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To wonder why some men feel the need to insult women?

(85 Posts)
dontcallmehon Thu 25-Jul-13 17:16:11

I used to get a lot of male attention when I was younger - both 'positive' (if intimidating - catcalls etc and also negative, hostile reactions. Simply for existing, I think. I don't get it so much, now - I dress quite casually and have a few years experience of life, so don't come across as quite so vulnerable.

However, today I was walking past a group of lads who I could see were out to insult passers by. One of them laughed and said: 'pretty ugly' as I walked past. Now I am not ugly (not that it matters!) but I am an attractive, nicely dressed woman who clearly takes care of her appearance. Even if I didn't - what makes these men think that the way a woman looks has anything at all to do with them? hmm

AIBU to wonder why you would want to insult and intimidate someone who is simply going about their daily life? Luckily I have high self esteem and I am very confident about the way I look - but I could imagine some women being really upset by this kind of thing sad.

dontcallmehon Fri 26-Jul-13 22:10:00

Odd that a lout on the street would think I was beneath him.

ParsleyTheLioness Fri 26-Jul-13 22:10:04

There seems a suprising amount of knuckle-draggers around unfortunately.

Splitheadgirl Fri 26-Jul-13 22:14:10

dontcallmehon, he thinks and KNOWS you are above him, and that is why he is trying to bring you down.

These poor entitled males don't know what to do when confronted with a smart, beautiful, has-it-together woman, because the little shits were taught to believe THEY are supposed to be better and superior.

So they do the one and only thing they do well...insult her.

RoxyFox211 Sat 27-Jul-13 07:40:43

One time me and my friend were walking on the pavement next to a main road going through town and (kid you not) too lads slowed down their car, one reached out the window & smacked my mates bum shockshock then they drove off laughing. Another time when I was drinking on the beach a lad shouted out to me that I "looked like I'd fallen out of Marilyn mansons ass" I still don't know what that was meant to mean. But I was so stoned and pissed I started laughing and couldn't stop - not the reaction they were hoping for- and things got quite hairy for a while. One got their cock out & threatened to piss on my mates head hmm. People....

bragmatic Sat 27-Jul-13 07:48:09

peer group pressure + insecurity.

equinox Sat 27-Jul-13 07:52:16

Personally I would just ignore the mindless twats who have to stoop so low in order to make themselves feel important and give themselves something to do....!

Shows how lowminded and meanspirited some people can be - it is for us to feel sorry for them in a way.

Pagwatch Sat 27-Jul-13 07:53:50

It's actually not just about women.
Try walking around town with a young man with SN.

There is a sub section of young men who's entire self worth is wrapped up in 'owning' wherever they are by being randomly vile to anyone they see as a target.
Personally I am reaching the point where I would like a big gun.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 27-Jul-13 08:35:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArmadillo Sat 27-Jul-13 09:19:24

I go on a weight loss forum, it's depressing how many women give the reason as to why they put the weight back on after losing it, is that they couldn't cope with this kind of aggression from men. Having been very fat myself for a long time and then having lost most of it I know what they mean.

When you are very big you often become invisible, or the comments aimed at you are not of a sexual nature. When you lose the weight, even men who have known you for a long time start looking you up and down, making comments. Add to that the sexual aggression from this kind of wanker and it is hard not to go back to being 'safe' by putting the weight back on. How fucking depressing is that? It's hard to deal with your body apparently being public property, but apparently that is what many men think women's bodies are.

Also the amount of women who put weight on as a result of sexual abuse in order to protect themselves. One woman said she knew if she was big no one would be physically able to move her or drag her into a car (as has happened previously).

It's fucking awful that women are made to feel like this and that it isn't seen as a big problem as a whole. I have lost respect for several men I know as a result of me losing weight.

mercury7 Sat 27-Jul-13 10:16:29

i think alot of them are just 'knucledraggers'
who act out of blind instinct and never stop to question themselves or reflect on what they do.

Surely there are thinking men out there?

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