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to feel like I have failed because I want to give up on baby led weaning?

(161 Posts)
honeytea Fri 26-Jul-13 10:33:13

Ds is 7 months old and he is doing reaply well with his eating. We waited till 6 months before we offered him food and we have been following blw. He has been eating the same food as us and actually managing to chew strips of chicken and trying lots of vegetables, he hardly ever gaggs and he seems to really enjoy food.

The only problem we have is the mess, I am not the greatest cleaner I have been spending 15-20 minutes aftereeach meal cleaning the highchair, floor, walls, baby, me. Ds can crawl and has just started pulling himself up and cruising around the furniture so I can't just leave him sat on the floor with a toy whilst I clean up anymore.

We are staying at my mums and last night we got back from a day out really late. I bought a pouch of baby food and gave it to ds on a spoon, he ate it with no problem andthe clean up took about 20 seconds.

I feel like I am letting ds down if we give up on blw as he is doing so well, but I don't want to waste quality time with him cleaning up avoidable mess. I like the idea of ds having control of what and how much he eats, I really want to help him develop a healthy relationship with food as its something I have struggled with.

Lazyjaney Sat 27-Jul-13 23:23:29

Do what works, most theories don't survive contact with babies.

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:31:07

Most theories assume that babies are the same. The babies have not read the books and they are all different anyway.

lucamom Sun 28-Jul-13 07:34:25

If it helps, the mess does get much less-to the point where my niece still has to wear a bib aged two whereas my daughter hasn't worn one since about 12 months. BLW naturally makes the child a neater eater!

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:42:26

Again- all children are different. Mine all had a mixture. DS 1 was an extremely neat eater- he hated his hands being messy. DS 2 didn't care and was messy. DS3 was again a neat eater- he probably had the others to copy.

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:45:12

I know twins now- who are now 2yrs and had (horrible term) BLW and one is neat and one is messy- it is the way they approached food from the start and nothing to do with the method.

katiecubs Sun 28-Jul-13 07:48:07

I don't even understand why BLW has a name. I feed DS 'food' some is mushy and some is hard. They are not mutually exclusive.

SoupDragon Sun 28-Jul-13 07:52:47

BLW naturally makes the child a neater eater!

LOLOL. No it doesn't.

Rosa Sun 28-Jul-13 07:53:46

Maverick 66 I agree 100% .. do what is right for you and your baby.. Purees with lumps and a spoon why the heck not. A few strips , large bits fine. Bit of what you are eating fine .. Its not a challenge or obligatory do what your instinct says.

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 07:57:07

It seems mad to me to all sit eating yoghurt and not give it to the baby because they would need to be offered it upon a spoon! And even madder to say they are a neater eater aged 2years because they were not offered food on a spoon!

KingRollo Sun 28-Jul-13 08:22:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca Sun 28-Jul-13 08:39:36

It's a fad. I think more finger foods for weaning kids is a plus but kids' food also has to fit in with the parents and with getting enough food into the kids.
My kids were pre-BLW and eat nearly everything now. I think kids eating with parents and seeing their parents enjoying their food and no emotional fusses at meal times are the important thing. They generally had our food in a suitable format for their age.

MiaowTheCat Sun 28-Jul-13 08:44:15

I love some of the claims made for these fads/things people have done for ages but now have a fancy name attached to them.

BLW=automatic neat eating... bollocks
A child who is going to be a neat eater anyway = a neat eater
A child like me who you could tell exactly what was on the school lunch menu by what had made it into my hair everyday = never going to be a neat eater

I think the thing that turned me off BLWing (apart from the fucking bitch fanatic of it who accused me of "ramming food into my child's throat") was the stupid lengths people were going to to make stuff that wasn't easily accessible as finger food - fingerfoodable. Soup is runny, we eat runny things with a spoon for obvious reasons and people were tying themselves up in knots trying to invent ways to make it something that the baby could get in their mouths with their hands for fear of somehow "failing" with the grand prescriptive masterplan of child rearing if they let a spoon pass the child's mouths.

It's a spoon FFS - not a bloody Scud Missile!

