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Wibu to complain about this man at my grandfather's care home?

(79 Posts)
Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 13:11:43

My grandfather is in a care home as he is in a wheelchair and kept getting poorly so he moved into a care home about 6 months ago. Since then he's gone really downhill and is very forgetful and paranoid. He's always getting infections and he never drinks enough as he just doesn't think to.

I was there the other day and as I was leaving I overheard one of the carers laughing (in a shocked/embarrassed way) that she had forgotten to take drinks/tea round. It was 4pm. The woman in charge of the place said 'don't worry, just take anyone a drink if they ask for one otherwise they won't mention it'.
Well, to be honest, the elderly people in the home aren't likely to ask for a drink, they're mostly all there because they have a lot of different care needs and many suffer from dementia etc. lots are in chairs and I think they need to be reminded to drink.

I'm so cross about it as I think it's really poor, who knows how often that happens? Am I being totally over the top or would it be right to make a complaint.

My grandad keeps saying other things like they've bruised him/ scratched him, left him without dinner, left him in a dark room for hours (he cant push his chair easily alone) etc but I have to take that sort of thing with a pinch of salt as he's very unsure of his own thoughts now and I think he probably exaggerates, but now I'm worried they aren't caring for these people properly.

On the other hand I might be totally overthinking it! I am normally a very reasonable person but it all keeps going through my head.

Thanks for reading that, longer than I thought it would be!

pudcat Thu 01-Aug-13 10:49:54

thanks MammTJ. I get fed up sometimes when others say "Oh I could never put my Mum/Dad in a home.". The home that Mum is in is absolutely wonderful so I know she is far better looked after than I could hope to achieve.

MammaTJ Tue 30-Jul-13 16:38:31

pudcat I am a carer by job and have told my own DM that should she need care, I will not be providing it at home.

I know the pressure on families only too well and could not do it.

I love my job, I really do, but I get to walk away at the end of my shift. I honestly do not know how those who look after family members at home manage it.

x2boys Tue 30-Jul-13 11:09:04

I Agree contact the CQC UP until sox months ago I was working on a long stay male dementia wards our patients were often discharged to EMI Nursing /EMI Residential depending on there needs some of the homes were shocking [some where very good] The CQC will and do close homes down for poor care

pudcat Tue 30-Jul-13 10:59:59

I tried to have my Mum living with me but when I could no longer lift her it became impossible. The guilt of putting her in a home never goes away.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Tue 30-Jul-13 10:28:42

Agree that you shouldn't dismiss anything your grandfather says on the grounds that it's not likely (on other grounds fair enough, you know him best).

I am disabled and have care at home, and was horribly abused and intimidated by several agencies before I got my own staff. I am in my 30s, high up in my professional career, confident, intelligent etc... Basically not a person you'd think of as being vulnerable to this type of thing. But when I became disabled, my world fell apart, and having people in your home and doing intimate care stuff, whilst I was trying to care for my baby... it does put you in an extremely vulnerable position.

I was shouted at, pointed and laughed at whilst naked, they stole stuff from me, humiliated and took away my dignity. I am still not recovered from it.

It happens, I suspect with frequency.

pigletmania Tue 30-Jul-13 09:48:12

I would have mum at my house so would be aware of what's going on hopefully

HorryIsUpduffed Mon 29-Jul-13 22:19:49

GMIL is cared for at home (part paralysed). One carer dropped her, and couldn't pick her up again, so covered her over with blankets overnight until there could be enough staff to help. I don't think "at home" guarantees good care.

There is also the consideration of company v solitude though. Better to be at home with only your telly for company 20 hours a day, or watching telly with other old people 12 hours a day? Not sure, but the first can't be good for your sanity.

pigletmania Mon 29-Jul-13 22:10:10

I am seriously cnsdering looking after my mum myself and paying carers to help if she comes to the stage where She needs to go into a home.

maja00 Mon 29-Jul-13 19:46:21

If your grandfather is alleging poor care, then I wouldn't dismiss it. A friend of mine's father was in a care home after a stroke and wasn't able to tell them anything - luckily my friend and her family were able to turn up most days at random times and often found him undressed and unwashed, or sat in a chair in a dark room with the curtains drawn unable to move for goodness knows how long, washed with dirty cloths, not given water, not helped to eat. Most residents did not have regular visits from family, let alone weekly, so no one was monitoring their care. This was a huge chain btw.

mrsjay Mon 29-Jul-13 19:37:05


mrsjay Mon 29-Jul-13 19:35:25

please report it I think you can report it to the kocal authority care comission (sp) these poor people need to have their drinks and be bloody well cared for older people sometimes dont like to cause a fuss and it is up to the carers to know that and care for them properly, incidently my friend works as a trouble shooter for carehomes she is always very busy it is shocking how some old folk are treated sad

BrianTheMole Mon 29-Jul-13 19:32:31

where does all the money go

big fat profits in some cases, whilst corners are cut on the quality of residents care.

