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To wake my husband and ask him to make me breakfast in bed?

(78 Posts)
Bejeena Sat 27-Jul-13 08:23:15

I am 37 weeks pregnant and before we ever conceived he always promised he'd wait on me hand and foot through pregnancy. In reality he actually hasn't very much, requests to pop to the shop when i really fancied something at the time (ie bag maltesers) were never met, another solution was always found and i did without. He is not happy with amount of cooking and housework he has to do and i have still been doing a fair bit.

He is snoring away next to me and it is 9:15am here as always on weekends - he lies in until 11am at least usually, although once again he promised I could always have breakfast in bed throughout pregnancy I almost always make it myself.

I am really hot (35c here already) really hungry and feel really uncomfortable and want to rest, is it really unfair to ask him to get up and make me something. I know if I get up and do it myself I'll just exhaust myself and the morning will be gone.

Am I unfair on him? I hear about lots of husbands doing plenty of things for their wives in late pregnancy but I am worried he'll moan and be in bad mood all weekend confused

How on earth women manage with a second pregnancy I don't know, he seems to think I'll change my mind on second child but not at the rate he is going, I'll need more support to do this again.

Baaaaa sorry just hormonal and need to moan really - but am I that unreasonable?

hermioneweasley Sat 27-Jul-13 08:25:06

YANBU, and you need to set clear expectations now as you will only be more tired, hormonal and in need of assistance in a couple of weeks when the baby is here!

mlamle Sat 27-Jul-13 08:26:32

Nah, prod him and get him up now! He needs to get used to not having lie-ins, might as well start gently now...

ModerationInEverything Sat 27-Jul-13 08:27:51

YANBU at all. I do it and I'm not even pregnant. Surely that's what husbands are for?

CocacolaMum Sat 27-Jul-13 08:28:34

You are pregnant, not ill.. why should he wake up and make you breakfast when you are perfectly capable?! I don't understand

Bejeena Sat 27-Jul-13 08:30:09

I have just sent him a text worded from the baby and his phone beeped and he stirred, not sure prodding will work much but when his phone beeps he sometimes moves smile

I hate not having much energy and would much rather be up and about doing things than lazing around in bed

CocacolaMum Sat 27-Jul-13 08:32:02

I feel for you being 37wks in 35degrees, get yourself comfortable, go get yourself food (you will only wind yourself up) and spend the day with your feet up. Let him sleep though, he will need his energy to run around after you for the rest of the day ;)

Bejeena Sat 27-Jul-13 08:33:22

Sorry with regards to the being pregnant and not ill, I am aware of this of course. However ctg has already shown I have been having some contractions yesterday and of course doctor said would be best to put feet up and keep baby in as long as possible as he was still measuring small ish according to scan. Plus the heat, pain and lack of energy.

I know pregnancy isn't an illness but surely I am not asking too much?

Justforlaughs Sat 27-Jul-13 08:34:55

Give him an ultimatum, either more help round the house or you will be hiring a home help with his money!
As for breakfast in bed, if you want it and he promised it then YANBU, but I know that I couldn't face it myself. I hate eating in bed (crumbs) and I can never face eating breakfast anyway

Justforlaughs Sat 27-Jul-13 08:35:48

Do you have access to a paddling pool? If so, go and sit in that and ask him to wait on you hand and foot for a day

Boosiehs Sat 27-Jul-13 08:41:07

YANBU!! My DH, said yesterday he didn't want me to do anything else around he house now as I've finally finished work at 36.2 weeks. I know I'm not ill, but its fucking hard work being this preg in this heat, let alone 35 degrees!!

If he promised, he should deliver. paddling pool sounds aces!

Bejeena Sat 27-Jul-13 08:41:43

Ah he just got up and is going to start making it and I suggested we have it together out on balcony as a nice start to the day, so hopefully all is well with the world. smile

He will do some housework too I'm sure grin

Bejeena Sat 27-Jul-13 08:42:40

I almost bought a paddling pool the other day just for my feet but will be plonking them in a bowl out there instead

Readallaboutit1 Sat 27-Jul-13 09:40:24

I am 39 weeks pregnant tomorrow, have a 22 MO DS and I am a single parent.

You're pregnant, not ill - Totally agree with this.

milkymocha Sat 27-Jul-13 09:52:47

Think you are going to get a shock when motherhood hits grin

motherinferior Sat 27-Jul-13 09:56:14

Oh, give the OP a break. Pregnancy may not be an illness but it damn well feels like one a lot of the time, and frankly if you can't demand a bit of attention in your last child-free weeks when can you? Enough of the gloom and doom about 'when the baby hits' - that's precisely why a bit of taking it easy now is a great idea.

iwillsleepagainsomeday Sat 27-Jul-13 09:56:17

boy, will he get a rude awakening once the baby will be born! Is he aware that his live will change?

FoodieToo Sat 27-Jul-13 10:05:23

You want to wake your husband to make you breakfast and in the past you asked him to go to shop to get you 'something you fancied'?
Seriously ?

I cannot cope with the 'poor me I am pregnant' attitude.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer Sat 27-Jul-13 10:09:53

I would be more concerned about how he will behave once the baby is here. Will he still expect an 11am lie in on weekends while you get up with the baby? Just tell him now that's not going to happen. We alternated lie ins on weekends and never till 11!

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Sat 27-Jul-13 10:26:05

I'm with motherinferior on this one, give the OP a break. Whilst pregnancy itself may well not be an illness, it is possible to have pregnancy related illnesses. It is also possible to just feel a bit crap whilst pregnant, and it sounds like OP is on instruction from the Dr to take it easy.
She is only asking for a bit of pampering, and he did promise her it.

Enjoy your breakfast OP x

motherinferior Sat 27-Jul-13 10:29:47

I loathed every bloody moment of both my pregnancies and wanted to biff anyone who told me to 'enjoy it' as they pranced around untroubled by SPD, heartburn or just general pregnancy crapness in their size 10 jeans stuffing themselves on interesting food and booze.

Daiso Sat 27-Jul-13 10:36:13

Pregnancy may not be an illness but it's hard work and tiring, not to forget the heat too.
I'm sure given the chance, everyone would like to be waited on whilst heavily pregnant and why not? The DH/partner has a responsibility too so if that means making you a bit of breakfast or grabbing you some choc from the shops then so be it. Hope you enjoyed your breakfast and rest now whilst you can!

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Sat 27-Jul-13 10:36:45

I loathed my second pregnancy, and got sick of the "you're pregnant not ill" remarks. But that said I was pregnant and ill... it is possible, and you can't always tell by looking.

StrawberrytallCAKE Sat 27-Jul-13 10:41:11

I cannot cope with women who have no empathy for others.

Pregnancy can be really tough and if it wasn't for you then you are lucky!

Hope you are enjoying a lovely breakfast on your balcony now. My dh was utterly shit in my first pregnancy as he didn't really understand what I was going through. I think witnessing the birth changed that and when I was pregnant with dc2 he was much more understanding so he may not be the same if you choose to have another.

jammiedonut Sat 27-Jul-13 10:44:48

I much prefer your solution of having breakfast together to making him wait on you hand and foot! My poor dh ended up signed off with stress after having to juggle the physical and emotional demands of work and looking after a very poorly (actually ill for most of the time) pregnant me! He tried so hard to be superman, and kept all his worries and stress to himself that he had a breakdown and I ended up looking after him! I'm sure I would've cracked if I'd been under the same immense pressure, so be careful what you wish for.
Yabu for expecting him to wake up nd make bib unless you would have done the same for him though, in which case go ahead!

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