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 08:59:24

Love it Miaow! I am all for bringing back common sense.

soapysam Sun 28-Jul-13 10:10:42

No one will look at your child in 20 years time and be able to tell what method of weaning you used, or indeed when they were potty trained, how long they had a comfort blanket or even if you rocked them to sleep every night singing 'Beautiful Kittenfish' at a whisper directly into their ear until their beautiful eyes fluttered closed, then lay them in their beds as stealthily as a ninja so as not to wake them at bloody 4 years old

Mix it up, don't be so harsh on yourself flowers

Ipp3 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:18:08

Oh miaow the cat I loved your post on page two. Couldnn't agree more!

Ipp3 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:20:22

And your post on page four, miaow. You are cool!

diddl Sun 28-Jul-13 10:30:05

I'm sure that before BLW became the thing do do, most of us did it in some form anyway.

There was always something that you would cut up for baby to feed themselves.

Treagues Sun 28-Jul-13 10:55:13

Dear OP

I was a MN regular when BLW came to be 'a thing' and on this site in particular it was helped along by a few well-known MNers getting in on the game and occasionally talking down to people who had the temerity to mention spoons. It was quite ridiculously obvious at the time that the head honcho woman (a hv iirc, not an MNer) was looking for a book deal and she got it.

The whole thing was created in part as a genuine reaction to people opening three jars a day for their babies (fair enough, processed food shouldn't make up the whole of anyone's diet) but also as 'territory marking' - if you can corner the market with an acronym and a manifesto, you can make a bit of a name for yourself on the talk/book circuit and some money as well. No matter that the manifesto is not revolutionary and many people do it anyway. Baby matters seem to attract a lot of this (sleep/routine anyone?) probably because we are all feeling a bit out of our depths and it's easy to induce guilt about our precious babes.

The way you're feeding your ds is entirely normal and all the best to you smile

ZolaBuddleia Sun 28-Jul-13 11:09:17

Have you got long sleeved bibs? The SillyBillyz ones are best, I got mine on Ebay. I never had to change DD's clothes after a meal.

cory Sun 28-Jul-13 11:30:56

If you get to the stage where the baby can't join in an ordinary family meal and have what everybody else is having because it would mean using <sharp intake of breath> an implement, then I hardly think it is either baby led or very natural.

Can't remember if I put it in my previous post but one of my most treasured photos is of 1yo ds in his high chair lovingly spoon-feeding his 4 yo sister: his pride and their mutual enjoyment of the situation shine out of that picture.

schroedingersdodo Sun 28-Jul-13 11:36:09

Why don't you do one meal a day with spoon, to avoid the mess?

I know how you feel, I hate having to clean everything 3 times a day but with time I got faster and more efficient at that.

mrsjay Sun 28-Jul-13 11:40:33

oh lovey just feed your baby honestly just feed him what he likes BLW weaning is just weaning it is all food you are not letting anybody down by not follwing a tredny way of giving your baby food,

exoticfruits Sun 28-Jul-13 11:54:50

Why even think about it? Just do a meal with everyone else and use a spoon if necessary.
I think that we should have some classic MN sayings and Miaow's
it's a spoon FFS- not a bloody Scud Missile could go down. grin it might at least make people pause when they are taking themselves too seriously over things that don't matter.

roundtable Sun 28-Jul-13 11:57:43

I suppose I do baby led weaning, but ds does use a spoon. In fact nowhere in the books etc does it say no spoons allowed.

However, I do firmly believe that different methods work for different babies, puree, finger foods, mashed foods and so on.

The thing that I personally feel is important is not relying on jars/pouches all the time. Fresh is always going to be more nutritious but sometimes needs must. Plus stopping feeding a baby when they've clearly had enough. It makes me cringe when I see parents encouraging babies to eat more, especially when it's because they want them to finish those massive jars.

It's not the method. It's the variety, the quantity and the nutritious value of the food the baby is eating.

I do think this only applies to babies, once they get to toddlerhood, all bets are off as they use food as a weapon of control. grin

Yanbu, go with what works for your family. Good luck op, it goes so fast. smile

mrsjay Sun 28-Jul-13 11:58:31

it's a spoon FFS- not a bloody Scud Missile


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