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AIBU to feel hopeless and depressed? :(

(27 Posts)
JasmineAshley Thu 25-Jul-13 23:21:52


I was referred by my cousin who has 3 DC and found mumsnet to be a very supportive place. I know that this is primarily a parenting website, so I hope it's OK to post this question here.

I am going through a lot of conflicting emotions at the moment because I am 2 weeks from my 24th birthday and I have never been in a serious relationship with a man. I've only had 3 brief 'flings', and I haven't ever had sex.

I've always been a serious student and was classed as the 'nerd' all throughout school. In addition to this, I was a very sick child which kept me at home away from people my own age quite a bit.

However, since the past 3 years or so, I have been doing internships and then a postgrad programme. I have had opportunities to interact with men and they have expressed interest in me, but nothing ever works out.

I don't think I am ugly. I am not an obnoxious personality. I don't know what's going wrong?sad I should mention that I am not a party girl. I don't really go out drinking or for parties very often. This is because I am currently quite focused on trying to get a job and it's a time consuming process. Is that where the problem lies?? Should I socialise more?

I find that I am just not approached by men as much as other women my age and I don't know why that is. I see all my friends in relationships and they seem happy. I find myself wanting the same thing sad

A close friend told me that I am am 'intimidating' to men because I come across as a 'feminist'. hmm It's true that I am involved in a lot of causes which could be classed as feminist, but I don't go around announcing them and I can't imagine that they would bother someone so much even if he knew about it??

Essentially, I feel like an oddity and I feel hopeless. I very much want to be in a relationship, but it just isn't working out for me.

Anyone got any advice? Anyone been in this situation?

AlanMoore Sat 27-Jul-13 11:13:23

Yes yes yes what she said! ^^

I was single (barring a couple of flings) for two years before I met DP and I did more in that time than in the previous decade. If I'd met him sooner I wouldn't have been ready.

We met through a friend, but by chance rather than design. We had met before but he was in a relationship and I didn't really register him, also i met his GF at the time and she was gorgeous and I am not so much so probably had mentally filed him away under 'likes stunning women'!

Squitten Sun 28-Jul-13 08:40:38

One of my closest friends didn't have a proper relationship until she nearly 30. She was very career-oriented in her 20s and had specific ideas about what she wanted from a partner. She has now met a lovely guy, introduced via family friends, and they are getting married. He shares her cultural views and she is very happy.

Don't settle for any man just so you can have a man. Relax about it, be happy in your own skin and know who you are before you try attaching yourself to someone else's life. Being in a relationship is one thing - aim to be in a GREAT relationship!

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