Advanced search

Wibu to complain about this man at my grandfather's care home?

(79 Posts)
Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 13:11:43

My grandfather is in a care home as he is in a wheelchair and kept getting poorly so he moved into a care home about 6 months ago. Since then he's gone really downhill and is very forgetful and paranoid. He's always getting infections and he never drinks enough as he just doesn't think to.

I was there the other day and as I was leaving I overheard one of the carers laughing (in a shocked/embarrassed way) that she had forgotten to take drinks/tea round. It was 4pm. The woman in charge of the place said 'don't worry, just take anyone a drink if they ask for one otherwise they won't mention it'.
Well, to be honest, the elderly people in the home aren't likely to ask for a drink, they're mostly all there because they have a lot of different care needs and many suffer from dementia etc. lots are in chairs and I think they need to be reminded to drink.

I'm so cross about it as I think it's really poor, who knows how often that happens? Am I being totally over the top or would it be right to make a complaint.

My grandad keeps saying other things like they've bruised him/ scratched him, left him without dinner, left him in a dark room for hours (he cant push his chair easily alone) etc but I have to take that sort of thing with a pinch of salt as he's very unsure of his own thoughts now and I think he probably exaggerates, but now I'm worried they aren't caring for these people properly.

On the other hand I might be totally overthinking it! I am normally a very reasonable person but it all keeps going through my head.

Thanks for reading that, longer than I thought it would be!

HorryIsUpduffed Sun 28-Jul-13 13:16:26

In hot weather that is really really bad. To put it in context, other care homes are working hard at offering wet foods such as ice pops and melon to keep their residents hydrated.

yegodsandlittlefishes Sun 28-Jul-13 13:17:03

You are right to be concerned, and yes it is a good idea to follow up that the the round was cancelled. It is good that the cater felt able to admit he/she had made the mistake, but in this hot weather it is really important that elderly people have access to drinks.

Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 13:17:22

Yes it was really humid outside. I took in fruit to try and tempt him but I hadn't even thought that's what they should be doing, isn't it?

Roshbegosh Sun 28-Jul-13 13:18:36

Complain, that is disgraceful. I can forgive her forgetting but not the sheer laziness and lack of care in not putting it right.

Madamecastafiore Sun 28-Jul-13 13:19:33

Please get in touch with the CQC and tell them your worries, they will hopefully investigate.

Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 13:21:57

Yes she was embarrassed at forgetting and I know they're so busy so that's understandable and she was about to go and do it but her boss said not to bother. I realised my thread title says man and I've written the woman in charge of her.., it was a woman I've no idea why I wrote man. Confused myself now!

Roshbegosh Sun 28-Jul-13 13:22:02

Complain locally too though. I would be furious if they laughed off leaving an elderly relative dehydrated, and besides, it is extremely dangerous.

Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 13:22:19

Thanks madAme I will

aldiwhore Sun 28-Jul-13 13:22:19

I would certainly mention it.

My FIL has paranoid episodes frequently (and violent, and sexually inappropriate) and although this is part and parcel of his Alzheimer's it is considerably worse when he gets a UTI, which he gets often and therefore drinking plenty and often is absolutely crucial.

The home he is in are excellent (though I am sure they have bad days) but I have requested that he always has something to drink by his side (and so far, so good).

I agree with roshbegosh that mistakes happen, they are forgivable entirely, but it's when those mistakes are not corrected that it becomes negligence rather than error.

solveproblem Sun 28-Jul-13 13:22:28

Can you hide a camera/voice recorder in his room?

It might put your mind at ease if you find out they're all (hopefully) treating him well and caring for him as they should.

Montybojangles Sun 28-Jul-13 13:26:09

Care quality commission website, you can look up care homes they have visited and assessed.

It's very difficult in this situation. Elderly people tend to bruise very easily, especially if on anti clotting medications etc. He lists several things though that are worrying him.

Could you put a night light in his room that is activated when it gets dark, just I case he is unable to get to the light switch? His idea of time may be distorted.

It's not acceptable to be missing drinks rounds for hot drinks really, but people should have a jug/drink of water or squash to hand always.

If he is very limited in his mobility and requiring assistance to a greater degree is a care home the right place, might a nursing home be more appropriate?

If you feel unhappy about anything you should always speak to the manager.

Montybojangles Sun 28-Jul-13 13:26:26

Yonionekanobe Sun 28-Jul-13 13:27:26

I see where you're coming from solve but may be in a care home but is still an adult, entitled to his privacy so I'm not sure a camera in his room is appropriate?

OP, absolutely not unreasonable - and definitely report locally and to the CQC.

Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 13:29:13

It's a nursing wing of a care home so the people in his wing need lots of care. They don't have juice/ water on hand. They can get it if they ask and there are rounds for hot drinks.
I think his knowledge of time is skewed. A night light is a great idea. And I think you're right, he's likely to be bruising easily and then coming up with a scenario in his head.

BrianTheMole Sun 28-Jul-13 13:31:27

I would go straight to cqc, not bother to bring it up with the home, let them do their own investigations. I wouldn't bring it up with the home because I wouldn't give them a chance to try and cover their tracks. You need to do something though, don't just leave it.

LEMisdisappointed Sun 28-Jul-13 13:32:51

Please do complain - this boils my piss it really does angry my poor father was treated like shit in a "care" home until we had enough and got him out, but they couldn't have made life more difficult for us for daring to complain. It breaks my heart to think of the neglect that goes on in these places - they are not all like it, the home we moved him too was brilliant, ironically the second home was staffed mostly by asians and older english women, the shite place was staffed with people dragged out of the job centre and didn't want to be there, horrible bunch of slags is really the only way to describe them.

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 13:33:39

"They don't have juice/ water on hand."

That doesn't seem right at all.

UTIs can be fatal!

Older people's kidneys are often less efficient, so they need to drink more.

Dont feel as thirsty as younger people-it's a vicious circle!

watchingout Sun 28-Jul-13 13:33:49

YANBU! Ok, the carer made a genuine mistake, that's happens, but NO WAY should her supervisor have tried to brush it off. They should BOTH have taken steps to rectify the omission. Elderly, especially on a nursing wing ffs, are very vulnerable angryangry

Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 13:35:34

Thanks. He often gets Utis which make him really odd, and they don't pick up on it and then I push for doctors to come and then they sort it.

The more I talk about it the worse it's sounding to me, but it's so expensive and seems so nice.

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 13:40:14

My Dad had a really bad UTI.

He wasn't expected to survive.

It was as if he'd had a stroke.

I could barely understand him & his personality changed!

BrianTheMole Sun 28-Jul-13 13:41:17

Sounds like a shite home to me Aunt. They shouldn't need pushing to call the doctor. I'd find him somewhere else personally, as well as complain.

hobnobsaremyfave Sun 28-Jul-13 13:42:52

Maybe contact the POVA team at the local authority and ask for advice.

CSIJanner Sun 28-Jul-13 13:43:17

UTI's can be caused by not drinking enough fluids. Doesn't bode well, especially as UTI's in the elderly show up as toxins build up in the brain, which in turn leads to more confusion. This is v bad for dementia patients

Sorry - that makes it sound even worse! I would complain, verbally and in writing. Also get a nightlight and if youre really worried, a camera of sorts to help sort out the truth from the confusion. HTH.

Auntfini Sun 28-Jul-13 13:44:24

Thanks . You've all made me see the severity of it.
I know you ways overhear them moaning as people don't turn up to shifts etc so I think they're probably understaffed which obviously leads to these issues. But it just isn't acceptable is it?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now