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To think that if your child has headlice, you should warn people?

(36 Posts)
KirjavaTheCat Thu 25-Jul-13 09:10:03


The child we've caught them off is family. OH's 4yo sister. MIL came to stay for a week, and said nothing the whole time. There are no other candidates from which we could have caught them, MIL sports a shaved head and DS hasn't had contact with his usual playmate in a couple of weeks, just her.

A heads (no pun intended) up would have been bloody nice. By the end of the week DS was scratching and I checked his hair, couldn't find anything and put it down to him having got a bit of sand in his hair the day before, now understanding the strange embarrassed look MIL had.

I'm now facing the two-week nit purge on mixed-race hair and my own. Lovely jubbly. angry

WaitMonkey Thu 25-Jul-13 09:17:25

YANBU. How bloody selfish. And how selfish not to treat her dd if she knows she had them. Poor kid. Good look on getting rid of them. Hate the things.

LIZS Thu 25-Jul-13 09:18:02

So you've been to no shopping areas, soft play , play groups etc recently ? Wouldn't you have noticed the 4yo 's discomfort ?

KirjavaTheCat Thu 25-Jul-13 09:23:54

No softplays, nowhere where he could get close to other children, really. We just went to the beach all week and those two played together. I'm not angry that we have them, it's a pain in the arse but we'll get rid of them.

Is it still so taboo that parents don't talk to one another about them?

Poledra Thu 25-Jul-13 09:27:43

Nope, I tell my CM when my kids get them, so she can warn the other parents and, if I see them, I tell the parents of the children's best friends. AND I have usually treated the offending child and conditioned-and-combed any child not showing active infestation just in case. I would not be chuffed in your shoes, especially with mixed-race hair - DDs 1 and 3's curly locks are bad enough angry

quoteunquote Thu 25-Jul-13 09:28:28

I work on the assumption that all other children have head lice, so if the children have had contact with other children they get the nitty gritty comb and conditioner treatment.

that way it is a quick comb through most days.

In twenty plus years of having children I have found that is the only thing that keeps them nit free.

LadyBryan Thu 25-Jul-13 09:31:55

YANBU - of course they should warn you.

I wasn't very impressed when we went to a party last weekend and one of the children had them. Parent said "oh its going around the class so they're all going to gt them". Long hair, flying all over the place

Apart from my daughter isn't IN your child's school let alone class. Selfish.

Sokmonsta Thu 25-Jul-13 09:34:34

Yanbu. My dd came home from school with one egg/louse on the last day of term. I contacted everyone I could to let them know and ask them to pass the info around. One person said thanks, meant to tell you x has them too. Another, family member, thanked me for the heads up. Next time I saw them and their dc it was painfully obvious one dc had lice. A quick look showed they were bloody riddled.

I've gone to painstaking efforts to keep dc free this school year, long hair tied up. Even when they're playing with friends during weekends/holidays, regular combing etc. it makes me cross.

I understand my family member works ft. But I've offered repeatedly to help her out - one of her dc gets them on a very regular basis. Dc just tells me that she gets them from their classmates who don't get treated. I can't tell them they are probably the child grumbles about by the other parents.

Gah! Excuse the rant but trying to comb through a curly-topped, wriggly baby isn't easy and it frustrates me that people don't think of the impact it has on others.

greenhill Thu 25-Jul-13 09:38:27


I tend to visually check my DC's hair when I brush it in the mornings, during long waits at bus stops and when brushed before bed. They've only had lice once, but as we've all got long hair, it's worth checking very regularly.

Xihha Thu 25-Jul-13 09:52:43

YANBU, dd and I both have thick waist length curly hair and there are a couple of children at playschool who are permanently scratching, we use repellent spray and comb our hair through every day and she still manages to get them because her best friends mum won't treat her daughter coz its too expensive!

Iamnotmyself Thu 25-Jul-13 10:00:36

If mine have them I treat immediately and don't let them mix with other children until they have been treated. I don't tell other parents that they have them, but I do make sure I treat them properly, and then again a week later.

A lot of parents just accept that their children have nits, don't warn you, don't treat properly let alone doing it again after a week and what's more they continue to allow them to play with others, untreated, and even have sleepovers etc.

If we all took responsibility for our own children's hair then it might not be so commonplace.

