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Shit...fanjo issue

(32 Posts)
Tittypulumpcious Sat 27-Jul-13 20:28:57

After being away for a while with work the lady garden has bloomed. I got home and decided to prune it. I used veet and whilst waiting for it to work a friend called. I decided to take the call and proceeded to talk for longer than the allocated veet time on the edge of the bath..totally engrossed in conversation once I'd hung up I realised not only had I been yapping for 20 minutes I'd also crossed my legs.

I have a half a bald fanjo and a smear test tomorrow.

Do I a) trim my remaining clump or b) take the whole thing off and pray the gyno doesn't think I'm a weirdo?

Tittypulumpcious Sat 27-Jul-13 20:30:50

This should be in wwyd..sorry!

Forgetfulmog Sat 27-Jul-13 20:32:33

So it's not a "shit in the fanjo" situation then grin

On an aside my iPhone auto corrects fanjo to Ghandi grin

Sorry, not very helpful to your situation!

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 27-Jul-13 20:32:45

It's all got to come off now OP

deleted203 Sat 27-Jul-13 20:33:28

I think I'd take the whole lot off, personally. grin

WafflyVersatile Sat 27-Jul-13 20:33:37

I was going to say there should not be shit in your fanjo.

take the whole thing off. Or just tell the gyno the story. It'll help you relax.

CalamityJ Sat 27-Jul-13 20:37:02

All off! Much better than a bizarre half bald fanjo!

emsyj Sat 27-Jul-13 20:38:23

Just take the whole lot off. My ladygarden is, ahem, rather sparse at the best of times so I don't think she will think you're weird for having yours extensively pruned.

Tittypulumpcious Sat 27-Jul-13 20:39:42

HE! It's a he! It's all coming off and tomorrow I'll keep my socks on and just look odd!

Whippetwarmer Sat 27-Jul-13 20:40:13

A smear test on a Sunday? They must be dedicated round your way!

Onesleeptillwembley Sat 27-Jul-13 20:41:18

Smear on a Sunday?

Tittypulumpcious Sat 27-Jul-13 20:43:19

Whippetwarmer you're right! Monday..I've been in the USA for 2 weeks I only got back early this morning, I don't know my arse from my elbow. Ok so I'll just take it all off dh is finding it very funny.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 27-Jul-13 20:44:26

What stae is your skin in, Op?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 27-Jul-13 20:44:42


Layl77 Sat 27-Jul-13 20:45:22

When I go they give you a paper towel thingy I put over my 'area' so they only actually see the -legs akimbo- region. I wouldn't worry about the top!

inneedofrain Sat 27-Jul-13 20:48:34

Take it all off and moisturise like a mad women!!!!!!

Gyno won't give a shit!

littlewhitebag Sat 27-Jul-13 20:56:16

Some years ago i had a hysterectomy. In advance of this i waxed my fanjo as i had been told they would shave it and i really wanted to avoid it. The result was that i looked like a plucked chicken and the gynae was very perturbed by this when he came to do his marker pen thing. He thought i had something wrong with my fanjo area.

OP - do whatever is needed to make it look normal. You don't need he gynae questioning your fanjo at times like this!

PleasePudding Sat 27-Jul-13 21:32:41

For your own peace of mind you must balance this one out.

However I used to nurse and never noticed anyone's pubes unless I actually needed to do something about it. However before DC3 in March I had a Brazilian out of concern for the surgeon (and also the midwife armed with the bic) I even considered a vajazzle to lighten the mood and out of curiosity.

It's weird how even though everyone knows medical professionals probably don't notice it's still weighs one the mind.

Out of interest do you find Veet itchy? I found it seriously itchy the first time but then so was waxing.

Angelfootprints Sat 27-Jul-13 23:16:30

Draw a smiley face on the bald bit.

He certainly wont be thinking about the hair then.

Infact do the drawing in such a way that the remaining hair becomes the smiley faces head hair.

SuperiorCat Sat 27-Jul-13 23:18:44

OMG be careful and put something soothing on your skin as you can get chemical burns from veet

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho Sat 27-Jul-13 23:21:40

Draw a stickman with a lawn mower.

Angelfootprints Sat 27-Jul-13 23:27:29

Ha ha! I vote stickman!

fakebook Sat 27-Jul-13 23:34:19

Buy or make your own merkin?

Balaboosta Sun 28-Jul-13 07:51:35

Make the stick man a woman and give her hedge trimmers. Tell the gynae 'don't mind her, she's just the lady gardener'

Onetwothreeoops Sun 28-Jul-13 07:55:56

Balaboosta grin

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