2centsis Thu 22-Aug-13 09:04:09

I hope one day you will update the thread op as we are all thinking of you, would be nice if you could let us no

212VIP Sun 08-Sep-13 10:32:21


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