KirjavaTheCat Thu 25-Jul-13 10:06:16

Just really annoyed she didn't say anything. She took her DD's braids out to let her scalp relax for a few days and didn't say a word, her and DS were cuddling up together at night for bedtime stories, no warning. Maybe we could have avoided it if I'd known, maybe not, but I find it really rude to just come and go without any thought for it.

Ugh. DS is at pre-school in September, is it as bad there, or does it all start at school?

And I learnt from a previous thread that the treatment's available on prescription, so surely cost doesn't come into it? I remember being the nitty kid, it wasn't nice, everyone knew sad Kids always know.

TantrumsAndBalloons Thu 25-Jul-13 10:06:37

Mixed race hair and nit combing is a bloody nightmare.

I remember when dd was 6, there was headlice in the school for an entire year. We would spend hours combing, getting rid them, then 2 days later it was back.
The only time she was nit free was in the holidays.

Do you use olive oil spray or pink moisturizer in your DCs hair OP?
If you do, put more on grin
It makes it harder for the head live to grip on.
Not impossible-just harder.

I found that because Afro hair is so thick and curly, the products are a waste of time. You would need twice the amount so we used olive oil conditioner and a nitty gritty comb. Every day. For a year.

claraschu Thu 25-Jul-13 10:07:11

People don't take the trouble to really get rid of them. Lots of people say that their child "keeps catching" them, whereas really their children are just permanently infested. One or two treatments doesn't kill all of them.

KirjavaTheCat Thu 25-Jul-13 10:16:23

I discovered that last time Tantrums when he caught them off his cousin, it didn't work and had to wash it so much to get the damn stuff out that it broke most of his hair off as well angry

I'm gonna condition and nitty-gritty, it's what worked last time. Ahh joy.

Fourwillies Thu 25-Jul-13 12:12:28

There's so much misinformation out there about nits. Nits only lay one egg a day, so if a child is riddled with them they've been there a good while. Lice cannot fit, they walk. So actually it's much easier for boys with short hair to catch them, by having head to head contact, than girls with long hair as its further for the louse to walk. But once they're in long or very thick hair it's harder to get rid of them.
My son's teacher, with 30 years experience, stopped me and said she thought he had nits. He didn't, it was cradle cap but she said it "looks the same." It bloody doesn't!

Iamnotmyself Thu 25-Jul-13 12:35:56

Well what not many people realise is the life cycle and how long it takes.

The treatments don't normally kill the eggs. So you kill the adults and babies, one week, then the eggs will hatch within 7 days, and you HAVE to treat again with the same stuff ONE WEEK later, to kill all the hatchlings, BEFORE they start laying eggs of their own (which they can do at a week old I think)

So if people just did what it says on the packet, it would be more likely to work.

I do find however that after 15 minutes of Hedrin, they are occasionally still alive - so I leave it on for more like 45 minutes to an hour. Then wash off. It doesn't hurt the person, it's not a toxic substance - it just suffocates the lice.

And it's FAR easier to get off with shampoo than Full marks (which I have to shampoo out about 4 times before it's gone)

I use a spray of 200ml water and 10 drops tea tree oil every day and it's kept my dds clear. I stopped for a month when I'd run out and within a couple of weeks they were crawling again. I'd add the oil to your hair product and see if that helps keep them clear of the little devils. I hate head lice.

Iamnotmyself Thu 25-Jul-13 13:14:13

You could probably clear the infestation properly if you used Hedrin or similar, Broomsticks. Then keep the spray as a deterrent and keep their hair tied up etc.

It is £££ though.

nannynewo Thu 25-Jul-13 20:16:50

YADNBU. Everytime I babysit for a family and the child has had nits the parents will warn me, even if they think they have cleared them all. It is simply common courtesy.

BoozyBear Thu 25-Jul-13 20:20:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PowerPants Thu 25-Jul-13 22:48:55

Agree with BoozyBear.

kreecherlivesupstairs Thu 25-Jul-13 23:16:36

Boozy for Queen.
touch wood my DD hasn't had them for about a year. She used to come home riddled with the bloody things thanks to a parent who wouldn't treat them as it was her DHs job and, if he was out of the country on business, the children were running alive...

Xihha Thu 25-Jul-13 23:17:26

I learnt from a previous thread that the treatment's available on prescription, so surely cost doesn't come into it?

Oooh I didn't know that, sadly I think with the best friends mum the cost is a convenient excuse for being too lazy as I offered to buy her some stuff when I had to treat my dd and she wasn't interested in doing it then.

BoozyBear Thu 25-Jul-13 23:57:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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