pigletmania Mon 29-Jul-13 13:54:12

Anyone for turps it's not about the forgetting but the habit of not giving fluids to those who do not ask, and the mangers attitude to it tats te problem. As a GP you should know how vital rehydration is to people, especially the elderly a the very young and sick, they can deteriorate very quickly. I wul call the QCC without hesitation, this is neglect. Tey charge an arm and a leg per person for a place in a care home, where does all the money go hmm

comedycentral Mon 29-Jul-13 13:10:05

This thread is so sad sad please do complain. I had to stop reading. It makes me sad xxx

KurriKurri Mon 29-Jul-13 12:44:02

Sorry - I haven't read all the posts yet so apologies if I'm just repeating others. Definitely report, that is appalling that they aren't giving the residents drinks frequently (and if they are neglectful over tha, what else are they neglectful over?)

My mum (91) goes to a day centre and they are very vvigilant about making sure all the people have enough to drink - regular teas and coffees and squashes and juices - and they are encouraged to drink plenty'
Another problem that can arise, - which happened when my dad was in hospital (he was also 91 at the time) is that the staff would dump a drink in front of him and leave it, but he couldn't manage to lift the cup and his swallowing reflex was a bit dodgy, so he needed help.

So it's plenty of drinks and making sure that the people can manage a cup, or might need a straw or help holding the cup etc.

Hope you get things sorted out for your Grandad OP.

DrCoconut Mon 29-Jul-13 11:18:22

I'd keep an eye on things. My aunt was in a home and complained that the tea smelled of alcohol and tasted strange at times. She was not of sound mind and we were told she was just imagining things as she was prone to. A couple of years after her death I found out from an ex employee that putting brandy in the teapot was done some nights "to keep everyone quiet". My auntie was a Salvation Army member and alcohol was strictly against her beliefs. I was just a teenager when it happened and by the time I found out it was true the place had changed hands, been refurbished etc so too late to do anything.

Bugsylugs Mon 29-Jul-13 07:16:17

Also pass on the information to the CCG they collect soft intelligence to pick up trends and close beds.

There will be a safeguarding adult in the CCG report it to them as well

Meringue33 Mon 29-Jul-13 06:41:31

Also as with any abuse claim you should assume first that the victim is telling the truth and investigate

pudcat Mon 29-Jul-13 06:36:04

I visited my Mum in her care home yesterday. During the hour I was there cold drinks came round twice and the tea trolley in between. All the residents who cannot hold a cup are helped by the carers. I was also given a glass of orange squash and a cup of tea. Complain to cqc not to the home. I would be worried that if you complained to the manager (who didn't seem to care) that they would take it out on the relative when no visitors around.

sashh Mon 29-Jul-13 05:15:05

That's terrible.

Both my grandmothers spent the end of their lives in care homes. There seemed to be tea every 15 mins when I visited. And as I live 100+ miles away I would go for fewer but longer visits.


That's terrible too. One of my Nana's carers got a fancy nail art kit for Christmas and took it in (she'd worked the last 10 Christmases because she liked it) and gave any one who wanted a manicure.

She also came (with a few others) to my Nana's funeral.

but it's so expensive and seems so nice.

Many years ago a relative was running a care home, her husband left and took their savings. People would come in and see that the carpet was old and go elsewhere.

What they didn't see was people with poor mobility being turned every 2 hours 24 hours a day, so the didn't get bed sores. She was very proud of the fact no one in her care ever had a bed sore.

Look beyond the furnishings. Chat to the staff, look into the kitchen and talk to other visitors.

notnagging Mon 29-Jul-13 04:19:06

Too many people let things go. These are human beings and deserve quality care. Complain, at least someone will know your paying attention.

Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 19:20:02

Thanks for your help. I'll contact them tomorrow and let you know the result. It's good to know this is not something to ignore

MammaTJ Sun 28-Jul-13 19:15:47

Just showed this to the deputy manager of the home I work in and she says go straight to CQC and his SW. If the person in charge is saying not to bother with drinks there is something very wrong that will not be rectified by going to the home itself.

Do let me know how you get on!

LEMisdisappointed Sun 28-Jul-13 18:54:55

Bugger talking to them first, the only we got any action was via the CQC - we also went to our MP who was worse than bloody useless, as were SS, who took the attitude that we should be grateful he had a place hmm Very often the owners of these places are in it purely for profit so will pay minimum wage, provide minimum training and don't really take an interest in whether their staff are anything other than useless.

My fathers care home handed out jam sandwhiches as christmas day tea sad We asked if we could take him home, they recommended we didn't - I will never forgive myself for listening to them and leaving them there wiht a bunch of half pissed slags.

BrianTheMole Sun 28-Jul-13 18:37:13

I wouldn't approach them first. I'd go to CQC first. There are no excuses for leaving vulnerable people in that situation. And the payment received for care from the LA isn't that woeful, it is certainly enough, even if there have been funding cuts.

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