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To not want to work as a childminder during the holidays.

(50 Posts)
MrsLouisTheroux Thu 25-Jul-13 21:47:08

I am a teacher and I have been asked to look after a a friend's DS every Monday starting next week because I am off work and she has no childcare.
I am looking after my neices for 10 days (spread over the 6 weeks) because their parents are at work and have no child care.
I also have another friend's child every Friday over the 6 weeks.
I get 65 days paid holiday. The minimum paid holiday is 28 so I understand that I get a good deal but is it right that I am seen as free holiday childcare?
This latest request has p'd me off.

Chattymummyhere Thu 25-Jul-13 21:48:51

Just say no, I stay at home so doubt will get asked a few time but unless its an emergency I will say no..

I don't stay home for others to earn money I stay home to be here for my children and make work life easier for my other half.


Fraxinus Thu 25-Jul-13 21:50:46

If you like doing it, then just say, yes except these 2 weeks when I am on holiday myself. If you don't want to do it, don't. Hasn't got any childcare= hasn't FOUND any child care. If you said no they'd keep looking.

The 6 weeks can be tricky, I am sympathetic, but you need a well earned rest during the time too, and should say so.

Loobylou123 Thu 25-Jul-13 21:51:17

Yanbu - your holiday should be just that no matter how much you get. Besides, there is still classroom prep and planning to be done in all teacher's holidays. Just say you can't commit to every Monday but may be able to help out once or twice. Can't say fairer than that smile

Jinty64 Thu 25-Jul-13 21:51:45

I don't have childcare in the holidays so I pay for a holiday club. Your friends should do likewise. I have friends who are teachers but would never ask them to take ds. If it was just a single day or in an emergency it would be different.

MrsLouisTheroux Thu 25-Jul-13 21:52:20

I hadn't thought about SAHM being in the same situation! My DC's holidays don't coincide with mine next year ( different LA) I think I'll ask that friends use their A leave to look after my DC for me!

MortifiedAdams Thu 25-Jul-13 21:52:53

YABU. You have been asked thus allowing you to.say yes or no. Grow some balls grin

GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate Thu 25-Jul-13 21:54:10

Yanbu, I can see this happening to me when DD reaches school age. Perhaps you should ask those parents to return the favour by representing you at all the school plays, assemblies and sports days you will never be able to attend?

RoadToTuapeka Thu 25-Jul-13 21:54:20

Yanbu to say no. It was a bit cheeky of your friend to ask! As a one off maybe ok, but an ongoing committment is a bit much. Maybe if she had explained the situation, said she would pay etc that might be worth talking about but you are not given holidays to take on other people's childcare!
Just say no, you have other commitments, no need to feel guilty about it.

Squitten Thu 25-Jul-13 21:54:23

So just say no. What's the big deal? They can ask but more fool you for doing it!

jammiedonut Thu 25-Jul-13 21:54:43

Learn to say no. Or charge. They're cheeky buggers for asking definitely!

MrsLouisTheroux Thu 25-Jul-13 21:56:02

Looby I am paying for my DC to go to clubs for 4 days next week so I can get everything done for next year!! It's only 1 week out of 6 but is costing ££s!

nannynick Thu 25-Jul-13 21:56:20


Caring for someone else's child is a responsibility and being tied to do that every week can soon become a burden. Helping out a friend every now and then is fine, doing it every week is expecting a bit much in my view.

MrsLouisTheroux Thu 25-Jul-13 21:57:03

mortified grin Yes, you are right!

YANBU not to want to, so just say no.

It is only a request after all, and therefore you have the option to politely decline, with or without a good reason.

If she reacts badly, then that is very telling. You are under no obligation to use your time off to provide free child care!!

However, if she is a good friend/ family, might you be able to offer something to help them out?? If I were in a position where I were off, I would like to think I would do a little to help at least. Although like you, wouldn't want to sacrifice my whole holiday

MerrilyWatkins Thu 25-Jul-13 22:00:18

Ask them if they can have your children every Sunday during term time whilst you do your weekly planning. Seems a fair exchange.

sandiy Thu 25-Jul-13 22:00:57

Say absolutely that's no problem in return you can have my children at such and such time consider it free baby sitting in evenings so you can go out in term time Or just say no.I think it's a bit cheeky there are countless holiday clubs etc available

MrsLouisTheroux Thu 25-Jul-13 22:03:33

giant I do want to help out and that's why I am looking after nieces and my other friend's DC but that was planned and is on the calendar I know where I stand. I agreed to it. This other friend has got wind of it and is chancing her luck I think. I would have offered if I wanted to do it. I'm just going to say no, sorry, got too much on.

MrsLouisTheroux Thu 25-Jul-13 22:04:51

Oooh merrily THAT is a good idea!! grin

Dahlen Thu 25-Jul-13 22:13:26

Of course YANBU to not want to do it. YABU possibly for having a moan about being asked. A request is just that - you can say no.

If said friend is an entitled madam who will pout, tell her where to shove it and I'll give you a definite YANBU wink. Otherwise just say no.

I've been guilty of leaning on friends a little bit lately as I've had a few let downs with my organised childcare. I wouldn't dream of putting on people who are unwilling though, and always express my gratitude through gifts or reciprocal good terms. My friends know they can say no and I'd be mortified if I thought they were pissed off with me for even asking.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 25-Jul-13 22:47:20

Course you aren't U

It's your holiday time and different looking after neices - plus you have one day a week already planned so if you agree to this the. Will only have 3 spare days a week - over 6 weeks summer holiday that's 18 days - minus the 10 agrees with Nieces so that leaves you with 8 days to call your own if you agree to help

Your friend can pay for holidays clubs / cm / temp nanny or sort out play dates with 6 parents so each one has the child once

Redlocks30 Thu 25-Jul-13 23:02:18

Just say no-you don't want to be tied down. Don't say you'll do it and then moan all summer and wish you hadn't agreed.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Thu 25-Jul-13 23:27:16

Oooooh well I don't know MrsLouis , 'tis a rum do you know..........
You are used to a whole class of 25+ little anklebiters , day in, day out.

What's one or two tiny little angelic children for a few days....
<<Wanders off tutting to self>>

YANBU- family ,okay, fair enough. You help out.
But friends, only if you really want to, not because they see you as a freebie babysitter.

NaturalBaby Thu 25-Jul-13 23:31:48

If they expect you to look after their dc's then suggest it's only fair they look after your's for an equal number of days/hours. They do understand you have planning and marking to do don't they?
Charge the going rate for local childminders and see what your friend says then. Don't forget about any extras for food and activities.

thebody Thu 25-Jul-13 23:32:21

you are most certainly NOT a childminder unless you are Ofsted registered, insured, have a recent paediatric first aid certificate, home and car insurance, policies and procedures.

you don't legally need these for your nieces as family but you certainly do for a friends child if she is paying you or you are breaking the law.

anyway she's a cheeky cow so tell her to sod off.

you need a break.

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