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To spend £151 without consulting DH?

(134 Posts)
D0oinMeCleanin Fri 26-Jul-13 14:50:49

Because the twat is ignoring me, as he normally does when I need something that costs more than my weekly wages and needs to come from our savings.

My glasses have broken. We are entitled to an NHS voucher towards the cost of this, but I often end up having to pay anyway. Last time (2 years ago) I had to pay £80, this included costs towards the frames I chose and thinning the lenses. My voucher covered the other £100 and something pounds.

I am off to Tesco now to inquire about a new voucher and price up how much my glasses would be with my voucher, in the meantime I've found a website that offers free lenses with designer frames and a free pair of glasses with each pair of frames you buy, so I could get one pair of regular glasses and one pair of sunglasses and still have my whole voucher for future use if I needed it.

Obviously if Tesco is dramatically cheaper using my voucher, I will do that, if it's barely cheaper or no cheaper at all, WIBU to order the ones online using our credit card (the one which the bill is paid in full each month from the savings account, if it's been used)?

I will not see DH now until the 1st of August and he refuses to discuss these things with me simply choosing to not answer his phone in the hope that I go away and forgot about what I wanted.

Our savings more than cover the cost of the frames. I cannot wait until the 1st because then they will not be ready for our holiday and I am not going on holiday in glasses held together by cellotape. Even ordering them today would be cutting it fine for delivery so it needs to be done now.

AIBU? We normally discuss bug purchases but I have to wait until I catch him at home. I'd still need to use the credit card to pay towards the cost of the Tesco ones if it came to more then £50 which is likely.

YouTheCat Fri 26-Jul-13 14:53:20

If this was for a dress/shoes/bag or other non-essential I'd say £151 is a lot but I'm presuming you really need new glasses.

Your dh is being an arse.

Bringmewineandcake Fri 26-Jul-13 14:54:07

Do it! That would be my uppermost limit for spending without agreement but it's for glasses, not a spray tan - do it!!
Definitely not BU

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 26-Jul-13 14:55:03

To add weight to my argument he just spent £180 on a season ticket to our local football club without checking with me first.

I don't need as such, as in mine are still fit for purpose for now, but they're held together with fooking sellotape. I look ridiculous.

HellonHeels Fri 26-Jul-13 14:55:46

If you need the glasses, buy them. Unless it means you and your children can't afford to eat.

I'd prefer to buy glasses in person rather than online so they can be fitted correctly.

Sounds as though you and your H need to establish a better means of communicating.

HellonHeels Fri 26-Jul-13 14:57:56

Just seen your update.

So, when you say "we normally discuss big purchases" you actually mean "I have to ask him about big purchases but he does whatever he likes"?

You must see that that is not a reasonable situation?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Fri 26-Jul-13 14:58:12

Have a look on Money Saving Expert, there are often online deals that work out cheaper and MSE often have the details. I think there was an offer a few weeks back of Designer glasses for £39 complete (lenses incl.) including postage.
If you have got them as cheap as you can go for it. Glasses are a necessity.

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 26-Jul-13 14:58:19

I work evenings and he works days, I also get up and leave the house before him, so we see each other for all of 5 minutes when I get in before I go to bed, to get up the next morning, so unless I am off, the phone or FB is our only means of contact and I have no days off now until the 1st.

hellsbells99 Fri 26-Jul-13 14:59:32

Yanbu but not sure if I would buy glasses off the internet. Why don't you google and see what deals specsavers and Boots are doing?

YoniRanger Fri 26-Jul-13 15:00:20

Your DH is a twat.
He has been a twat as long as I've been on MN.

Do whatever you want.

Englishroses Fri 26-Jul-13 15:00:31

Wow, one reason to have separate finances! Surely it can't be healthy that you have to question this purchase.

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 26-Jul-13 15:01:08

Only when it comes to football. He discusses everything else with me. Just not football, although last year he asked me. I'm a lot more laid back with money so my answer is always "If you think it's worth that price and you want it, go ahead" whereas he spends weeks or even months trying to source cheaper alternatives when we need to spend large amounts of money (or even small amounts of money) but I have no time to wait for him to do this. I look like a female Jack Duckworth blush

YouTheCat Fri 26-Jul-13 15:01:27

So he buys a season ticket for football but you can't have glasses that you need because yours are falling apart?

Buy them anyway. And make sure to spend £180.

TeWiSavesTheDay Fri 26-Jul-13 15:01:50

They're glasses, you need them to see, that's the end of it - just buy them.

PS your h is a dick if he thanks it's okay to spend large amounts of money on inessential things, but cold shoulder you for doing the same on essentials.

WeAreEternal Fri 26-Jul-13 15:03:48

Glasses are not a luxury purchase, such as a handbag, a tv or football tickets, they are an essential item.

You need them so you are absolutely not BU to use the savings.
You are hardly doing it behind his back if he won't even discuss it with you.
He sounds like a bit of a dick tbh.

starfishmummy Fri 26-Jul-13 15:03:49

If you need new glasses, you need new glasses. I suspect he doesn't need to wear them, hence the trying to make you forget that you need them. Personally I would not buy on line - they cant check that the glasses are the best fit and who is going to do that tweaking to make sure they fit comfortably? A lot of bricks and mortar opticans do regular offers so shop around.

But this is about more than the glasses isn't it?

Coconutty Fri 26-Jul-13 15:04:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamityJones Fri 26-Jul-13 15:05:33

YoniRanger said it beautifully. Why are you married to him? He really does sound like a complete twat.

coraltoes Fri 26-Jul-13 15:06:31

looks at net a porter delivery um just buy them love. All the better to see his season ticket with grin

coraltoes Fri 26-Jul-13 15:07:17

oops sorry about the bold!

Catmint Fri 26-Jul-13 15:07:42

Glasses held together with tape = need new ones.

Buy them.

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 26-Jul-13 15:07:58

That's where I found them Coconutty.

Designer frames £75, their 'gold package' lenses £33 x 2, one pair of UV protection tinted lenses £10, a free pair of frames £0.

I thought that was a good deal? I'd feel so much more confident in sunglasses type glasses around the pool and could then wear my contacts on an evening.

And they are frames I've before from Tesco so I know they fit, Tesco is my main opticians and are great for altering frames I've bought on line for free.

MaxPepsi Fri 26-Jul-13 15:08:03

Buy them.

And order yourself some contacts whilst your at it (if you can wear them) and then order some really nice bloody sunglasses too.

I'm a beleiver of discussing large purchases.

And I have conversations with my DH about my glasses. However this is more of a case of do I get them now on the credit card, or wait until pay day. Not whether or not I can have them. Glasses are not a fucking accessory, they are an essential!

Buy the glasses they are an essential.

You really don't need to discuss this with him especially as he didn't discuss the season ticket. Its great if one of you is prepared to shop around for car insurance, a new wardrobe etc but to paraphrase a well known MN phrase "Your glasses; your choice!"

StanleyLambchop Fri 26-Jul-13 15:09:52

I don't need as such, as in mine are still fit for purpose for now, but they're held together with fooking sellotape. I look ridiculous

If your glasses are held together with sellotape then new ones are a necessity. Spend the money and tell him to stuff his season ticket up his arse if he complains!

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